One heck of a day...

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So I'm a pretty open person, I'm not really shy with sharing some personal things about myself. But I wanted some opinions on this:

Boy did I start my day great. So sometime last Saturday night I got a call from a random number. I don't answer random numbers as I assume they're telemarketers or bill collectors. The usual. If it's important, they'll leave a voicemail...right? I do, however, sometimes pop the number into a google search out of curiosity or text "Who is this?" and see if I get a response. So I sent that text, "Who is this?" No response. I moved on. Whatever, right?

But something stuck out about this number. So I looked more into it. Well long story short, I figured out it was my ex girlfriend. We broke up in October of last year. I'd long since deleted her number and former texts. So I texted her saying in essence, hey ah...I figured out who you are and ah...can you not? I figured she'd get the message. Translation: DON'T call me. That was that.

Well I wake up today, I've got a text from her ACCUSING ME of what's in essence PHONE STALKING her. She claims she's getting a ton of random number calls and when she answers they don't say anything and hang up. She accuses ME of this and apparently that's why she called me, to tell me to stop calling her.

Well newsflash: Whoever is calling her, well it ain't me. So I explain to her that, to which she begins to harass me, saying it could only be my "psycho crazy ***," etc. I tell her this is all rather comical to me as it's really not me, meaning either she's dun pissed off another person likely through more of her cheatings, schemes, and lying ways...(she certainly has a way with people) or it's indeed her who's crazy and just THINKS someone is phone stalking her when in reality it's probably just phone scammers. I mean, don't we ALL get calls like this? Yet she still harasses and accuses me. I'm a dude who can’t even log in to my email and she’s accusing me of some elaborate auto-dialer plot to annoy her?

I encourage her to go to the police if she really is concerned. I also inform her of multiple ways to figure stuff out as she often lacks common sense. I see after all these months, nothing changed there. I go through it all kind of mockingly but helpful if for NO other reason than just picturing her face when she discovers it's not me but rather some Pakistani dude named Habeeb at a call center designed to steal credit card numbers:

Google search the numbers, sometimes it can be that simple. Are they all my area code or from PA? Are they all from the SAME number and if not...does she really think I've bought multiple phones and/or changed my number a dozen or so times? Get real! And then I say, well...did you ask...or rather accuse...any of the OTHER MULTIPLE guys you've been with and screwed over in recent years? Did you ask your husband...you know, the one you cheated on?
😂
And lastly, again, just go to the police. They likely can figure it out. But no, instead of doing all that... she jumps the gun by making asinine assumptions about me. She thinks she's getting phone harassed by me and the first thing she does is phone harass me. That irony isn't lost to me, but probably is to her...
She wasn't exactly the brightest bulb.

...and then I just say it. What likely many of you have already thought. She was never the most honest soul. Of course, that's implying she has one.
Or maybe, maybe all this is bull****. Maybe you're just embarrassed I figured out it was you who called me. Maybe you just got nostalgic and instead of admitting why you called, you concocted some lie in which you didn't have to admit you made a likely drunken, late night, laps of judgement call to your ex boyfriend. I'm sure your new boyfriend would LOVE that. Maybe you got angry when you saw me text "Who is this?" You saw I deleted your number. I've moved on. Maybe you got angrier when I texted I figured out it was you and please don't call. Maybe it's easier for you to hurt and accuse me of something COMPLETELY made-up as to why you'd call me instead of confess you just called because you missed me. Because if someone really is "phone stalking" you, why didn't you: 1. Go to the cops? 2. Leave me a voicemail accusing me of this in the first place?

She progresses to tell me to just please stop constantly calling her and hanging up. I text back for the twelfth time, it's not me...and you're actually the one who called me. Oh the hypocrisy! To which she then texts that it doesn't matter because she's now "taking care of it" and will find out who it is soon enough. You know, instead of just doing that in the first place.

So I said that that's good. I'm glad to hear it. Good luck on your shadow caller conspiracy, I'll look for you at the next capitol riot. Tinfoil hats, unite! I wish you well...but very far away. Yes indeed, I'm the crazy one.

So I ask, what really just happened here? And two: am I actually the one who should file harassment charges and/or a PFA?
 
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Someone could have scraped her contacts list and you where still in there? If she's that dumb I'm guessing it wouldn't be a far stretch for her to get hacked in such a way. Got herself and all her contacts put on a telemarketing\spam\whatever list. One quick call to the cops and your phone records would show you where being honest. Trying to help a person not willing to help themselves is an ever loosing battle.
 
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I feel your pain. Years ago, I had a psycho-ex call and pretend to be a girl I had a crush on. I hadn't seen the crush in a while, their voices were similar enough, and the ex knew enough about the crush to keep up the act, so I didn't catch on at first. This went on for over two weeks, and some of the calls lasted a couple hours (this was way back in the analog days). I then ran into the crush while out one night. She had no clue what I was talking about. We ended up having a laugh about it. When "she" called the next day, I let her go on for a bit then finally told her I knew who it really was. She denied it at first, but when I told her I'd run into the actual crush the night before, she yelled, "**** you!" and slammed the phone down. Sadly, that's far from the worst or craziest thing she did (it's maybe 10th on the list).
 
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I text back for the twelfth time,

Yeah, well... that's the only important part here. I don't want to ruffle your feathers or anything, but it takes two to play these kind of doofus-games. Texting her once is a mistake and easy to forgive. Basically getting into a conversation with her is not - cause that means that, on some level, you enjoy the drama. How hard is it to walk away? To just tell her once "Look, whatever is going on, I have no part in it, I have moved on, I don't want you in any way involved in my life anymore, and if you contact me again, I'll go to the police and file a report to make sure that it stays that way." and then to just not react to anything she does anymore?
 
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Yeah, well... that's the only important part here. I don't want to ruffle your feathers or anything, but it takes two to play these kind of doofus-games. Texting her once is a mistake and easy to forgive. Basically getting into a conversation with her is not - cause that means that, on some level, you enjoy the drama. How hard is it to walk away? To just tell her once "Look, whatever is going on, I have no part in it, I have moved on, I don't want you in any way involved in my life anymore, and if you contact me again, I'll go to the police and file a report to make sure that it stays that way." and then to just not react to anything she does anymore?


No that's fair, but you have to keep in mind, what I mean by that wasn't that I literally texted 12 times, but rather that I wrote "It's not me" around 12 times within a couple texts (I had to keep reiterating that because she kept saying it had to be me) in comparison to her 20 something text bombardment of accusations. She blew my phone up.

I feel your pain. Years ago, I had a psycho-ex call and pretend to be a girl I had a crush on. I hadn't seen the crush in a while, their voices were similar enough, and the ex knew enough about the crush to keep up the act, so I didn't catch on at first. This went on for over two weeks, and some of the calls lasted a couple hours (this was way back in the analog days). I then ran into the crush while out one night. She had no clue what I was talking about. We ended up having a laugh about it. When "she" called the next day, I let her go on for a bit then finally told her I knew who it really was. She denied it at first, but when I told her I'd run into the actual crush the night before, she yelled, "**** you!" and slammed the phone down. Sadly, that's far from the worst or craziest thing she did (it's maybe 10th on the list).

MAN! We sure can pick um, eh? LMFAO!

HOLY crap, dude. That's INSANE! SCARY even on top of just kinda evil. I'm so sorry that happened. Plus back in those analog days, it was so much easier to do with a phone too. Dude you got what the kids now call "Catfished." It's when someone pretends to be someone else in a prior-to-meeting romantic scenario. It happens all the time online. I actually saw a rather fascinating documentary on a young filmmaker who got hardcore catfished and decided to turn it into one of his films. Here's what I've NEVER understood. What exactly do they think is going to happen? Obviously they can't keep it up forever, you can't ACTUALLY date or meet-up, because they're NOT them. I've never understood what they think is going to happen. Do they really think that when you discover 28 year old redhead bombshell Rebecca is actually a 56 year old obese man named Gus, you'll say "Well we had such a connection though..." and start a relationship? LMFAO! It's rather pathetic.

I have an update on my scenario that's rather...unpleasant. So it hit me, I actually SAW my ex driving by last week. I was outside on my porch and saw her. Now I didn't mention this prior because frankly, I thought it not a big deal. Why? Because a good friend of hers lives RIGHT down the street from me and to get there she HAS to drive by my place. So I always assumed, well I'll likely bump into her at SOME point. Heck, my ex and I used to go over to that friends and play Uno. But out of curiosity, I wrote that mutual friend. Turns out, she hasn't seen my ex in months. So...boy it sounds like she's the one stalking ME.
 
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First of all, MysterioMaximus - sorry this happened to you. Not sure if this will help explain what happened here, but I also had something similar & strange happen with my work phone # in the past year:

At least twice while @ work (about 7-8 months apart), I got a call from someone claiming I had called them from my work # - and I'm 100% sure I hadn't called them. I denied it, and they kept insisting that I had called. This was never resolved. But, I suspect that somehow my phone # got "hacked/cloned" somehow and a robo-caller?! was calling the person from what looked like was my specific phone #, but wasn't.

Not sure how much this will help, but it is good to know that this is not unheard of. Here's one of many articles with more info.:


Someone could have scraped her contacts list and you where still in there? If she's that dumb I'm guessing it wouldn't be a far stretch for her to get hacked in such a way. Got herself and all her contacts put on a telemarketing\spam\whatever list.

Agreed.
 
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It's interesting you mention this because ever since I was included in a caller group with my sister and her friends I have been inundated with spam calls the likes of which I've never experienced before, so much so that I've contemplated getting a totally new number. Though I guess that wouldn't even help with so much spam calls these days, it's just annoying that 99% of my calls are junk so that when an important one actually does happen I'll never know until the voicemail! it's especially annoying because some of them are my exact area code and prefix.

You would think that she would assume you aren't the one calling her since she was likely being called by numerous other numbers as well. I mean I've been called by my one number for goodness sake, and my first thought wasn't calling the police because I'm harassing myself. lol

It's unfortunate you had to go through such an ordeal over a something completely out of your control.
 
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Her driving by is a bit on the scary side. In my situation, it was a bizarre attempt to rekindle our relationship. Her friends and family had been campaigning with both of us to try to get me to take her back, and for her to come back to me to stop her from the utterly insane, self-destructive things she had been doing. I had no intention of it, partly because of how nuts she was when I was seeing her, but also because of those things she'd been doing since (incurable infections aren't my bag, baby). They kept it up for a while after that, and several weeks later, I started getting hangup calls a few times each week (I'd say hello, get 2-3 seconds of silence, then the hangup). That didn't end until I said hello to her by name on the last call. She tried hooking up with me again shortly after she got engaged, then once more after she got married. She was nutty as a fruitcake.
 
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