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Thread: Star Wars Screenplay Daily Reading

  1. #21
    I tended to view the Imperial gunners as the first danger the droids had to overcome in their perilous journey. To me, that conversation between them was kind of like a suspense builder. It's kind of like GL teasing, "OMG, what would have SW turned out if the droids got shot down then and there?" (Hey, there's another Infinities idea, OK nevermind! )
    A special effect without a story is a pretty boring thing. -George Lucas

  2. #22

    Star Wars Daily Screenplay Reading -- DAY 10

    754 views...we are getting views for sure, where's the posts..?

    Heat waves radiate from the dozen or so bleached white
    buildings. Luke pilots his Landspeeder through the dusty
    empty street of the tiny settlement. An old woman runs to
    get out of the way of the speeding vehicle, shaking her fist
    at Luke as he flies past.

    I've told you kids to slow down!


    Luke bursts into the power station, waking The Fixer, a rugged
    mechanic and Camie, a ****, disheveled girl who has been
    asleep in his lap. They grumbled as he races through the
    office, yelling wildly.

    Did I hear a young noise blast through

    It was just wormie on another rampage.

    Luke bounces into a small room behind the office where Deak
    and Windy, two tough boys about the same age as Luke, are
    playing a computer pool-like game with Biggs, a burly,
    handsome boy a few years older than the rest. His flashy
    city attire is a sharp contrast to the loose-fitting tunics
    of the farm boys. A robot repairs some equipment in the

    Shape it up you guys!... Biggs?

    Luke's surprise at the appearance of Biggs gives way to great
    joy and emotion. They give each other a great bear hug.

    I didn't know you were back! When
    did you get in?

    Just now. I wanted to surprise you,
    hot shot. I thought you'd be here...
    certainly didn't expect you to be
    out working.
    (he laughs)

    The Academy didn't change you
    much...but you're back so soon? Hey,
    what happened, didn't you get your

    Biggs has an air of cool that seems slightly phony.

    Of course I got it. Signed aboard
    The Rand Ecliptic last week. First
    mate Biggs Darklighter at your
    (he salutes)
    ...I just came to say good-bye to
    all you unfortunate landlocked

    Everyone laughs. The dazzling spectacle of his dashing friend
    is almost too much for Luke, but suddenly he snaps out of

    I almost forgot. There's a battle
    going on! Right here in our system.
    Come and look!

    Not again! Forget it.

    I could write pages about my relationship with the "cut scenes" from Anchorhead. Suffice it to say I remember the above picture from the "Star Wars Storybook" I had before I could read, and I remember hearing it on the radio drama during the first broadcasts (with Adam Arkin's voice as Fixer), so to me it is a part of the film, albeit skipped over every time I watch it.

    The scene is fine and gives some wrinkles to Luke's development as a character. In the filmic version, Luke starts as a lonely kid cut off from his friends by his oppressive Uncle, longing for adventure. In the scripted version, that changes slightly to a social outcast whose too optimistic outlook is ridiculed by his peers. You can almost see where Uncle Owen's reluctance to let Luke hang out with these people comes from: they really are of no worth to him as a social group, and in fact in the long run could eventually drag him right down with them.

    More tomorrow...

  3. #23

    Star Wars Daily Screenplay Reading -- DAY 11

    816 Views...and I even lost a Deak comment this time. Okay, so I'm talking to myself here...

    Continuing on...


    The group stumbles out into the stifling desert sun. Camie
    and The Fixer complain and are forced to shade their eyes.
    Luke has his binoculars out scanning the heavens.

    There they are!

    Biggs takes the binoculars from Luke as the others strain to
    see something with the naked eye. Through the binoculars
    Biggs sees two small silver specks.

    That's no battle, hot shot... they're
    just sitting there! Probably a
    freighter-tanker refueling.

    But there was a lot of firing

    Camie grabs the binoculars away banging them against the
    building in the process. Luke grabs them.

    Hey, easy with those...

    Don't worry about it, Wormie.

    The Fixer gives Luke a hard look and the young farm boy shrugs
    his shoulders in resignation.

    I keep telling you, the Rebellion is
    a long way from here. I doubt if the
    Empire would even fight to keep this
    system. Believe me Luke, this planet
    is a big hunk of nothing...

    Luke agrees, although it's obvious he isn't sure why. The
    group stumbles back into the power station, grumbling about
    Luke's ineptitude.

    "Grumbling about Luke's ineptitude." It's no wonder once his Aunt and Uncle are gone Luke says "There's nothing for me here now" even though this world is all he's ever known. He has always been the outcast in his peer group, probably because he was above-average and the consensus hates the superior.

    This scene contains a reference to spaceships refueling! Just yesterday I was arguing elsewhere about the absence of hyperfuel in Star Wars until The Last Jedi and Solo, yet here (albeit in a cut-scene) Biggs dissmisses the big ships in orbit as "probably refueling." It's funny how synchronicity works sometimes.

    So all in all, I would say these last two scenes do help build the Luke character, but I also like the flow of the filmed version letting the droids bring us to the character. We get a lot of (unnamed in the dialogue) characters who immediately disappear from the story, Biggs who we are not quite done with yet.

    See you tomorrow...

  4. #24
    Sorry, I guess I'm getting too wrapped up in Sequel Trilogy thread. (j/k) Anyways, the scenes for me also add a bit more reinforcement to Luke's desire to go to the Academy later on after what transpired earlier that day....he's lost the one true remaining friend (two if you also count Tank mentioned later) and the rest have pretty much turned to apathy. Even the SW storybook mentions Luke's feelings as well.

    Now had the scenes (or perhaps a part of them) been kept by some chance, we would have seen more of Luke's 'ordinary life' which
    would have paralleled TFA's storyflow depicting Rey's 'ordinary life' prior to their 'call to adventure'.
    A special effect without a story is a pretty boring thing. -George Lucas

  5. #25
    no this is cool, I read it!! i just watch it so much in the deleted scenes, etc ain't much to say except I would've been on board if it was cleaned up, cut cleaner/streamlined and put back in the BD edition.
    Last edited by jpolli666; 07-12-2018 at 07:30 AM.

  6. #26

    Star Wars Daily Screenplay Reading -- DAY 12


    I'd counter including the Anchorhead scene would require including the Treadwell scene from earlier, otherwise we run the risk of confusing the audience who may think the character they are about to follow through the movie is Biggs instead of Luke. You have to establish Luke first, and the Treadwell scene doesn't old up (I guess you could redo the 2nd unit stuff around the Luke footage and salvage it if you needed to.)

    Onto today's scene, which actually made it in the movie...!

    Princess Leia is led down a low-ceilinged hallway by a squad
    of armored stormtroopers. Her hands are bound and she is
    brutally shoved when she is unable to keep up with the briskly
    marching troops. They stop in a smoky hallway as Darth Vader
    emerges from the shadows. The sinister Dark Lord stares hard
    at the frail young senator, but she doesn't move.

    Lord Vader, I should have known.
    Only you could be so bold. The
    Imperial Senate will not sit for
    this, when they hear you've attacked
    a diplomatic...

    Don't play games with me, Your
    Highness. You weren't on any mercy
    mission this time. You passed directly
    through a restricted system. Several
    transmissions were beamed to this
    ship by Rebel spies. I want to know
    what happened to the plans they sent

    I don't know what you're talking
    about. I'm a member of the Imperial
    Senate on a diplomatic mission to

    You're a part of the Rebel Alliance...
    and a traitor. Take her away!

    Leia is marched away down the hallway and into the smoldering
    hole blasted in the side of the ship. An Imperial Commander
    turns to Vader.

    Holding her is dangerous. If word of
    this gets out, it could generate
    sympathy for the Rebellion in the

    I have traced the Rebel spies to
    her. Now she is my only link to find
    their secret base!

    She'll die before she tells you

    Leave that to me. Send a distress
    signal and then inform the senate
    that all aboard were killed!

    Another Imperial Officer approaches Vader and the Commander.
    They stop and snap to attention.

    Lord Vader, the battle station plans
    are not aboard this ship! And no
    transmissions were made. An escape
    pod was jettisoned during the
    fighting, but no life forms were

    Vader turns to the Commander.

    She must have hidden the plans in
    the escape pod. Send a detachment
    down to retrieve them. See to it
    personally, Commander. There'll be
    no one to stop us this time.

    Yes, sir.
    Rising stakes. Good stuff. Against all expectations, Leia isn't frightened of Vader, instead she keeps control of herself and starts to spin her way out of his trap. But we already know Vader well enough to expect he won't get dragged into a debate about the semantics of her mission. Indeed, she is lucky to be alive at the end of the scene. And almost immediately Vader lets us know that is because he needs her, for now.

    The rest exposits and cranks up the tension. The droids didn't make a clean getaway, they will be pursued.

    We'll see about that tomorrow...

  7. #27
    thats cool w/ me too

  8. #28
    Not to nitpick, I'm curious why Lt. Praji only reported one lifepod ejected when Lt. Hija implied more than one. I can only assume when Praji said 'during the fighting' that he may have meant the fight after the Imperials boarded. Could that mean the rest were ejected prior to that during the Tantive IV's pursuit as a reconciliation?

    Anyway, the novelization states Praji's line as 'malfunctioning lifeboat pod', although in retrospect, Cpt. Bolvan seemed to have assumed that. The way I see it, not doing fact checks before reporting to Lord Vader may prove potentially fatal. For what it's worth, there's the short story, "The Sith Of Datawork" which goes into more detail about the incident.
    A special effect without a story is a pretty boring thing. -George Lucas

  9. #29

    Star Wars Daily Screenplay Reading -- DAY FRIDAY THE 13th

    959 views...I have no beef with the way the information is delivered to Vader. Seems the officers know the less said the better. And of course time is of the essence. At least Vader doesn't tell us he will be staying aboard the Avenger because he hates sand.

    The Imperial Stardestroyer comes over the surface of the
    planet Tatooine.


    Jundland, or "No Man's Land", where the rugged desert mesas
    meet the foreboding dune sea. The two helpless astro-droids
    kick up clouds of sand as they leave the lifepod and clumsily
    work their way across the desert wasteland. The lifepod in
    the distance rests half buried in the sand.

    How did I get into this mess? I really
    don't know how. We seem to be made
    to suffer. It's our lot in life.

    Artoo answers with beeping sounds.

    I've got to rest before I fall apart.
    My joints are almost frozen.

    Artoo continues to respond with beeping sounds.

    What a desolate place this is.

    Suddenly Artoo whistles, makes a sharp right turn and starts
    off in the direction of the rocky desert mesas. Threepio
    stops and yells at him.

    Where are you going?

    A stream of electronic noises pours forth from the small

    Well, I'm not going that way. It's
    much too rocky. This way is much

    Artoo counters with a long whistle.

    What makes you think there are
    settlements over there?

    Artoo continues to make beeping sounds.

    Don't get technical with me.

    Artoo continues to make beeping sounds.

    What mission? What are you talking
    about? I've had just about enough of
    you! Go that way! You'll be
    malfunctioning within a day, you
    nearsighted scrap pile!

    Threepio gives the little robot a kick and starts off in the
    direction of the vast dune sea.

    And don't let me catch you following
    me begging for help, because you
    won't get it.

    Artoo's reply is a rather rude sound. He turns and trudges
    off in the direction of the towering mesas.

    No more adventures. I'm not going
    that way.

    Artoo beeps to himself as he makes his way toward the distant
    To me this is a good scene for two reasons. Firstly, we have our two lowly droid heroes having a legitimate conversation in which the audience must participate because Artoo is speaking a foreign language and we have to figure out the gist of his side. It literally says "Artoo continues to make beeping sounds." twice in a row for his lines. Of course, Threepio is verbose to the extreme, so following along isn't too hard, but it makes the audience feel smart to keep up. Even me as a 4 year old kid. And the scene flows logically and is well-written. It's a cop-out when Threepio repeats what Artoo just said because he's incredulous, and when that happens its usually a sign of bad writing. But here, we get the polished version, "What makes you think there are settlements over there?" "Don't get technical with me!" It's all there, and yet they are realistic comebacks.

    Secondly, the scene before this told us the Imperials are onto the escaped droids, and could be showing up any time: it's Hitchcock's "ticking bomb under the table." We know they have no time to lose, and it makes us twist and squirm to find the droids arguing amongst themselves rather than working together to get out of the area.

    The scene ends with even more tension mounting. The droids go their separate ways. The imperials are on the way. The desert is big and scary and all looks pretty hopeless.

    Let's find out what happens tomorrow...

  10. #30
    For a droid whose programmed for etiquette (not destruction), we have a good first view of Threepio's 'irritable' side, up to the point of triggered physical violence. Oh, did you mean to say ISD Devastator?
    A special effect without a story is a pretty boring thing. -George Lucas

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