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Thread: Did your ex permanently ruin a song for you?

  1. #1

    Did your ex permanently ruin a song for you?

    Interesting article. I was thinking about this exact thing after what I posted about the "You Oughtta Know" chick in the 90s thread. So, have any of you had a song, movie, TV show, book or whatever permanently ruined for you by your experiences with an ex?

    I absolutely did. I don't what to mention which song because anyone who knows me has heard the story a million times and would know exactly who I am just by reading it. Suffice to say, there was a song I loved back in high school and college. It never had any particular meaning for me at first; it was just an awesome song that I'd crank up whenever it came on the radio, then sing along to at the top of my lungs. I started seeing Wendy in late '91. She loved the artist and the song, and it became "our" song. I'd sing it to her in the car, at parties, karaoke, etc. It was on every mixtape I made for her. Then she went nuts. She was horrid. Unbelievably horrid. And that's not hyperbole. Friends of mine stayed friends with her after the breakup because the way she treated me was so nefariously unbelievable that almost everything thought I was making it up. She was a real psycho.

    As our relationship crumbled into its tragically horrific last legs, I started seeing a lot of our relationship in that song. It's not about a psycho but it is about a failed relationship that left a guy crushed. It nagged at me for a while but then one weekend I went camping with some friends. I had polished off a liter of Beam (again, not hyperbole) and was in the middle of burning all my gifts and keepsakes from her in the campfire when that song came on (naturally, from one of my mixtapes). It suddenly hit me--I was that guy, and that song was, in a way, all about me. I nearly threw my boom box into the fire but Jeff grabbed me and talked me into just tossing in the mixtape. Unfortunately, it was on quite a few other mixtapes. I was something of a mixtape guru and I had loads of them.

    I didn't hate the song at first. In fact, I initially felt a bit of shame whenever it came on, and then for a while it was cathartic. It became something of an anthem for me. Then I saw her again and she started doing a bunch of really crazy stuff that caused some huge problems for me. The very next time I heard the song, the hatred kicked in. I despised it. I threw out my remaining mixtapes with it on there and the CD I took it from. Anytime it came on the radio, I'd turn the station, even if it wasn't my car.

    As luck would have it, my wife loves the song. I was gradually able to temper my reaction to it, but I still hate the song. The opening strains fill me with self-loathing, anger and all sorts of negative feelings about my ex, which is funny because I see her semi-regularly and I can actually have a civil conversation with her. She's an awful person but I don't hold any grudges and I can deal with her as a person, but whenever I hear that song I'm ripped back to the fall of '92 and I'm watching her licking some other guy's tonsils while sitting on another guy's lap before wandering off with yet a third guy, and all that hatred just erupts to the surface.

  2. #2
    About ten years ago a relationship I was in was falling apart but we were living together. I think she had already started seeing someone else. She started listening to "Midnight at the Oasis" by Maria Muldaur all the time. I wasn't even familiar with the song at the time but because of my bitterness towards her I absolutely hated it. Years later I come to find out I really like the rest of that album. It's a great folk/rock record! But I still struggle with that one song. I will forever associate it with bad times.

  3. #3
    Whenever I was out with. my girl and we would randomly hear Linger by The Cranberries in a mall or restaurant or something, we would break up at the end of the night. Happened 3 times straight over a 4 year period. Like a damn omen. To this day I loathe that song.
    Last edited by Lobotscomb; 02-16-2019 at 07:40 AM.

  4. #4
    Not ruin, but definitely reminds me of her whenever I hear them. Luckily it's only a couple.
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  5. #5
    im not sure any ruined either. but there is definitely a small hand full of songs that always instantly remind me of certain exes. and some of them remind me of them in all the bad memories sort of ways. but i still like the songs.

  6. #6
    Yes. I can never enjoy Photograph by Def Leppard ever again. Basically, the final nail in our relationship was the night of a Def Leppard concert we were both at separately. The hammer strike text came in during that song.
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  7. #7
    Pretty much all of my girlfriends had a "theme song" that I remember them by. Usually some song that I really liked at the time, or some CD we listened to when we were together. Most of my relationships ended without too much drama, but there's a couple where the ex turned into a psycho whack job after it was over. After a few years, I the bad memories fade away and I can enjoy the song again and just think about the good times.
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  8. #8
    Nah. I'm old enough now that any songs that conjure up emotions from relationships past, are positive. Even with my worst ex the good times far outweighed the bad, and the good is all I remember any more. In short, there's a lot of songs that make me smile.
    You know that little voice in your head? My wife says I lack that.

  9. #9
    I can't relate.

    I have no exes. I'm still working on my first relationship.

    in fact, I just celebrated my 33rd Valentine's day..

    ..with the same girl
    .

    FWIW her self-chosen theme song is Stairway to Heaven.

    (because they always used it as a finale to close out our highschool dances in the 1980's , she associates it with 'good times').
    "Is there anyone on this ship, who even remotely, looks like Satan?" -- James Kirk, U.S.S. Enterprise.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Cobalt60 View Post
    I can't relate.

    I have no exes. I'm still working on my first relationship.

    in fact, I just celebrated my 33rd Valentine's day..

    ..with the same girl
    .

    FWIW her self-chosen theme song is Stairway to Heaven.

    (because they always used it as a finale to close out our highschool dances in the 1980's , she associates it with 'good times').
    ...ok, well... thanks for dropping by.

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