You might be a toy collector...

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I thought it would be kind of fun to come up with various collector jokes in the comedic styling of Jeff Foxworthy.

I'll start off.

If you bought the same toy again because you forgot you already had it, you might be a toy collector.

If you eat your lunch at your desk because you used your entire lunch break to go toy hunting, you might be a toy collector.

If your diet consists mainly of Ramen noodles to save money for toys, you might be a toy collector.
 
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If in the middle of a divorce you pack up a box & mark it her half, You might be a toy collector, & found a great way to get rid I mean add value to the POTF2 junk.

If you find yourself in a Walmart during a pandemic & then have to go back because you forgot to look for the TP You might be a toy collector.
 
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If you've driven an hour each way to a store with only the hope of finding a toy, you might be a toy collector.

If you've taken a sick day just to go on an all day toy run, you might be a toy collector.
 
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I thought it would be kind of fun to come up with various collector jokes in the comedic styling of Jeff Foxworthy.

I'll start off.

If you bought the same toy again because you forgot you already had it, you might be a toy collector.

If you eat your lunch at your desk because you used your entire lunch break to go toy hunting, you might be a toy collector.

If your diet consists mainly of Ramen noodles to save money for toys, you might be a toy collector.

All three of these hit the mark for me 😆
 
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If you hear voices of Egyptian Gods telling you to strike down the evil & wicked, often including long periods of time that you can't account for, memories that are not truly your's, often waking in unknown places covered in the blood of your enemies as you hear the screams of their children. Leaving nothing behind but the corpses of thousands of the unwashed, as other deities battle in a never ending chess games with the fate of the world in the balance tempting the destruction of existence itself....
you might be an avatar of Khonshu.

but if you have a doll action figure that does that stuff, you might be a toy collector.
 
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If you've ever walked into a store and walked out without buying anything -- you may be a toy collector.

If you've ever driven past your child's daycare and had to turn around because you were daydreaming about items you're hoping to buy - you may be a toy collector.

If you have a diorama displayed on top of a box that contains the empty boxes from the items in that diorama - you may be a toy collector.
 
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If you hesitated to give your friends/co-workers a ride because the back seat of your car has a bunch of toys...you might be a toy collector.

If you got up 2 hours early to hit a few stores before going into work...you might be a toy collector.
 
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If you've memorized all the different store layouts that exist for Walmart and Target, you might be a toy collector.

If you frequently use the garden section entrance at Walmart because it's a quicker route to the toy section, you might be a toy collector.

If you already know the answer to a stock question before asking the store clerk, you might be a toy collector.
 
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If you have bought a figure that you first bought twenty years ago, then sold, then repurchased because you regretted selling it, then used for a custom, then purchased for a third time cos you really needed a carded example, then bought a fourth time in a shop as a "backup carded version"......you might be a toy collector.
 
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If you hesitated to give your friends/co-workers a ride because the back seat of your car has a bunch of toys...you might be a toy collector.

If you got up 2 hours early to hit a few stores before going into work...you might be a toy collector.
I did both of those just this week!!!!
 
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If you've ever mapped out the most effective route to hit all the Targets and Walmarts on your way to a destination, you might be a toy collector.

If you've ever found a motherlode of figures at a store and filled your cart with them, only to buy a few extra unrelated items so it doesn't look like you came to the store just for figures, you might be a collector.
 
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If your heart actually palpitates when you see a Star Wars figure that's been misplaced on the wrong aisle and only luck and keen eye prevent a looooong exile in the Barbie section so you can "liberate" it to freedom on a shelf in your home......you might be a toy collector.

If you've ever "straightened up" the Star Wars figures by picking them up and putting them on the pegs yourself....you might be a toy collector.
 
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If you can precisely identify random plastic parts, you might be a toy collector.

If you've bought a toy not because you want it now, but because you think you might want it later, you might be a toy collector.

If your road trip takes twice as long because you keep stopping at every Walmart and Target along the way, you might be a toy collector.
 
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If you've ever had to give a presentation in another city and you spent more time researching the various toy stores within that city than you spent researching your presentation, you might be a toy collector.
If your idea of sightseeing on vacation is hitting up every comic/toy shop you can, you might be a toy collector.
adding to these:
If you've ever chosen a vacation destination based on a particular store then you may be a toy collector.

OR If you've ever gone to Disney and been more excited about the items you hope to purchase than any other attraction... you may be a toy collector.
 
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If you spend your allowance on action figures… when you’re in your 30s, you might be a toy collector.

If you’ve ever worn a Star Wars tie to a wedding, you might be a toy collector.

If if ever went to Toys R Us to buy Christmas gifts and only got things for yourself, you might be a toy collector.

If you avoid going to bars because you’d rather spend the money on action figures, you might be a toy collector.

If you skipped a New Years Eve party to take inventory of your Star Wars toys, you might be a toy collector.

If you’ve ever yelled at kids in the toy section of Walmart, you might be a toy collector.

If you own shirts that don’t fit but keep them because they have Darth Vader on them, you might be a toy collector.

If you know what “points of articulation” means, you might be a toy collector.

If you buy movie action figures before the movie is released, you might be a toy collector.

If you record Saturday Morning Cartoons strictly for the commercials, you might be a toy collector.

If “corner curio cabinet” means action figures instead of fine china, you might be a toy collector.

If you buy three of everything (one to open, one to display, and one just in case), you might be a toy collector.

If you know what “short saber, long tray” means, you might be a toy collector.

If you wince when a kid throws away packaging at a birthday party, you might be a toy collector.

If you’ve ever used a baby car seat to transport a 12” wookiee, you might be a toy collector.

If you refer to blondes and brunettes as “variants”, you might be a toy collector.

If the only accounts you follow on Twitter talk about action figures, you might be a toy collector.

If you’ve disowned friends because they sold their childhood toys, you might be a toy collector.

If your Amazon wish list consists only of shaving products and Princess Leia dolls, you might be a toy collector.

If “the one that got away” is an action figure and not a woman, you might be a toy collector.

If your favorite part of breakfast cereal is the packaging and the prize inside, you might be a toy collector.

If you spend more money on insuring things in your basement than on car insurance, you might be a toy collector.

If “each sold separately” is taken as a personal challenge, you might be a toy collector.

If any of your kids are named after super heroes, you might be a toy collector.

If you think there are more toys “in the back” of the store, you might be a toy collector.

If your Spider-man t-shirt doesn’t cover your gut, you might be a toy collector.

If your retirement account is an unopened case of talking Darth Vaders, you might be a toy collector.

If you’ve ever told one of your kids “if you don’t like your gift, you can give it to me”, you might be a toy collector.

If you’ve been told by a pawn shop employee that they can’t give you any money for your Yodas, you might be a toy collector.

If you actually managed to “Collect Them All”, you might be a toy collector.
 
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Posting for someone:

If you’ve ever been at Target buying toilet paper, found a figure hidden behind the rolls, grabbed it, and immediately texted your husband to ask if it is rare, you might be a toy collector’s wife.
 
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