Changing the plot: What if ...?

G

Guest

(lightsaber hum)

mace: this party is over!

(mace lost his balace and end up decapitain jango fett)

Mace: Oh S**t! Oh well, at least i won't have to chase this bad mofo now.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BOAB FETT: Dad! look out! he behind us
Jango fett : jez boba! shut the hell up! who doing the flying? me or you?

Boba: Does it matter? I'm a unalter clone of you. So why you ask?

==================================================

dooku: ahh, yoda!

yoda: dooku!

Dooku: you cannot beat me! I have the skill of the lightsaber!

Yoda: judge size by me?

Dooku: huh?

Yoda: judge....size ..by ....me?

Dooku: ??? whaa...?

Yoda: mind-never.

Dooku: whatever, let just fight.

==================================================

(padme and the clone trooper gets up after they fell out of the gunship)

CLone: you ok?

PAdme: yeah!

CLone: We must go back to the frontline.

padme: NO! no! Get everyone you can! we must go to the hangar!

CLone: no! how abou WE go back to the frontline!?

PAdme: hey listen! YOU are gonna do what i said! ok?!?!?! you're not the boss of me!

Clone: ok B***h , you done it now!

( it start to rain on genosios, and it start to get muddy, the clone and pame are having a mud fight)

==================================================

boba : dad, look out!

jango: boba get inside now!

(light saber humming)

(jango shooting at obi wan)

( obi wan avioded jango's blaster)

( jango flied away,and shoot his missle at kenobi)

(the blast wave is so strong that it pushed obi wan off the platform)

Jango: all too easy.

==================================================

boba: daaaad, taun we here.

Jango: what she want?DO i have another job to catch a bounty? Oh sH*t!

obi wan: so you're the bounty hunter i'm looking for! PLEasure to meet you, by the way, i am impessive on how you killed zam wessle with the small kamino dart from a very far distance.

==================================================

poda baba: urkkkr gurrr graaa

dr:even: he said he don't like you!, I don't like you either! So it best for you to watch yourself! WE wanted men! we have the 12 death sentence in the system!

luke: ok, i'll be careful!

dr: even: you'll be dead!

OBi wan: ( drunken) hey you! leave the boy along! he want no deathstick! ( wave hand) "i will go home and rethink my life!"

dr: even: what the hell you talking about!? hey ponda, get em!

obi wan: uh oh! anakin! zam is behind me! ( light saber hum) ( slice off ponda's arm)

ponda: argggggggggggggggggg!

luke: what that all about?

obi wan: flashabck.

==================================================

Anakin: hey pilot! shoot down dooku !

clone: we can't, we were told not to kill dooku, our mission is to protect him.

clone#2: you idiot! now we must commit suicide .( crashed the ship)

==================================================

nexu: (growl)

padme climbed up the pillar)

( nexu ripped off al of padme's clothes)

padme: ahhh!


Anakin:eek:h la la!

obi wan: anakin, pay attention!

dooku: jango, could you please despoist of padme?

jango: sure!( jango flied away, used the grapple rope and pulled padme away)

==================================================

( all of the senators walked into palpatine's officer along with the jedi, jar jar tripped over yoda)

jar jar: oops! mesa my bad!

yoda: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! ( lightsaber humming)

(killed jar jar)

jar jar: arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

anakin: yay! that what you get for hugging me you b*t*h!

[ 03-02-2003, 07:57 AM: Message edited by: Jango Pesci ]
 
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Threepio: Thats odd. The damage doesn't look as bad from down here. Are you sure this thing is safe?

Artoo: Beep beep(Meaning yes).

The escape pod blows up in the atmosphere of Tatooine.

-------------

Qui-Gon: He can see things before they happen. It is a Jedi trait. Had he been born into the Republic we could have identified him. Who was the father?

Shmi: You don't remember that magical night?
 
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Anakin and Padme are standing in the cart, waiting to be taken to the Arena...

Anakin: Don't be afraid.

Padme: I'm not afraid to die....I've been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life...

Anakin: *gives Padme a confused look*

Padme: Don't look at me like that! You know exactly what i'm taking about! For 10 years nothing bad had ever happened to me! Then i meet up with you again, and all of the sudden I've got poisonous centipedes in my bed, bombs in my spaceships, I was left in the desert with 3 hillbillies, and oh yes, i was almost scalded to death by hot molten steel, and now i'm going to be torn to shreds by weird creatures!!!

Anakin: I want to be in your bed too...

Padme: I'm pushing you in front of one of the creatures in a few minutes.

Anakin: I'm sorry what was that? i was thinking of being in bed with you...

Padme: You'll find out soon, ya little pervert.
 
G

Guest

got more.

==================================================

(anakin stop the speeder and jumped out to catch zam but only to hit another speeder that goes another direction)

==================================================

esipode 1:

( the battle driods are deploying from the mtt in the naboo battle field)

jar jar: waitsa, waitsa, go. oopse!

( all of the gungan goes after the deploying driods and all gets killed in a matter of 10 second)

jar jar: my bad bad

( and jar jar gets promoted to boss of the gungan city for his stupidty act)

==================================================

esipode 1 :

qui gon, padme and jar jar arrive at mos espa , tattoine)

jar jar: icky poo poo! mesa step on doo doo!

(everyone, included qui gon and padme laugh at jar jar)
==================================================

esipode 2 :

( all of the clones are getting their helmets )

clone #1 : what we doing?

clone#2: we're getting our helmets

#1: huh? i though we ere going bowling.

clone#2: nooooooooo! you idiot!

==================================================

all of orignal triology:

( the stormtroopers s not very accurate at shooting, now instea dof the troopers, the rebels as well cannot shoot either)

( and the battle and conflict goes on without anyone dying, )

==================================================

stormtrooper#1: blast em!

(shooting occur)

( all the rebels don't get killed)

solo: hahahaha, white men can't shoot! uhhh i mean men in white suit can't shoot

==================================================

a new hope:

han: get in there will ya! i don;t care what you smell!.........ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! ( jumped into chute)

han : what incrediable smell you discovered!

leia: really? i'm wearing women adidas perfume.

==================================================

[ 12-10-2002, 09:34 PM: Message edited by: master jango ]
 
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Jar Jar has his hand stuck in the podracer's engine:

Jar Jar: Hep me, mesa stucko, anden mesa tung numbo, hep me.

Qui-Gon: Anakin, we shall now see if it works.

Anakin starts the racer, and Jar Jar is pulled into the engine and is shredded to pieces.
 
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Anakin: You haven't changed a bit. You are exactly the way I remember you in my dreams.

Padme: Dreams?

Anakin: Yeah, ther are a lot of 'em. My personal favorite is the one where I show you my lightsaber and take you over to the dark side.

 
G

Guest

Originally posted by Slave_531:
ESB: Lando, Han, Leia and Chewie enter the dining room only to find Darth Vader. Han shoots at Vader, but when Vader Force pulls Han's blaster, it hits him in the head, causing him to fall, thus ruining his entire plan.

AOTC: Lama Su: Magnificent, aren't they?(Looking at the clones, all lined up in one huge curvy line. Obi Wan uses the force to trip the last clone, causing all of the clones to fall like dominoes.)
Obi Wan: Now I know why that one troop will bang his head on the Death Star's door.
<font size="2" face="arial">from here?

 
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Originally posted by micsn:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="arial">Originally posted by Slave_531:
ESB: Lando, Han, Leia and Chewie enter the dining room only to find Darth Vader. Han shoots at Vader, but when Vader Force pulls Han's blaster, it hits him in the head, causing him to fall, thus ruining his entire plan.

AOTC: Lama Su: Magnificent, aren't they?(Looking at the clones, all lined up in one huge curvy line. Obi Wan uses the force to trip the last clone, causing all of the clones to fall like dominoes.)
Obi Wan: Now I know why that one troop will bang his head on the Death Star's door.
<font size="2" face="arial">from here?

</font>[/QUOTE]<font size="2" face="arial">Yeah, but I changed it up a bit so it wouldn't be plagerizing.
 
G

Guest

OK, first of all, Master Jango? Get yourself a grammar textbook and read it before making your next post.

what if when Coleman went to attack Dooku, Jango yelled, "you did NOT pay me enough," and let Dooku (and himself) get killed?
 
G

Guest

Originally posted by Jitt Misto:
OK, first of all, Master Jango? Get yourself a grammar textbook and read it before making your next post.

what if when Coleman went to attack Dooku, Jango yelled, "you did NOT pay me enough," and let Dooku (and himself) get killed?
<font size="2" face="arial">
hey!!!!!!!!!!!

IT not my fault that my grammers are bad! I only have bad grammar when I chat on the computer since I don't pay attention to my grammars as i type and since my keyboard are not working properly! OK!

btw , why the hell would jango and dooku get kill? Give us a reason why they would die!

And if you did understood what i have said, then shut up!!!


[ 12-10-2002, 09:30 PM: Message edited by: master jango ]
 
G

Guest

dooku: ahhh yoda.

frodo: i'm not yoda! I'm frodo the hobbit!

dooku: huh? this isn't geonosion?

frodo: no, this is middle earth, and who are you, and why you look like saruman the white?

dooku: well, i am count dooku and the reason why i look like saruman is because I played saurman in lotr and in star wars i played count dooku and it appear i'm getting old and losing my memory, so therefore, I've forgotten to chance outfit for the lotr movie set.

frodo: oh, that explained.

==================================================

rotj:

( Han is sneaking up behind the biker scout and step on a large piece of branch, the branch then goes up and smack han right on his face)

==================================================

rotj:

3p0: ohhhhhhhh my! leia!!!!!!!!!

leia: shhhhhhhhh! they'll hear us!

han: too late:

scout trooper: get up! you all under arrest! come on! move it!

==================================================

esb:

( han's vest is off at this time)

leia: i love you!

han: i know.

( han is then being lower into the carbinte chamber and the vest magically appeared)

:(later in rotj at jabba palace)

( leia is thawing solo out of the carbinite)

leia( speaking boussh)

han: I' can't see! who are you?

leia: someone you love.

han: leia!

leia: han! what happened to your vest?

han: ohh it appeared george lucas made a mistake.

leia: oh.
==================================================

rotj:

han: boba fett? boba fett? where?

boba: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (thinking) : this suck! first my father get decapitated and now i get knock off the barge by a blind guy!

==================================================

esb:

( han and his company are entering the astriod feild)

3p0: sir the odd of surviving the astriod feild is 3,920 to 1!

han: never tell me the od- ( the astriod then smash into the falcon)

==================================================

esb:

( luke and vader are dueling toward the end of the walkway)

( luke loses his hand)

luke: arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

vader: ohhhhh shut up! i cannot belive my own son is whining!

luke: huh? what you mean " my own son"?

vader: ohhh damn! now i have to explain! ok , obi wan never told you the truth about what happen to your father!

luke: he told me enough, he told me you killed him!

vader: no, i am your father!

luke! noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

vadeR: jeeez! shut up! why you have to cry like that?!!? No wonder obi wan wanted to die! So he don;t have to put up with your b.s!

luke! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Don't scream at me like that! ( bawl)

vader: shuuuuuuuuut up! know what, just jump off, ok? your sister will save you!

luke: sister?

vader: yeah, leia! she your sister.

luke: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, and i kissed her at hoth! that disgusting! waaaaaaaaaaaaa!

vader: ( thinking) I can't take this crap anymore!

(sliced off the walkway that luke was on)

luke: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh( scream fade away)

vader: thank god!

==================================================

[ 12-10-2002, 03:19 PM: Message edited by: master jango ]
 
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I liked your last one, Master Jango, pretty funny.

AOTC:

Dooku: "Hundreds of senators are now under the influence of a Sith Lord called Darth Sidious."

Obi-Wan: (singing) "Come what may, come what may..."
 
G

Guest

Scene 1
Obi Wan: "Qui Gon Jinn would never join you."
Dooku: "Yeah, I guess your right"

Scene 2
Padme: "Corde! No!"
Corde: "I have failed you M'Lady..."
Padme: "And that was my favorite decoy dress!"

Scene 3
Taun We: Boba is your father here?
Boba: Nope.
Taun We: OK...then, uh...

Scene 4
Stormtrooper: "The plans are not in the main computer"
Vader: Oh well, we tried, release the ship!

Scene 5
C-3PO: Hello, I am C...
Anakin: 3PO?
C-3PO: No, C-T14.

And last but not least:
Scene 6
Anakin: "Hello Watto, wheres my mother?"
Watto: "I sold her."
Anakin: "You sold her? To who?"
Watto: "A group of Tuskin Raiders."
Anakin: "Thanks."
 
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You crack me up! My favorite ones are scenes 2, 5, and 6, but especially the Tusken Raider one. That's awsome.
 
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Palpatine: "I will talk with her. Senator Amidala will not refuse an executive order. I know her well enough to assure you that."

Anakin: "Really? How well do you know her."

Palpatine: "Very well. And as I said, she never refuses any of my 'executive' orders."

Anakin: "So you two are very close then."

Palpatine: "Yes, VERY close. But we prefer to keep it a secret."

Anakin: (Dissapointed) "I see." (To himself: "Oh well... I wonder what Dorme thinks of me. She's hot.")
 
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Beru: Where are you going?

Luke: Looks like I'm going nowhere. I'm gonna go finish cleaning those droids.

Beru: Owen, he can't stay here forever, most of his friends have already gone. He has too much of his father in him.

Owen: <Sigh> Who do I make the check out to?
 
G

Guest

( in the garage in aotc)

anakin: I hate obi wan! It all his fault! ( throw something at the landspeeder, the landspeeder then start up and crashed into some kind of scrape of junks )

anakin: Ohhh sh*t!
 
G

Guest

Your quote is all wrong. Try to view the Seinfeld episode again, then "requote".
 
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Threepio has just seen the droid factory on Geonosis...

3PO: Shut me down! Machines creating machines.

Artoo bumps into him.

3PO: Artoo, what the- you will get your turn.

Artoo bumps him again, only 3PO bumps his butt into Atroo's front light socket thingy. This goes on for several seconds.

3PO: Artoo, I never knew we had such feelings for each other! Lets go to the ship's bedroom.

Artoo and Threepio walk back to the ship, as Padme is melted by lava, while Anakin is killed by the machines.
 
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Here is the one I use over at MOSWC.com as my signature.

Mace: This party's over!

Nute: NO! We just tapped another keg!
 
G

Guest

Originally posted by EliYAHOO14:
Your quote is all wrong. Try to view the Seinfeld episode again, then "requote".
<font size="2" face="arial">Yeah, I just watched that episode last week! I know it all wrong but I forgot how it went. It be much easier if "seinfeld" came out on d.v.d
 

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Yoda: He is too old. Yes. Too old to begin the training.

Luke: But I've learned so much.

Yoda: Uh, no. Your sister maybe (hottie, she is), but no training will I give you.

Luke: Sister!?!

[ 12-18-2002, 08:46 PM: Message edited by: Dave ]
 
G

Guest

Eh, thats not so good... I mean it started out right but it should've ended that he agrees not to train or something.
 
G

Guest

Darth maul runs Qui-Gon through.....

Obi-Wan: Noooooo!!! FATHERRRR!!!!

Maul: Oh...(blushing)sorry...I...uh....didn't know....

Obi: well....since you are sorry....I guess I'll let you live. Hey! I got an idea!!! let's pretend that you are dead and have your master train this kid we picked up on Tatooine! how about it?

Maul accepts which leads to the creation of Darth vader and the empire...

 
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Obi Wan: It is great to see you again, M'lady.

Padme: It is nice to see you too. However, wasn't your apprentice coming with you?

Obi Wan: Oh, yes, about that...

(A rumbling is heard as a Fat B@st@rd looking Anakin comes into the apartment. His stomach pushes Jar Jar out the window.)

Padme: Annie?

Anakin: Come on, lets go fiddle with ourselves.

Padme: Yuck! Gross!

Anakin: But I'm dead sexy!

(Padme and Obi Wan leave as Anakin pulls out a Subway sandwich and begins copying Jared.)
 
G

Guest

Originally posted by Slave_531:
Obi Wan: It is great to see you again, M'lady.

Padme: It is nice to see you too. However, wasn't your apprentice coming with you?

Obi Wan: Oh, yes, about that...

(A rumbling is heard as a Fat B@st@rd looking Anakin comes into the apartment. His stomach pushes Jar Jar out the window.)

Padme: Annie?

Anakin: Come on, lets go fiddle with ourselves.

Padme: Yuck! Gross!

Anakin: But I'm dead sexy!

(Padme and Obi Wan leave as Anakin pulls out a Subway sandwich and begins copying Jared.)
<font size="2" face="arial">That isn't funny....that's gross.
 
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Someone knocks at Shmi's door on Tatooine.
Shmi: "Hello. Who is it?"
Voice outside: "Shmi Skywalker?"
Shmi: "Yes. May I help you?"

The door opens abruptly.
We see a red dot on Shmi's forehead.

Voice: "I'm here to prevent the birth of your son and the destruccion of the jedi."

Bamm!!!!!!!

Shmi is no more.

(Star Wars meets Terminator)
 
G

Guest

Episode one. Obi is running toward Qui-gon and Maul as they fight in the energy beam hallway. The door closes just as he reaches it.....He reallizes that he should've used his super friction shoes as he goes sliding to his death....

************************************************

Episode 6.

Leia: we have...powerful friends...you're gonna regret this!

Jabba: Whochoocha nag!

Leia: What?

C-3P0: The great jabba the hut offers you 35...and I do suggest you take it.

Leia: What for?

Jabba: Whochoocha nag!

C-3P0 Whacks jabba: Cmon...stupid machine.....I paid soo much for this so that I could take over the universe....um...oops....
The real culprit of SW is revealed....

***************************************
Whadaya think?
 
G

Guest

E.S.B (at the end of the walkway in bespin where vader and luke duel)

:vader and luke are dueling and Vader gets his hand cut off instead of luke)

Vader: (cry out)

Luke: ha! I guess I can beat yo a**!

Vader: Luke, why you do that?

Luke: Why? Why! WHy ?!?! Because you killed my father. That why!

Vader: But luke, has obi wan told you what happen to your father?

Luke: I just said that you killed my father.

Vader: that what obi wan said?

Luke: yes.

Vader:(to himself) That lying son of a b*tch! Anyway, no , Luke, I did not kill your father, I am your father!

Luke: whaaaa!? Nooooooooooooooooooo! (sobbing) That not true! That not truuuuuuuuuuue! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Vader: ohhhhhh shut upppppppppp!

Luke: Stop screaming at me! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!! Waaaaaa haaaaaaaaa!

Vader: Stop, I can't take it anymore!!! (vader than climb over the rail and jumped off)

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

(in the falcon)

Leia: Stop! Turn around! There someone in trouble! I feel it!

Lando: But I can't! What about Vader?!?

Chewie: arggggg!

Lando: ok, ok!

(screen changed to vader)
(Vader is hanging off the antenna outside of the city )

Lando: (looked up) ohhhhh shhh*t! What the f**k you're doing here?

Vader: Help me!

Lando: and why should I do that , fool!
(start to choke from vader's force grip)

Vader: that why!

Lando: ok,ok,ok!

(screen changes to luke)

Luke: (Walking in a hallway full of storm troopers, sobbing) waaa ha ha ha ha , whyyyyyyyy!?

( all the troopers shoot at luke)

Luke: owwwww! wahaahahahaha stop shootign at me ! I 've had a bad day!

Stormtrooper#1: ohhhhhhhh shut up! (killed luke)
 
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"I was wrong there was no danger for the senator"-Typhoo

The senatorial cruiser explodes.

Typhoo-"Ha I was right"
 
G

Guest

Originally posted by bobafett258:
"I was wrong there was no danger for the senator"-Typhoo

The senatorial cruiser explodes.

Typhoo-"Ha I was right"
<font size="2" face="arial">and this would change.......what?
 
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(At the Diner)
Dexter: "Obi-Wan!"
Obi-Wan: "Hello, Dex."
Dexter: "Wait there, I'll be right with ya."

Voice: (speaking to Obi-Wan) "Hey McFly!! I thought I told you never to come in here."

Ewan: "It's MacGregor, sir. Do I know you?"
Voice: "Oops, my bad."
 
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Luke to Yoda on Dagobah:
"I won't fail you. I'm not afraid."

Yoda: "Oh, you will be. You will be."

(Luke gets very scared by what Yoda says.)

Ben's voice: "Oh, Yoda, please, stop teasing the kid. You're going to scare him away."

Luke: "There, there!!! I heard it again. It's a ghost, A GHOST!!!"

(Luke runs away screaming.)

Ben's voice: "You and your silly jokes, Master Yoda. There goes our last hope."

Yoda: "Oh, worry not, Obi-Wan. There is another."
 
G

Guest

Originally posted by r2d2_26:
Luke to Yoda on Dagobah:
"I won't fail you. I'm not afraid."

Yoda: "Oh, you will be. You will be."

(Luke gets very scared by what Yoda says.)

Ben's voice: "Oh, Yoda, please, stop teasing the kid. You're going to scare him away."

Luke: "There, there!!! I heard it again. It's a ghost, A GHOST!!!"

(Luke runs away screaming.)

Ben's voice: "You and your silly jokes, Master Yoda. There goes our last hope."

Yoda: "Oh, worry not, Obi-Wan. There is another."
<font size="2" face="arial">lolololololol
classic....
 
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ESB

imperial officer: "Captain, Lord Vader demands an update on the pursuit."

Captain: "Get the shuttle ready. I shall assume full responsibility to loosing them and apologize to Lord Vader. Meanwhile, continue to scan the area."

officer: "Yes, captain" (thinking: "You are dead meat.")

After the captain leaves...

officer: "Ok, guys, who wants to be the new captain?"

voices: "Not, me, not me."
 
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