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10-31-2005, 04:59 PM

A Clone Wars story

As the Republic is ravaged by the Clone Wars, the Jedi and Grand Clone Army of the Republic continue their search for Count Dooku and General Grievous.

The Jedi act as Generals on the field of battle, instructing the Clones and advanced engineered Commanders. However, as like the atmosphere in the Republic Senate, fear & distrust race across the galaxy.

As the Clone Wars continue to drag on, a victory followed by a defeat every week, the Republic continues to strive for peace while maintaing hope for a return to the peaceful times that lasted for over a 1,000 years.

10-31-2005, 05:01 PM


Chapter 1

On the distant planet of Raxus Prime…

Alpha: This is the last one, sir.
Cmdr. Bacara: Any sign of activity here?

Alpha: Just one security droid, sir. One more than the last barracks yesterday.

Cmdr. Bacara: This one is not worth our time. Call in the Kimcharise to bomb the facility.
Alpha: Yes, sir.

Ki-Adi Mundi: Not so fast, Commander. Cancel the order for the gunship.

Ki-Adi: I want to verify that Grievous is not on this planet. This is the last of the strongholds. If we destroy the General, I want physical proof he is dead. Have your Marines secure the barracks.
Cmdr. Bacara: As you wish…

Cmdr. Bacara: I want one squad to circle around the barracks! The other with me! Leave nothing standing! Move out!!

Ki-Adi: Be cautious, Commander. I have a bad feeling about this. May the Force be with you.

Cmdr. Bacara: If Grievous is inside, then this war will end here and now.

Alpha: The security droid has dropped to the ground, sir.

Cmdr. Bacara: Take him down quickly, trooper.
Alpha: Yes, sir.


Cmdr. Bacara: Now, circle right and activate your electronic visor. Beta Team: Report!

Beta: We have reached the back of the barracks. No sign of ………wait…….I hear……

Beta: Destroyer droids!!! Cover! Cover!

Beta: Too late!!! Aaarrggghhhh…..

Cmdr. Bacara: Beta Team is down.
Alpha: Sir, the barracks are opening…..

Alpha: Droids!!!

Cmdr. Bacara: You know what to do, troopers!


Cmdr. Bacara: FIRE!!!

Continued below...

10-31-2005, 05:07 PM
Thud! Thud!

Alpha: The destroyer droids!

Cmdr. Bacara: General Mundi will dispose of them.....not soon enough...






Ki-Adi: Sweep the barracks, Commander. Grievous must be inside.

Alpha: Another droid coming…

Cmdr. Bacara: This one’s mine!

Cmdr. Bacara: Check the rest of the barracks.

Alpha: Nothing, sir. Only a few droid parts.

Gamma: The same on this side, sir. Nothing but screws and bolts.

Alpha: I’ll check the roof.

Alpha: Commander! I found…..something….

Cmdr. Bacara: Report! What do you see?!

Alpha: I see…..Grievous’….


Cmdr. Bacara: Magna Guards!!! Spread out!!!

Continued below...

10-31-2005, 05:13 PM
Cmdr. Bacara: Stay away from the staffs!

Gamma: Aaaaahhh!!!

Cmdr. Bacara (thinking): Rifle is worthless in close combat…

Cmdr. Bacara: Last chance…..

Cmdr. Bacara (thinking): Just a little closer….

Cmdr. Bacara: Now!! AAAHHH!!!

Ki-Adi: Grievous must be close!

Ki-Adi: But, first to dispose of his “companions.”





Ki-Adi: I’ll take that!

Ki-Adi: You have failed your General!

Ki-Adi: Commander!! CATCH!!!

Cmdr. Bacara: Got it!

Cmdr. Bacara: Now, this makes things even…




Continued below...

10-31-2005, 05:21 PM

Cmdr. Bacara: Where is General Grievous?! TELL ME!!!

Cmdr. Bacara: I will give you one more opportunity to answer my question: WHERE IS GENERAL GRIEVOUS?!

Cmdr. Bacara: Stop wasting my time!

Cmdr. Bacara: Mission accomplished…

Ki-Adi: Good work, Commander. Your training has served you well.

Delta: Reinforcements have arrived, Commander.
Cmdr. Bacara: Reinforcements? I did not call for…..

Ki-Adi: I called for reinforcements, Commander. Wasn’t sure if your Marines were going to be enough to take down Grievous.

Cmdr. Bacara: My men can handle anything thrown at them.
Ki-Adi: I can see that now. Nevertheless, this adventure proved worthless. Grievous is not here. He only left these droids as a distraction.

Ki-Adi: Pick up the wounded, and bury the dead, Commander. I will report our result to the Council.

Cmdr. Bacara: Do as the General says, trooper.
Delta: Yes, sir!

Cmdr. Bacara: And trooper…….call for the Kimcharise to destroy this place. I want nothing left standing.
Delta: Yes, sir.

Cmdr. Bacara: Should have done that from the beginning…

Continued below...

10-31-2005, 05:32 PM
Great, I liked how you decided to do another story and a great decision it was. This looks like it will be better than Vaders Quest.

10-31-2005, 05:34 PM
Chapter 2

Back on Coruscant, the Jedi Council have just viewed Ki-Adi Mundi’s report on Raxus Prime.

Shaak Ti: That is the end of Master Mundi’s transmission.

Mace Windu: Ki-Adi’s frustration was obvious. Again Grievous proves to be one step ahead of us. He was reported on Raxus Prime only three days ago.

Yoda: Knew of our attack, Grievous did. Strange this is…

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Palpatine will not be pleased, since he was against sending what few Clones we had to hunt down Grievous.

Mace Windu: Palpatine’s attention is spread over too many objectives. He wants to end the war, but also secure the Inner Core.
Saesee Tiin: His current legislation to allow Clones to become Coruscant’s Galactic Security is only adding to his distractions.

Kit Fisto: We must not allow him to lose focus on capturing Count Dooku or Grievous. The war will end if they are destroyed.

Mace Windu: Here he comes now, late as usual…

Chancellor Palpatine: Please excuse my tardiness. As you know, several Senators are opposed to my plan for the Galactic Security of Coruscant. Their inquiries only delay the inevitable.

Mace Windu: Think nothing of it, Chancellor. We were just discussing the latest report from Master Mundi. His latest assignment proved unsuccessful in locating Grievous.

Chancellor Palpatine: Another disappointment. Was your intelligence not correct, then?

Yoda: Knew of our plans to attack, the General did. Now, the search continues…

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Our intelligence was correct about Grievous’ location, since he left several Magna Guards behind.

Shaak Ti: We have several more Jedi looking for him and Count Dooku. It will only be a matter of time before we find both of them.

Chancellor Palpatine: And if you don’t? I am sorry to sound so negative, but in our continued hunts for the Count and his General, we have found nothing but dust.

Chancellor Palpatine: Could they not just be leading us on a wild Bantha chase? Meanwhile, with our Clones being re-positioned, the Seperatists come closer to taking back several planets in the Inner Core.

Chancellor Palpatine: With this ongoing conflict, the people of these planets may begin to believe the rhetoric from the Seperatists, that we cannot protect them. This may lead to these crucial planets leaving the Republic, and joining the Seperatists.

Chancellor Palpatine: Peace is our objective, not just the death of two evil beings. I understand how important Dooku & Grievous are to ending the War. However, the Senate is not pleased when we lose troops on missions that prove worthless. I will shoulder the blame for this myself, but the Jedi no longer enjoy their high stature with the Senate or the Republic. There are trying times, for certain.

Chancellor Palpatine: Now, unfortunately, I am needed in an emergency session of the Senate. Several Senators have called for a vote on the Galactic Security measure. I am confident we have the votes to win, though. I bid you a good day, Jedi.

Mace Windu: His time spent with us becomes less and less each time.

Saesee Tiin: He is correct about our failed missions. Each one brings less hope to the War ending soon.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: There are so few Jedi left that I fear we may not have enough to find either Dooku or Grievous.

Yoda: No matter, the pursuit of Grievous and Dooku will continue. Growing the dark side is, difficult to see the future is. May the Force be with us.

Mace Windu: Obi-Wan, may we speak to you.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Of course, Master.

Mace Windu: Where is Anakin?
Obi-Wan Kenobi: He is in the meditation room in the Temple. He has been very uneasy about something as of late.

Mace Windu: You must keep him focused, Obi-Wan. He is quickly frustrated with this War.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: I will, Master. I am concerned he has been on Coruscant for too long. He becomes restless with the War going on.

Kit Fisto: His conversations with the Chancellor may also add to that anxiety.

Mace Windu: It is Palpatine I worry about. His recent actions are questionable.

Mace Windu: Just watch him carefully, Obi-Wan. His skills will be needed when we find Dooku or Grievous.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: I will, Master. And thank you for your concern.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: …..

Continued below...

10-31-2005, 05:40 PM
Chapter 3

In the Meditation Room at the Jedi Temple, a calm Anakin allows himself to listen to the Force…


Anakin Skywalker: There is something not right…

Qui-Gon Jinn: Anakin Skywalker, meet Master Adi Gallia. She is a dear friend of mine, and the person I confide in regarding the Jedi Council.
Adi Gallia: It is a pleasure to meet you, Anakin Skywalker.

Anakin Skywalker: ……

Anakin Skywalker: But how am I supposed to know the difference between the Living Force and the visions?
Adi Gallia: The Living Force will only be here and now. The visions you have are not from the Living Force, Anakin.

Adi Gallia: Qui-Gon explained this to me so many times. Only recently, have I understood what he was talking about.

Adi Gallia: Because Qui-Gon only made decisions based on the present situation, the Council did not believe he thought about the consequences of his actions. This was their main riff with Qui-Gon.
Anakin Skywalker: I understand, Master. But how did you become so close to him?

Adi Gallia: Mainly because he was right about a lot of things. He knew of the Dark Side growing before his attacker appeared on Tatooine.

Adi Gallia: He knew the Republic was being corrupted. This war would not have surprised him, nor the allegation by Dooku that the Senate is controlled by a Sith Lord.

Adi Gallia: It was here in the Meditation Room where I first began to understand the Living Force. I come here to meditate on these matters. In time, you will come here to quiet your mind.

Adi Gallia: Based on your accomplishments, Qui-Gon would have been very proud of you. You have made the entire Jedi Order proud.
Anakin Skywalker: Thank you, Master.

Anakin Skywalker: …..


Anakin Skywalker: Master Gallia!!!

Anakin Skywalker: Grievous….

To be continued...

10-31-2005, 05:53 PM
This is pretty long, so I haven't had a chance to read it just yet - but the pics of Palpatine's office are simply awesome... what did you use for all the mini-platforms?


10-31-2005, 07:30 PM
The part with Palpatine was very, very well done. I like the hand motions you had for him.

But my favorite is Anakin and Adi, and how they are done in a flashback.

This is very well done.


I love that you have Anakin meditating as well http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smile.gif

10-31-2005, 07:33 PM
Very very cool. I've said it before but I'll say it again, to be able to do what you do without altering the pictures is awesome. It is a true skill to be able to light and photograph good pictures.

What I really like about the story is you just jump right into the thick of things. No long exposition in the beginning, just jump right in, just like the movies. That flashback for Anakin was intriguing. We never did get to visually see his training so it was a nice touch.

Great job. I look forward to seeing more!

10-31-2005, 07:34 PM
That was really nice!

10-31-2005, 08:00 PM
Again, you must be commended on your photonovel. You have managed to tell a tale of excitement and intrigue and have me clamoring for more! Can't wait until the next chapter. Keep 'em coming on a weekly basis! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Viva La KimCharise--the ultimate Gunship!

10-31-2005, 08:23 PM
Good job. The best parts:
You told an action packed story with no photo effects
You used awesome flashbacks
You had effective dioramas
You made an unarticulated figure like Bacara look awesome
You got the lighting wonderful

My only comment is use more clones. I can tell you used the same two Tank Gunners for all of the pics.

10-31-2005, 08:31 PM
That was just, WOW! I'm happy you're up and making stories!

11-01-2005, 12:50 AM
Great job SA, I'll focus on the positive which was most of it in my opinion. I think this is better than Vader's quest. I think that posting so much at once was a good idea and makes it easier for me to follow, as this could have easily been divided into several chapters and posted a few days apart.

One suggestion, and it's not about making customs. I would suggest some more establishing shots, like maybe a view of Coruscant or a panoramic view of where Ki Adi Mundi was. Just to reinforce the different locations and establish them a little more.


11-01-2005, 09:08 AM
Sooo glad you are back Longhorn. These are truly the best stories on the boards. They look fantastic!

11-01-2005, 10:41 AM
wow, really really good. great story, great photos and characters. I always wondered why no one uses Grievious. great job man. keep up the good work.

11-01-2005, 06:15 PM
Your back! And now I understand your prolonged absence. It was well worth the wait. Your skill with a camera is unsurpassed on these boards. Great story! Wonderful pacing. Kudos all around. I look forward to the next installment.

PS Want to send me a few of those robes? They looked great! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

11-01-2005, 06:39 PM
wow, really really good. great story, great photos and characters. I always wondered why no one uses Grievious. great job man. keep up the good work.

I've only used Grievous twice I think in photonovels, and both times it was just a cameo... I'm sure SA will include him more in the future though, I know I'm going to have more on him. I just like making all new characters which is why I haven't used him much because we already know what happens with the established characters for the most part, but the established characters are a lot of fun too, especially probably on a character like Grievous where there is a lot that could be added in for the Clone Wars through our own imaginations.


11-01-2005, 08:50 PM
Great to have you back where you belong, Longhorn!!

Love the new story and I especially like the "dark" lighting effects - very atmospheric!

I will try to post more after I re-read the story. But, hats off to you for another job well-done!

11-03-2005, 09:58 AM
well it's definitely better than your previous story, you should listen to chewie about introduction shots

11-05-2005, 08:26 PM
Great job! cant wait for more!

11-05-2005, 09:58 PM
I found an error in your story. In one of the flashbacks, there's a pic that is suppose to be after geonosis (based on the discussion), and Anakin does not have a robotic hand.



EDIT: added pic

11-06-2005, 03:52 AM
Good eye Redd! Maybe he can fix it.


11-06-2005, 12:16 PM
Great story. A nice mix of action and plot progression. The photo set-ups are good too. There is a lot of motion in your compositions. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

11-06-2005, 01:16 PM
Grreat Story my friend, I was reading the whole thing and enjoyed it a lot.

11-07-2005, 10:25 AM
Thanx for all the compliments and comments, guys and Gals. Glad everyone found something to their liking. Tried to showcase a lot of different locations. I am still looking everywhere around the house for more props.....

REDD - Good eye, perhaps you should "proof read" my work in the future! However, in my defense, if George Lucas and ILM will leave Hayden's real right hand exposed when he lands on Mustafar in the ROTS DVD, then I will leave my fig alone!

(runs to other room.....changing "real" hand to "gloved" hand....)

Look for an update by Wednesday, if not sooner!


11-07-2005, 10:26 AM
You'll just have to digitally fix it for the special edition. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif

11-07-2005, 05:01 PM
Man I love photo novels. What a way to "fill some gaps". Yur very own "infintes" or "visionaries".

11-07-2005, 07:20 PM
You could have some tech wiz fix it for you! Or, just retake the pics. Or you can forget about it and not change it. Like ILM did.

11-09-2005, 09:55 AM

Chapter 4

In the Jedi Temple, Anakin Skywalker waits for Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Anakin Skywalker: …..


Obi-Wan Kenobi: Anakin, I came as soon as I got your message. What’s wrong?

Anakin Skywalker: Master Gallia is in trouble.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: How do you know?

Anakin Skywalker: I saw Grievous during my meditation. He is stalking her.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Master Gallia is on a Peace Recovery mission on Adaven. As for Grievous, his location is still unknown.

Anakin Skywalker: Grievous knows where she is…..

Anakin Skywalker: He knows she is vulnerable.

Anakin Skywalker: The Council must send a squad to rescue her. I will go alone if I have to…

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Calm down, Anakin. We don’t have any evidence that Master Gallia is in trouble or even if Grievous is anywhere near Adaven.
Anakin Skywalker: I don’t need “evidence.” I KNOW she is in trouble!

Obi-Wan Kenobi: There’s no reasoning with you. We will speak to Master Windu regarding this. Now, relax.
Anakin Skywalker: Forgive me, Master. I just have a bad feeling about this whole thing.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Well, I am glad you told me about this first. I’m surprised you didn’t go to Adaven by yourself.
Anakin Skywalker: I wouldn’t go without you, Master. Who would save you while I was gone?

Continued below

11-09-2005, 10:12 AM

Chapter 5

Later, Count Dooku arrives for a private meeting at The Works, the abandoned manufacturing district on Coruscant.


Darth Sidious: Welcome, Lord Tyrannus.
Darth Tyrannus: Lord Sidious, the War goes well.

Darth Tyrannus: The Grand Army of the Republic is spread across the galaxy. Their supply lines are stretched beyond the breaking point. The Jedi ranks are thinned out, and more systems are rallying to join the Separatist movement.
Darth Sidious: You’ve done well, Tyrannus.

Darth Sidious: The Jedi are obsessed in their search for Grievous and you. Their pathetic dedication will play into our hands.
Darth Tyrannus: Shall we begin the final assault, Master?

Darth Sidious: The final stages of the War have already begun. The Republic is helpless to stop it.
Darth Tyrannus: What plans do you have for Master Kenobi & Skywalker?

Darth Sidious: They’re of no concern. Their destiny lye with me.
Darth Tyrannus: General Grievous was anxious to begin his next attack. He is in position now.

Darth Sidious: Good. Then, the time has come for your own attack to begin, Lord Tyrannus.
Darth Tyrannus: Your wish is my command, Master.

Meanwhile, back at the Jedi Temple, the Jedi discuss the latest developments in the Clone War.

Aayla Secura: …the report is from Clone Intelligence. It's the best lead we've had. That system is supposed to be void of any Separatists.

Kit Fisto: We must act quickly. If we delay a response, Grievous could escape again. The Council must decide which squad will go.
Aayla Secura: What about Palpatine?

Mace Windu: Let’s be cautious. If we have another failed mission, even Palpatine will not be able to take full responsibility. We need proof, not leads. We’ll speak about this at a later time.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Master Windu, may we speak to you for a moment?
Mace Windu: Of course.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Anakin has had some…..visions…..regarding General Grievous.

Anakin Skywalker: Actually, of Master Gallia.

Mace Windu: Master Gallia is surveying Adaven. The war is over there, and her squad is to assist in the rebuilding. Reports have General Grievous on the other side of the galaxy.

Anakin Skywalker: Allow me to go to Adaven to verify she is safe.
Mace Windu: Your place is here, Skywalker. I sense much confusion in you. We have more leads than we can possibly follow-up. We can’t afford to send additional forces to a planet with no effect on the War, based solely on your “visions.”

Obi-Wan Kenobi: But Master, with Grievous’ location still in question, should we not at least verify Master Gallia is safe on Adaven?

Mace Windu: While I don’t think this warrants any more of our time…..I will send a transmission to Adi. At least we will receive her estimate regarding how long the rebuilding effort will take.

Anakin Skywalker: Thank you, Master. I look forward to her response.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Thank you, Master Windu.
Mace Windu: May the Force be with you both.

Anakin Skywalker: He doesn’t believe me, Obi-Wan. I am not confused! Perhaps if the visions were his own, he would take this more seriously…..

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Calm yourself, Anakin. We are all on the same side here. He did say he would contact Master Gallia. I'm sure everything will be alright.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Now, come on, let’s go to the briefing. I am interested to know how the War is going.
Anakin Skywalker: Yes, Master. I hope you're right.

11-09-2005, 10:26 AM

Chapter 6

Originally a Separatist stronghold, Jedi Council member Adi Gallia & Commander Deviss arrive on Adaven to begin the rebuilding effort.

Adi Gallia: This should be close enough, Commander.

Commander Deviss: Yes, General. The base is just over the hill, north of here.

Adi Gallia: Prepare your men, Commander. We will see some disturbing things that could rattle the rookies.
Commander Deviss: Yes, General. Will we encounter any resistance?

Adi Gallia: No. The last reports of the War indicated the Republic succeeded in driving the Droid Armies out of the Adaven system, but only after the “MAYDAY” call from the original battlion.
Commander Deviss: Is this what you meant by “disturbing?”

Adi Gallia: Yes, Commander………this is what I meant…………..

Adi Gallia: Every life is precious to the freedom of the Republic.
Commander Deviss: We will fight for as long as necessary, General.

Commander Deviss: This must be the remains of the droids that killed the two troopers.

Commander Deviss: Four droids versus two Clone troopers. Our brothers-in-arms did us proud!
Adi Gallia: …..

Adi Gallia: Keep moving. We need to reach the base and see if anyone survived this carnage. http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a132/S_V_Bane/Dark%20Illusions%20Chap%204-6/6-10.jpg

Commander Deviss: More droids, General. The Seppes knew this was the base of the Adaven system.

Adi Gallia: Unfortunately, we did not have enough troops for the initial attack. http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a132/S_V_Bane/Dark%20Illusions%20Chap%204-6/6-11.jpg

Commander Deviss: Be proud, General. This solider destroyed four more droids.

Commander Deviss: According to the map, the base is hidden behind the brush. Remove those leaves, troopers!

Adi Gallia: We’re too late….. http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a132/S_V_Bane/Dark%20Illusions%20Chap%204-6/6-14.jpg



Commander Deviss: Even more droids, General.
Adi Gallia: They were trapped… http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a132/S_V_Bane/Dark%20Illusions%20Chap%204-6/6-17.jpg


Commander Deviss: They did their job, General.
Adi Gallia: Nevertheless, this is proof of Grievous’ brutality. We have to end this War soon.

Commander Deviss: Pilot, you were to remain with the ship.
Omega: Sorry, sir! We’ve received a transmission from Coruscant. http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a132/S_V_Bane/Dark%20Illusions%20Chap%204-6/6-20.jpg

Omega: The transmission is for you, General Gallia. From Master Windu.
Adi Gallia: Master Windu?

Adi Gallia: Let’s go, trooper. Commander Deviss, begin the cleanup process.
Commander Deviss: Yes, General. http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a132/S_V_Bane/Dark%20Illusions%20Chap%204-6/6-22.jpg

Commander Deviss: Troopers! Begin collecting the bodies for burial. http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a132/S_V_Bane/Dark%20Illusions%20Chap%204-6/6-23.jpg

Commander Deviss: We will give all of our fallen brothers the proper burial, with full honors.


Adi Gallia: I wonder why Master Windu would contact me here.
Omega: I don’t know, General, but the message was marked “URGENT.”


To be continued...

11-09-2005, 12:02 PM
WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW! These new chapters are great http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smile.gif! I love how the story is developing, the pictures are all incredible, and the cliffhanger at the end really makes me want to see the next chapters. Great job http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smile.gif, can't wait to see more.

11-09-2005, 12:35 PM
more more more! digging the troopers walking through the hills with rock s scenes. Very cool.

11-09-2005, 01:19 PM
This is not meant as a back-handed compliment:

I enjoyed "Vader's Quest", but I'm lovin' the hell out of this!!!

Really great story! Your dialogue is excellent, very much in character. And the story is intriguing! Love the ending, you've really got me on the edge of my seat, waiting for more!!

Bravo! Extremely well done!

11-09-2005, 03:21 PM
This is great I loved it I was at the end of my seat in that last chapter. I can already see what is going to happen in the next couple of chapters but I can't wait to see how you make it. Again excellent job your very skilled at this.

11-09-2005, 04:09 PM
Great Job S A!
Looking forward to the next Chapter

11-09-2005, 04:46 PM
Niiiiice! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

11-09-2005, 05:50 PM
WTF! A cliffhanger. That explosion completely caught me off guard. Great job with the dialogue. I can actually hear Obi Wan saying those lines. Now call in sick , burn the midnight oil, or make a clone of yourself. Just do whatever it takes to get the next part done quickly. I can't wait to see what happened there.

11-09-2005, 08:53 PM
NIce touch, ending with a cliffhanger.
I kept hoping there was another post I missed somewhere.
Excellent work. Photography and dialogue is top notch.

11-10-2005, 10:10 AM
Wicked ******! Love the troopers hanging in the bars.


A digitally manipulated photo.......welcome to the dark side S_A_Longhorn! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

11-10-2005, 05:51 PM
GREAT!!! Cant wait to see what happens next! Great build up to the cliffhanger! Didnt even see it comeing!

11-11-2005, 10:52 AM
That ending was perfect SA! I can't wait to see more!

11-11-2005, 07:01 PM
Now call in sick , burn the midnight oil, or make a clone of yourself. Just do whatever it takes to get the next part done quickly. I can't wait to see what happened there.

My sentiments exactly! Hopefully he'll take into consideration that he has an audience waiting on the edge of their seats for the next chapter! But, since the Longhorns have a game tomorrow, I won't expect anything until Sunday evening. Hint, hint! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Keep 'em comin'!!! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif

11-13-2005, 03:29 PM
Hurry up SA? You got your fans waiting in suspense. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/wink.gif

11-14-2005, 12:07 PM
Thanx to all the people responding. I am astonished the last chapter got so much feedback!

The ending was something I thought of while shooting the story. The Texas rocks are from my backyard, and were "unearthed" during the building of my house. Anybody game for a rock fight??? http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

I also appreciate the compliments on the dialogue. That by itself took me a couple of days to write, re-write, and re-write again. Sometimes it takes longer to write the script than the actual story and time spent taking pics.

I originally thought the pics came out bad, meaning they were too bright or blurry.

Some people commented on introduction shots, but I have never used them. Two main reasons: 1) Those location shots are not my pictures, thus, I am stealing someone else's work. Something about Copyrights. 2) While a Coruscant pic is cool, it is unnecssary. Some of these stories are long, so the addition of a photo not important to the main story slows down the pace. My alternative of a simple italics line re-setting the location is basic, but effective.

My "explosion" was something that I added in to be more effective. Better than "EXPLOSION!" SHELLACHEAD: That was real! Burned my eyebrows off! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/mad.gif

I began work on the next three chapters (7, 8, & 9) last night. Hopefully another update by Friday. Some answers and more questions..... http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif

11-18-2005, 09:04 AM

Chapter 7

Senators Bail Organa of Alderaan and Padme Amidala of Naboo await Supreme Chancellor’s arrival for a private meeting.

Bail Organa: Why would he call this private meeting?
Padme Amidala: These days, we can never be sure. With each passing day, he seems more overwhelmed with the War.

Padme Amidala: Nevertheless, we need to be careful. No matter what he says, we must closely evaluate any new proposals.
Bail Organa: I wonder who else he invited?

Bail Organa: Governor Wilhuff Tarkin? Last I heard, he was still battling the Separatists out on the Seswana sector.
Padme Amidala: Since the beginning of the War, he has lobbied for stronger weapons and the development of a battle station. I don't understand why he would be here, since he is the Governor of Eriadu.

Bail Organa: We’ll soon have our answers. Here comes the Chancellor.

Bail Organa: Well, they seem friendly.
Padme Amidala: Yes…......very friendly...…….

Chancellor Palpatine: Senator Organa, I'm glad you could come. It is a privilege to see you again, M’Lady.
Padme Amidala: Thank you, Chancellor.
Bail Organa: It is honor to be here.

Chancellor Palpatine: Thank you all for coming. I brought you here today to discuss the upcoming vote on the Galactic Security proposal. You are my closest allies and friends, and it is of the utmost importance that we remain united while this measure is being debated.

Chancellor Palpatine: Peace is our objective here, peace throughout the Republic. However, we must also provide security for the citizens of Coruscant, especially the representatives in the Senate. If the Separatists were to attack Coruscant, as outrageous as that sounds, the Senate must be safe and continue to function.

Governor Tarkin: That is why I have always insisted on taking the fight to the enemy’s home planets, to prevent any attack against the Inner Core, especially Coruscant. With additional fire power, the War could end with one swift stroke. You have my support for any upgrades to the Grand Army, Chancellor.

Bail Organa: The Jedi provide security for Coruscant. We do not need the Grand Army patrolling Coruscant. The War is all too real for the people of Coruscant, simply by viewing the HoloNet.

Chancellor Palpatine: I understand your sentiment, Senator, and I wish we could depend on the Jedi in this matter. However, we would be foolish to leave the security of the Republic in the hands of a few Jedi. The Jedi Order has been crippled by this War. There are simply not enough Jedi to protect Coruscant.

Padme Amidala: But what exactly are you proposing, Chancellor? We can’t spare a Clone Army from the frontlines. Where would we find the troops to create a Galactic Security? I would only support a new Security measure if it comes with a guarantee to conduct a Peace Summit. We could then guarantee the safety of the Separatists leaders in order to negotiate a peace agreement.

Chancellor Palpatine: Right you are, M’Lady. The Galactic Security would be a brand new army of Clones, specifically trained to defeat any threat against Coruscant. If this measure passes, we could hold your Peace Summit. A diplomatic solution to this War still remains my first priority.

Chancellor Palpatine: I need your support. You are the two most respected Senators in all of the Republic. Your support could rally the Senate to pass this proposal as soon as possible.
Bail Organa: Thank you, sir. We will get the word out.
Padme Amidala: If it will lead to a peaceful end to the War, you’ll have my support, Chancellor.

Bail Organa: For once, we get some good news. This may actually lead to the end of the War, which would result in Palpatine stepping down.
Padme Amidala: We can only hope, Bail.

11-18-2005, 09:09 AM

Chapter 8

With no reply from Jedi Master Adi Gallia in several days, Mace Windu calls for an emergency session with the members of the Jedi Council remaining on Coruscant.

Mace Windu: Based on the conversation with Obi-Wan and Skywalker, I sent a transmission to Adi requesting her to report on her progress. It has been five days now, and I have yet to receive any reply.
Ki-Adi Mundi: Is it possible the message did not reach her on Adaven?

Mace Windu: According to the transmitter, the message was accepted by her Gunship. It is unlike her to go this long without any communications.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Could she be in danger, Master?
Mace Windu: It’s possible, however unlikely. I reviewed the scouting reports with Adi before she left. The last Clone intelligence stated the Droid Armies were driven out of that system completely. Nearly all inhabitants of Adaven were able to flee to surrounding systems.

Shaak Ti: With a full crew, any problem with the communication equipment would have been fixed. My feelings tell me there is something seriously wrong.
Yoda: Very mysterious, this is…..

Mace Windu: There’s more. We’ve lost the signal from the homing beacon aboard her Gunship. Even if there was a communication problem, we should still be able to locate her by use of the homing beacon.

Shaak Ti: We should send another squad to verify what has happened. The longer we delay, the bigger this problem may become.

Ki-Adi Mundi: I concur with Shaak Ti. If the Chancellor or Senate discovers we have lost communication with Adi and Commander Deviss, they will assume the Separatists have taken back the Adaven system. The Clones will then be ordered back to the system.

Yoda: Need that, we do not. Only more problems, this will become for the Jedi and the Chancellor.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Anakin and I are ready to go. He has been very uneasy about this whole situation.

Yoda: Only increase, would Skywalker’s frustration. A calmer, more experienced Jedi should go.

Mace Windu: I agree with Yoda. We can send Aayla Secura. She can leave immediately with Commander Bly and a small squad from the Star Corps. http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c241/S_A_Longhorn3/DARK%20ILLUSIONS%20-%20Chap%207-9/8-11.jpg

Obi-Wan Kenobi: I understand, Master. Anakin won’t take to this kindly, I’m afraid.
Mace Windu: He will respect the decision of the Council.

Yoda: Quiet we must keep, until we have confirmation from Aayla.
Mace Windu: Agreed. Patience is our ally in this situation.

Mace Windu: May the Force be with Aayla…..and Adi.


Anakin Skywalker: Another Council meeting? Glad I missed it.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Who are you kidding? You were probably outside the door, just hoping to overhear something.

Anakin Skywalker: Only to be sure you get us the best assignment, Master. I would hate to get stuck with a boring assignment, like negotiating a peace agreement between Jawas and droids.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Actually, that does sound interesting. Nevertheless..........the meeting was in regards to Master Gallia.

Anakin Skywalker: When do we leave? http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c241/S_A_Longhorn3/DARK%20ILLUSIONS%20-%20Chap%207-9/8-20.jpg

Obi-Wan Kenobi: We don’t, Anakin. The Council is concerned that she has not responded to Master Windu’s transmission.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: She may be in danger. The Council selected Aayla Secura to investigate the situation.
Anakin Skywalker: What?!

Anakin Skywalker: How could they NOT have chosen us??? We are the best suited for this mission or any other mission!! It was my vision, Obi-Wan, that prompted Mace to contact Master Gallia in the first place!!
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Calm down, Anakin. THIS is the reason why we weren’t selected. You have become too emotional.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: I want to go just as much as you do. We don’t know what has happened to Master Gallia, nor if Grievous was involved. We must remain patient. Aayla Secura will depart for Adaven as soon as possible.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Meanwhile, you must calm yourself. You must stay focused on…...
Anakin Skywalker: Save it, Obi-Wan. I don’t have time for another lecture.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: (sigh)

11-18-2005, 09:16 AM

Chapter 9

At the Senate building, Governor Tarkin & Papatine continue discussing the ongoing War.

Governor Tarkin: …….construction is slow but we are making progress. This project will take many years to complete. For the time being, it must remain confidential.
Chancellor Palpatine: Agreed. The political atmosphere is not right for an announcement of this magnitude.

Chancellor Palpatine: We will discuss this further at our next meeting. If you’ll excuse me, I have a guest waiting.

Governor Tarkin: Thank you for your time, Chancellor.
Chancellor Palpatine: Until next time, Governor.

Chancellor Palpatine: Welcome, Anakin. I’m pleased you were able to meet me on such short notice.

Chancellor Palpatine: Leave us.

Anakin Skywalker: I always have time for the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic.
Chancellor Palpatine: I was afraid the Council would have sent you on a mission by now.

Anakin Skywalker: I should be on my way to Adaven right now……….if not for the Council……
Chancellor Palpatine: They’ve done something to upset you again. Are you alluding to the situation concerning Master Adi Gallia?

Anakin Skywalker: How do you………that is not public knowledge…..
Chancellor Palpatine: My own…..sources…..informed me of the missing Clone battalion, led by Commander Deviss. Just because the Jedi try to hide this information, does not mean I am blind to what goes on in my Republic.

Anakin Skywalker: We don’t know if Master Gallia is any danger…..but…..
Chancellor Palpatine: We both know her fine character, Anakin. She is not one to forget her responsibilities. If she has not contacted anyone by now, then something must have happened to her. It disappoints me that the Council did not select you for this important assignment.

Anakin Skywalker: The Council doesn’t believe I can control my “emotions.” They are sending Aayla Secura, instead.
Chancellor Palpatine: I’m sure they are looking out for your best interests, Anakin. However, the Council is not without flaws themselves.

Chancellor Palpatine: Unfortunately, the Jedi Council has become very arrogant. It’s understandable, considering all the power they have acquired during this War. But even the younglings display their arrogance, thinking of themselves as Jedi Knights. It makes my job very difficult.
Anakin Skywalker: They do their best, Chancellor. They try to be optimistic, including Obi-Wan. But I will admit, it is not the Jedi Way to keep a secret from the Senate.

Chancellor Palpatine: Nor is it right to withhold this information from me. You must trust your feelings, Anakin. You should have been selected to go to Adaven. You should be on the frontlines right now winning the War. And more importantly, you should be on the Council by now.

Anakin Skywalker: I know it is only a matter of time before that happens. Even Obi-Wan tells me to be patient. My only concern right now is Master Gallia.
Chancellor Palpatine: Oh, I agree. She must be found. But you are a wise and powerful Jedi, Anakin. You have more than proven yourself. The Republic will forever be in debited to you. It only makes sense that the Jedi Council should show you the same respect.

Anakin Skywalker: Thank you, Chancellor. I appreciate your kind words.
Chancellor Palpatine: Very soon the Council will realize how powerful you have become. Until then, we shall respect their decision and hope it is for the best.

Meanwhile, back at the Jedi Temple…

Aayla Secura: I will get to the bottom of this plot quickly, Master. I’ll be back here in no time.

Yoda: Cautious, you must be, Aayla. More going on at Adaven than we know. http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c241/S_A_Longhorn3/DARK%20ILLUSIONS%20-%20Chap%207-9/9-16.jpg

Aayla Secura: Yes, Master Yoda. I will make contact as soon as I find something.

Yoda: May the Force be with you.
Aayla Secura: And also with you.

Commander Bly: General Secura, the Kimcharise is ready to depart.
Aayla Secura: Very good, Commander. Does Oddball have the coordinates?

Commander Bly: Yes, General. All of the equipment has been loaded as well. I would still recommend we take more men.

Aayla Secura: Thank you for your concern, Commander. But we are only on a reconnaissance mission. If we need more troops, we will call for them as needed.

Commander Bly: I have selected two of my best men, Tau and Rho, just as you requested. They have never let me down.
Aayla Secura: We shall be in good company then.

Commander Oddball: General Secura, it is an honor to have you aboard the Kimcharise.
Aayla Secura: Good to see you again, Oddball. Ready for another adventure?

Commander Oddball: Always! If your ready, General, we’ll leave immediately.

Aayla Secura: You can relax, Commander Bly. We still have to rendezvous with a Republic starship.
Commander Bly: Yes, General. I am just anxious to begin our new assignment. Hopefully, we will be allowed to complete this one.

Aayla Secura: I’m sure we will. Hopefully, with a happy ending.....



Yoda: Leave, another Jedi does...........return, she must.....

11-18-2005, 11:06 AM
It just gets better and better!

11-18-2005, 01:22 PM
wow that cloak fits Alaya like a glove-what a bod.

I haven't checked this post in a while, I somehow managed to miss 3 chapters! Excellent job! looking forward to the next.

11-18-2005, 02:12 PM
Like a glove? I was thinking more like an oversized terrycloth bathrobe like you can steal...er, use at most major 5 star hotels.

11-18-2005, 02:35 PM
Incredible http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/laugh.gif! I am utterly left speechless, seriously, I don't know where to begin the praise. This is probably one of the most fantastic photonovels I have ever seen. Bravo, congratulations, stunning, fantastic, a masterpiece, WOW!! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/ooo.gif http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/ooo.gif http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/ooo.gif http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/ooo.gif http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/laugh.gif http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

11-18-2005, 03:58 PM
Wow. Unbelievable. I think this is by far the best I've ever seen. Good, strong storytelling coupled with good exposition and dialogue. I think you've just set the bar very very high.

I agree with you on earlier comments about not needing set-up introduction pictures. Your pictures contain such rich information and are of great quality that a set-up shot isn't needed. One of the things I like to do first is scroll through the pictures without reading anything, and if I can gather where you are, what they're doing, and basically what's going on, then it's a job well done in my book. My acid test gives you an A+.

Longhorn, keep up the great work! I wouldn't change a thing.

11-18-2005, 04:08 PM
Wow! That's great! It really blew me away! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

11-18-2005, 05:20 PM
I would fuss about the length of time that it took for the next chapters, but it was definitely worth the wait!

I don't have enough backgrounds! My *&^! Each chapter includes more characters and more scenery! Love them all!

11-18-2005, 09:17 PM
What can I add? Nothing. Your work is brilliant. Is the ship name a nod to your fellow San Antonian?

11-18-2005, 10:03 PM
What can I add? Nothing. Your work is brilliant. Is the ship name a nod to your fellow San Antonian?

You guessed it! She finds all the hard-to-find items. So be nice, Kim, or the ship gets it! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Thanx for all the compliments! Thought these chapters would be not as popular since there is no action.

The next three chapters will conclude Act I.

11-19-2005, 10:35 AM
Fantatic!!!! I haven't visited the thread in a little while, so I was DELIGHTED to see so many new and excellent chapters!

You really are knocking these out of the park, Longhorn!! The dialgoue and characterizations are spot on, the story is very compelling and your use of props and locations becomes more ingenious each time out of th gate! I love the use of the blinds for the Jedi meeting room!

Truly excellent stories!!! Keep 'em coming!

11-19-2005, 03:00 PM
Brilliant once again. When's the next chapter? http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/wink.gif

11-22-2005, 11:25 AM
Thanx Lance! The dialogue has been taking me an extra day or two. Nice to read the positive feedback about it! The background for the Jedi meeting room is actually my A/C vent. I thought about the blinds tho. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

The next three chapters (10, 11, & 12) should be up in another week or so. I try to get a new update every week & a half. SO, most likely next Wednesday (11/30) or so...

11-22-2005, 02:20 PM
I love the lighting as well as the plot. You've created a world that's darker then the regular Star Wars and I like it that way. Cool clone pics as well. The dios seem fairly simple yet they're very effective as well.

12-01-2005, 07:22 AM
Due to the holiday weekend, I got lazy and took the weekend off. So my usual update has been pushed back.

Chapters 10 thru 12 should be up by Friday, December 2.

Working on the dialogue now.

EDIT - Yeah! I finished the chapters today (Thursday). So here they are!!

12-01-2005, 10:49 AM

Chapter 10

Jedi Knight Aayla Secura & Commander Bly arrive on Adaven, with the hope of finding Jedi Master Adi Gallia & Commander Deviss.

Commander Bly: Oddball, this is a good spot. Set her down here.

Commander Bly: With nightfall approaching, we should be able to move quickly.

Commander Bly: No sign of anyone or anything.

Commander Bly: The last known coordinates for General Gallia’s gunship were due south of here.
Aayla Secura: Very good, Commander. We shall walk the rest of the way.

Commander Bly: I still say we should have brought more men.
Aayla Secura: Not until it is absolutely necessary. May I remind you, Commander, we are on a peaceful mission.

Aayla Secura: Oddball, remain here with the ship. Continue scanning the area, and alert us of any movement. And be prepared for an immediate takeoff, just in case.
Commander Oddball: Yes, General. Good luck.

Aayla Secura: In my experience, there is no such thing as luck.

Commander Bly: There is something ahead. Not big enough for an enemy, but it does look familiar…..Rho, Tau, check it out!

Rho: I can’t see anything out here!
Tau: Neither can I. Wait…..I do see…..


Commander Bly: Who are they, Tau?
Tau: Based on the battalion logos, these troopers are part of the original battlion of Adaven. These are burial markers.

Commander Bly: Commander Deviss and his men must have begun the burial process. Who else would have buried these troopers?
Aayla Secura: Their objective was to restore the original command post. We must be close.

Commander Bly: Let’s keep moving then.

Commander Bly: General, do you mind if I ask, what you think happened to General Gallia and her men?
Aayla Secura: I have hope we will find them safe. However, I do have a bad feeling about all this. There is something very cold about this place. The dark side is strong here.

Tau: Commander, I have a visual on the command post.
Rho: I have a visual on something else…

Rho: Why were these troopers not buried?

Aayla Secura: Because..…they were burying the dead. These troopers must be from Deviss’ squad.
Commander Bly: Something went terribly wrong.

Tau: He has been blasted several times. And his serial number confirms he was part of Commander Deviss’ team.

Rho: Commander, their weapons are over here. Why would they leave them behind?

Aayla Secura: Probably because they didn’t think they would need them.

Commander Bly: Then who killed them? The planet was void of any life forms or Seperatists.

Aayla Secura: Obviously not. The Force will be our guide…..

Aayla Secura: Destroyer droids…..he fell…..trying to get back to his rifle…..

Aayla Secura: They were ambushed.

Aayla Secura: They were trying to get back to their weapons when the droids appeared. This trooper was shot in the back.

Rho: Droids are not known for their stealth. Their mechanical parts can easily be heard.
Tau: …..unless something else drew their attention.

Commander Bly: Doesn’t make sense, General. How could these troopers be so easily killed by droids?
Aayla Secura: The droids knew they were here. This attack was too precise…..as if the droids knew their exact location.

Commander Bly: A spy, perhaps?
Aayla Secura: Perhaps. Nevertheless, this was a trap. But where are Master Gallia and Deviss?
Rho: We found one more.

Tau: His neck was slashed. There are some restraints on the ground, near his feet.

Commander Bly: He must have been captured.
Rho: ….then killed.

Continued below.....

12-01-2005, 10:52 AM
Chapter 10 continued

Aayla Secura: One way to find out…..

Aayla Secura: He was restrained……until the very last second……when he was killed…….with a lightsaber……

Rho: A lightsaber?
Tau: Jedi use lightsabers….

Aayla Secura: As do Sith Lords, Tau. This trooper was interrogated before his throat was slashed.
Commander Bly: Only the higher levels of the Republic War Committee knew of this assignment.

Aayla Secura: Yes, and even less knew of the precise location. Someone has betrayed the Republic….let’s keep searching for Gallia and Deviss.

Commander Bly: A battle droid. This is the first one we have come across.

Aayla Secura: …..and there is Commander Deviss.

Aayla Secura: It appears he at least put up a fight….

Aayla Secura: But he was out numbered…..

Aayla Secura: Deviss’ death still does not provide any answers. We need to find their gunship.
Commander Bly: The coordinates of the gunship were on the other side of this hill. Let’s go.

Commander Bly: I think we just found their gunship…..or what’s left of it. Tau, can you confirm?

Tau: Affirmative, Commander. The serial markings are a match to the gunship assigned to Commander Deviss. And these burn marks could only be made by an explosion.

Rho: Watch your step. Looks like…….someone’s hands……

Aayla Secura: We are close…….I can feel her prescence……..but something is different……

Commander Bly: General, wait! Please allow us to scout ahead…..
Aayla Secura: …..as if she is here but gone……..……….oh no……


Aayla Secura: Master Gallia???

Aayla Secura: …..I…..I….have to know…….what happened…..

Aayla Secura: She survived the explosion…..

Aayla Secura: ….but someone was waiting for her…..

Aayla Secura: ….General Grievous…..

Aayla Secura: …..he attacked her…..

Aayla Secura: …..and killed her…..

Aayla Secura: …..with her own lightsaber…..

Aayla Secura: It was a trap. The whole mission was a trap.
Commander Bly: General……..is there anything………….I am sorry.

Commander Bly: General Secura has found Adi Gallia. Begin collecting Commander Deviss and his men. I will return to the Kimcharise and report our findings.

Commander Bly: Give General Secura all the time she needs…..

Aayla Secura: Noooooo…

Aayla Secura: (sobbing)

Rho: I thought it was forbidden for a Jedi to cry?
Tau: Apparently not. Let’s get to work.

12-01-2005, 10:53 AM

Chapter 11

Leaving the Adaven system, General Grievous arrives at the Invisible Hand.


Battle Droid: Sir, Viceroy Gunray demands an update on the War.

General Grievous: Gunray demands nothing! I do not take orders from a worthless Nemodian!

General Greivous: There are more important things I must attend to…

Super Battle Droid: Sir, the transmitter is now working properly.

General Greivous: It better be….

General Greivous: Time to report our victory.

General Greivous: Yes, Lord Sidious.
Darth Sidious: General Grievous, what news do you bring from the Adaven system?

General Greivous: The mission was a success, just as you predicted. The Clone battalion was exactly where you said it would be. We destroyed their gunship, and I personally handled the Jedi scum.

Darth Sidious: You have done well, General Grievous.
General Greivous: But why don’t we crush the Jedi as they arrive on Adaven, my Lord?

Darth Sidious: Patience, General. The Jedi are a dying breed. You have dealt them a crippling blow. The Jedi Council has lost a prominent member, and will soon lose another. You must now shift your focus to Jedi Master Mace Windu.

General Greivous: Mace Windu? He rarely leaves Coruscant. http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/dealianres/Dark%20Illusions%20-%20Chap%2010-12/11-12.jpg

Darth Sidious: Leave that to me. But when he does, you must be ready.

Darth Sidious: I will let you know when the time is right.
General Greivous: Yes, my Lord. What about Viceroy Gunray and the other Seperatist leaders?

Darth Sidious: Keep them safe, General. We will need them to win this War. As we speak, Count Dooku has begun the final phase of our plan.

Darth Sidious: These are the final days of the Republic. And we will have our revenge on the pathetic Jedi!

General Greivous: Very good, Lord Sidious. I will await your orders. Greivous out.

General Greivous: Very soon I will have the lightsaber of the famous Mace Windu………very soon…….

General Greivous: But first, to deal with that worthless Nemodian…..

12-01-2005, 10:57 AM

Chapter 12

After leaving the Jedi Temple, Anakin returns to the only other place he calls home.


Padme Amidala: Anakin!
Anakin Skywalker: I’ve missed you, Padme.

Padme Amidala: I was afraid I wasn’t going to see you before you left again. How long are going to remain on Coruscant?
Anakin Skywalker: The Council can reassign me at anytime. But, they are too concerned about their own right now.

Anakin Skywalker: And by the time they make a decision about anything important, the War may be over.
Padme Amidala: What do you mean by that?

Anakin Skywalker: Nothing. Forget it, just Jedi business
Padme Amidala: Well, in that case……...I’m so happy you’re here! The constant worrying about someone……

Anakin Skywalker: I told you to stop worring about that. No one is going to find out. We will always be together. Nothing will prevent that, not even the Jedi Order.
Padme Amidala: What’s wrong? Something happened at the Temple, didn’t it? http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/dealianres/Dark%20Illusions%20-%20Chap%2010-12/12-5.jpg

Anakin Skywalker: I don’t want to talk about it. Tell me, what peace agreement did you charm someone into signing today?
Padme Amidala: Very funny, Annie. I prefer a diplomatic solution instead of aggressive negotiations, remember? But I did have an interesting meeting with the Chancellor recently.

Padme Amidala: Senator Organa and I met with Palpatine to discuss the upcoming vote on the Galactic Security. The Chancellor invited his close friends, including Wilhuff Tarkin. Senator Organa was puzzled by his attendance.
Anakin Skywalker: What doesn’t puzzle Senator Organa?

Padme Amidala: Nevertheless, the Chancellor wanted to know if he had our support for the Security measure. He claims it will provide more security for the citizens of Coruscant, especially the Senate.
Anakin Skywalker: The Chancellor is just trying to keep the Senate in session, so we can end the War sooner. It will take even longer to decide things if the Senate is in hiding.

Padme Amidala: Perhaps, but is it really necessary to have more troops? The Jedi keep the peace here on Coruscant. If the new Security can provide the safety necessary to hold a peace summit, then I would be in favor of it. And since when do you care about politics?
Anakin Skywalker: Oh believe me, I don’t care for it. But I agree with the Chancellor, we need more Security. The Jedi can’t do everything.

Anakin Skywalker: The Council can’t even select the best Jedi for a rescue mission. Why would you believe they could protect an entire planet?
Padme Amidala: I know you’re upset about something that the Council did or didn’t do. What happened, Annie?

Anakin Skywalker: Master Gallia is in danger. I saw her during my meditation. She has not responsed to recent transmissions. But the Council chose Aayla Secura to investigate. She is a very good Jedi……but…...
Padme Amidala: ……you wanted to go. I know how much Master Gallia means to you. It is understandable why you are upset. But Aayla is more than capable of finding Master Gallia.

Padme Amidala: Besides, look at the bright side. While she is gone, you’re here…….with me.
Anakin Skywalker: You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking. Our time together is so limited. I won’t spend another minute thinking about it.

Anakin Skywalker: Something is not right here…….I feel…..cold…….

Anakin Skywalker: Dooku!!!

Count Dooku: I may have left the Jedi Order a long time ago, but I don’t remember the Order approving of this type of relationship. What would Master Yoda say?

Count Dooku: A Senator and a Jedi? Imagine the rumors that would sweep over the Republic!
Anakin Skywalker: They will never know because you won’t live long enough to tell anyone, Dooku!!!

Count Dooku: Such anger in a Jedi. I LIKE IT!!!
Anakin Skywalker: I’ll show you anger!!!


Count Dooku: Young fool. Do you really think you can defeat me?
Anakin Skywalker: Guess we’ll find out!!!

Count Dooku: Perhaps you are not as powerful as everyone thinks…..

Count Dooku: My Master will be so disappointed.

The End of Act I

To be continued.....

12-01-2005, 11:10 AM
BRAVO, S_A_Longhorn!

I really like the pacing... discovering bodies as Secura's squad moves through the zone was a nice way to move the story along, and having the fate and present condition of the bodies go from bad to worse set the stage for discovering that the worst was true. Using Secura as a channel to see into the past was another brilliant touch. It incorporated a ton of action into that chapter without making the whole chapter about action sequences.

I like how you have your squad working together and complimenting one another. I like how Bly handled Secura's breakdown by shoring up his troops and handing out orders.

I've really enjoyed your work in the past, but Chapter 10 takes the cake IMO.

Chapter 11 is also solid, but for other reasons. You've done a good job of working in Grievous in a believable way. His temper with his droid crew and his distaste for Neimoidians works well. There was one typo - "buy" instead of "but" - but otherwise the scripting is very solid.

Congrats on a very fine update. Can't wait to see more.

UPDATE: I didn't see Ch. 12. You should have written the dialogue for Episode 2 and 3... better than what we got. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smile.gif I'm not real sure about Dooku and two battle droids waltzing into a Senator's apartment on Coruscan, but I'm willing to go with the flow. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smile.gif

You have some very nice shots of the beginning of a fight... I'll be interested to see how it ends.

Another strong chapter.

12-01-2005, 11:44 AM
Let's see (looks in thesaurus, finds synonyms of inrcedible. "fantastic, No, amazing, No. Thinks to himself oh well, I guess there is no word to express how good DARK ILLUSIONS is) There is ABSOLUTLEY NO word to express how good this is. Amazing storyline, fantastic pictures, I love the force flashbacks, WOW!
Now, go get a job at lucasfilms, make ep 7,8,9, and watch as they are the best yet http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/laugh.gif http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/wink.gif. But seriously I'm speechless and totally in awe.

12-01-2005, 12:21 PM
awesome. great job. can't wait to see how you maneuver the Dooku story line back to the movies. looking forward to seeing Anakin kick'n some *****.

12-01-2005, 12:39 PM
Way to go, S_A_Longhorn! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
I really have been enjoying these stories. The chapters are enough long and even better than Star Wars Episodes I, II and III.
I can't wait for act 2! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smile.gif

12-01-2005, 12:53 PM
Incredable! Those last three chapters are the best yoe have done so far! really moved the story along well. That last picture of Dooku using the force lighting is really really great!

12-01-2005, 01:05 PM
I like the way Dooku's stunt double appears as the lightsaber battle starts. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif Seriously though, great stuff!

12-01-2005, 01:23 PM
Thats a great shot of the Lightning. I like the way your camera reproduces the color blue.

12-01-2005, 05:10 PM
Wow! AWESOME story! Are you trying to make this "canon"? Cuz there's a few problems if you are. I love alot of the lighting and angles. Great job.

12-01-2005, 05:29 PM
Great job S_A, I love how you can see Commander Deviss' squad's last stands.

12-01-2005, 07:05 PM
Excellent chapter! These just keep getting better. You have a rarity for a photonovel. In addition to great action scenes you also have a ton of mystery to both sides of the fight and you have a coherent, detailed plot. The discovery of Deviss' squad was very well done and there are still questions to be answered. Very engaging. Well done.

12-01-2005, 08:18 PM
Longhorn, your dialouge is fantastic. I swear I feel like I'm reading something straight from Lucas....actually no, it's better than Lucas.
Photography is excellent as well.
I loved that shot of the clone helmets.

12-01-2005, 11:17 PM
GREAT update, Longhorn!!!

Really loving the hell out of this story, as always! Admittedly, I liked the Aayla scenes just a little bit better than the Ani/Padme stuff, which felt just a little talky. I think you could have shortened it just a bit without losing your major points.

However, that is a minor nitpick. Here's another. I don't like Aayla quoting Kenobi's "no such thing as luck" line. I don't like recycled SW dialogue. Didn't like it in the CW cartoons, didn't like it when Anakin said, "this is where the fun begins" and I don't like it here. The only line that should ever be recycled is "I have a bad feeling about this."

Still, that was a powerful scene. LOVED Aayla's psychic abilities. I was actually saddened that they were too late and found Adi Gallia dead! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/frown.gif

But it was great stuff. And, as others have said, the final shot of Dooku is GREAT. Excellent cliffhanger, as always!

In the words of Dirk Diggler, "Keep rocking and rolling." Your stuff is faaantastic!!

12-02-2005, 08:42 AM
Very nice updates! Only two problems I have with it -

- I don't believe that Dooku and Anakin really have any fights between AOTC and ROTS - as Anakin says, "My power has doubled since the last time we met," and in the Labrynth of is Evil he and Obi Wan and trying to face Dooku for the first time since AOTC, but he escapes - this is immediately prior to ROTS.

- A couple of the Grievous pics are hard to make out, like this one - http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/dealianres/Dark%20Illusions%20-%20Chap%2010-12/11-8.jpg

But the Dooku/Anakin thing looks great the way it is, and is very realistic. The pictures you took are clear and very crisp, something I wish I could do just 1/2 as good as you.

And the shot of Dooku first emerging into the room on Coruscant looks freaking real -


I love how this shot shows the passion between Anakin and Padme, and Dooku looks so natural there. Pure perfection. In my opinion, this is the BEST shot you've done on any of these. This shot, to me, defines what Anakin is going through during the Clone Wars. Masterfully done. I am amazed at how cool this shot looks. I hope you don't mind, but I will definitely try and replicate this shot a bit later on in the Rykrof Enloe series for a somewhat similar situation, but between different characters.

Also, the holo effect you did is simply perfect. Really one of the best effects I've seen anyone do.


12-02-2005, 08:52 AM
Thanx to everyone for their feedback. Glad the last three chapters were received so well. I'll respond to each comment:

InRem: Thanx for the breakdown per chapter. Obviously I had to go back and tell what happened to Adi & Deviss. Instead of showing the actual ambush, I thought it would be more interesting to have Aayla & Bly discover what happened to them after the fact. Thanx for pointing out the typo. Can't always find them all! Dooku would have indeed needed "help" to simply waltz into the apartment. But that is part of the master plan! Thanx for the compliments on the dialogue. That is usually the hardest part. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

CloneCommander1: I look forward to your responses. They have been very flattering but funny too. Hopefully, by the end of the story, you'll have increased your vocabulary ten-fold! Glad your enjoying the story. And if you hear that Lucas is hiring, LMK http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Strikeg: My man! I have not yet deceided if this story will follow the films or be "canon." I have two versions of the story written down. So Dooku vs Anakin in the last chapter is part of the entire story. Long way to go... http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

Phoenix: Welcome to RS! Glad you left some feedback and that you are enjoying the story. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Bear78: Hey Bear! Thanx for the feedback on the last three chapters. These three were a lot of fun to create. All of Act I led up to these final three, so I was hoping they would be the best overall.

Jediknutt: Always busting my chops! Just consider the Evolutions Dooku the lightsaber fight chroegrapher, just like the long-haired guy in the real movie. I swapped him for his angrier facial features.

12-02-2005, 09:11 AM
Shellachead: Glad you liked the Dooku lightning shot, but the effect was not all the camera's doing. I lit up the lightning with a small flashlight as I was taking the pic. It worked well. Just trying to come up with some interesting angles & pics.

CommanderRedd: Sorry to kill off Deviss/Redd! But their must be sacrifices. As mentioned earlier, I am following "canon" to a degree, but also giving my own spin on stories. The story may not follow "canon" only b/c everyone would then know how it ends. So, knowing your expertise, I may try some different things to create an original story. Only time will tell... http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

CloneCommander: Glad you enjoyed the way Com Deviss and his men fought. The flashbacks worked well, based on everyone's reponses.

Blight: Thanx for the compliments on my so-called storytelling abilities. Hardest part of telling the story in this format is losing some of the realism and atmosphere needed in each scene. SO far I haven't lost anybody! Thanx again.

Flacksguy: In one of the chapters, I have to have a small comedic skit, in omage to you! Thanx for mentioning the dialogue. That has become the hardest part of making these stories. I write it, then re-write it 10 more times. Even after that, I still edit & re-edit. I am no writer so it takes me a couple of days.

Lance Quazar: my toughest critic, but also one of the most helpful. Reptetive lines are a staple of the SW story. I try not to use to many, but I figure the Jedi Order is full of repeating "fortune cookie" wisdom. I doubt anyone came up with new sayings. The Padme/Anakin scene was long, but I had to go through several different conversations, if only to summarize what happened in the previous chapters. It is all related to each other, in the end. The use of Aayla's abilities was something I was dying to showcase. It worked well, I think.

UPDATE - CHEWIE: Thanx for the feedback, CHEWIE. I have not seen you on here for a while. The duel between Anakin & Dooku is part of the story that may not be "canon." Anakin never said exactly when the "last time we've met" actual happened, but we assume it was at the end of AOTC. My story may follow and may not follow the films anyway. And you're right about some of the Grievous pics. You mentioned once before about some monitors not being as bright as others. I can hardy see anything in that pic you quoted on my monitor at work (Shhhhh!), but is very visible and clear at home. The chapter was a simple story, so I tried a lot of different angles and added the droid parts for more depth. The Holo Emperor was just putting the holo fig on top of the hi-bright flashlight. That light has been very useful in all of these chapters. I didn't want to make the Padme/Anakin scenes to "mushy" but there was a lot of dialogue I had to get acorss. I like that pic was well, except for the brightness of Anakin/Padme. It is one of the larger shots I have taken, only because that "set" was big enough to handle a shot like that. Dooku & the droids just appearing in Padme's apartment would be impossible without some "help." But that is part of the "illusions" going on in every chapter.

Thanx again for everyone leaving their feedback. This story has been a lot of fun to tell. I hope I didn't divulge to much information in my responses. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif

I will begin working on ACT II in the upcoming weeks. But since these chapters have taken up so much time, I will relax during the holiday season. Hopefully, I post chapters 13-15 of ACT II by Christmas time. I'll keep you guys updated.

12-02-2005, 06:28 PM
Fantasic once again Longhorn. I've been reading ever since the beginning of Vaders Quest and this is much better by far. Can't wait until the next updates. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smile.gif

12-03-2005, 08:55 PM
Wasn't my intention to "bust your chops". I really like what you've done. Great work. I was just joking around. I do that. Drives my wife nuts. Sorry if it upset you. Keep up the outstanding work.

12-04-2005, 11:55 AM
I hate to sound ungrateful, but the work that you do makes me want to see more! I don't care if your storyline doesn't fall in line with the overall SW storyline/timeline. I read each story as YOUR story utilizing some familiar characters, and that's what makes them so interesting. You never know what the next chapter is going to bring, and that is the very root of my anticipation for the continuation of the saga!

12-04-2005, 05:25 PM
No offense taken, JediKnutt! I enjoy your feedback, and it will make me work harder to get everything just right!

I don't care if your storyline doesn't fall in line with the overall SW storyline/timeline. I read each story as YOUR story utilizing some familiar characters, and that's what makes them so interesting. You never know what the next chapter is going to bring

That is what I figure. If the story follows "canon", then the end is already known, like ROTS. Also, I would need to come up with some custom characters that no one really cares about. I prefer to use the main characters.

I am brainstorming the second Act. Now that my Horns have made their reservations for Pasadena in January, I can get my Saturdays back!

12-15-2005, 03:21 PM
OK, I have begun work on Chapter 13, 14, & 15. I hope to have them complete by Monday, but they will be posted by next week for sure.

1,000th post! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

12-15-2005, 06:32 PM
1,000th post! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

And to think that we joined only two days apart and you see what my count is!

12-15-2005, 06:59 PM
Hurry up. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/wink.gif Take your time and I can't wait.

12-16-2005, 07:21 PM
This is a great photo novel so far. I'm really enjoying it. The Dooku pic at the end of the chapter is by far the sweetest.

12-20-2005, 03:55 PM
OK, I have finally finished Chapters 13, 14, & 15. These are taking longer and longer to create! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

TO review the end of chapter 12:

Count Dooku: Young fool. Do you really think you can defeat me?
Anakin Skywalker: Guess we’ll find out!!!

Count Dooku: Perhaps you are not as powerful as everyone thinks…..

Count Dooku: My Master will be so disappointed.

12-20-2005, 03:56 PM


Chapter 13

Anakin Skywalker: You…..underestimate……my power!

Count Dooku: No…….impossible!

Count Dooku: Argh! Impressive……….but foolish.
Anakin Skywalker: I’ve waited a long time for this, Dooku. http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b260/S_A_Longhorn2/Dark%20Illusions%20Chapters%2013-15/13-3.jpg

Count Dooku: Then, you will continue to wait, for this is my day. Master Kenobi was always a novice with a light saber. I shouldn’t expect any different from you. Your technique lacks elegance and grace.

Count Dooku: And you lack the focus required to challenge me.

Anakin Skywalker: Nice try, but you missed.
Count Dooku: You still have much to learn, Skywalker. Things are not always as they seem. For all of your heroics, you lack an understanding of this.

Count Dooku: Don’t be a pawn for the Jedi Order. Do you really believe the Order is the path to the greatness that you so desperately seek? Your destiny lies on a different path.

Anakin Skywalker: What do you know of destiny, Dooku? You turned your back on the Order. You gave up everything. And for what? To be the leader of a bunch of mindless minions?

Count Dooku: Qui-Gon would have been so disappointed. My departure led Qui-Gon down a different path. Why do you think he was so quick to rescue you off that hideous desert planet? He was determined to prove the Prophecy of the Chosen One. If only to destroy the Jedi Order!
Anakin Skywalker: NO!! That’s not true!! I’m tired of listening to your lies!!

Count Dooku: Perhaps you should…..you might actually learn something.
Anakin Skywalker: Uhhhhhh….

Count Dooku: And as for you, my dear………time for you to stop meddling in our plans. Your influence on the young Skywalker is only delaying the inevitable.
Padme Amidala: No!! Leave me alone!!

Anakin Skywalker: Don’t you touch her!!!

Anakin Skywalker: Release her!!! NOW!!!

Count Dooku: Or what? You’ll kill me? That is not the Jedi way. At least not the way Master Kenobi has taught you.

Count Dooku: It is time to see through the lies of the Jedi, boy! For too long they have ruled over the Republic, allowing her to die from corruption and greed.

Count Dooku: The Jedi are close-minded. If you are to restore balance, shouldn’t you have unlimited power?

Count Dooku: Something he may never achieve if you, my dear, continue with this feeble relationship.

Count Dooku: It would be in your best interest to step aside while you still can.
Anakin Skywalker: DOOKU!!!

Count Dooku: What???

Count Dooku: Argh!!!

Anakin Skywalker: Your time is at an end, My Lord!!!

Count Dooku: Not by you, Jedi!

Count Dooku: My powers are far superior to yours.

Anakin Skywalker: Droids can’t save you, Dooku!!!

Count Dooku: No………but my knowledge of the Force can.

Count Dooku: Don’t ever turn your back to me, boy. Not only is it rude, but disrespectful.

Count Dooku: You always were a slow learner.

Count Dooku: Now do you realize you are no challenge for me?

Count Dooku: The “Chosen One” could not be defeated so easily by an old man. Perhaps if you had a stronger teacher……

Count Dooku: Give my regards to Master Yoda. He will be very interested in our little meeting.

Count Dooku: Don’t worry, my dear. He’ll be alright. It is your future you should be concerned about.
Padme Amidala: Get your hands off of me! You will never win this War, Dooku. No matter what you do, the Republic will always stand!

Count Dooku: Don’t be too proud of this Republic, Senator. It grows weaker by the day. I bid you both a Good Night.

Count Dooku: And you can keep my…..gifts…..as tokens of my appreciation for this evening.


Count Dooku: I have concluded my business here. Let’s go.

Count Dooku: My Master will be pleased with tonight’s events.

12-20-2005, 03:57 PM

Chapter 14

After a long journey, the gunship “Kimcharise” arrives on Coruscant, returning from Adaven.

Tau: The Jedi Temple landing pad is just ahead, General.

Aayla Secura: Good. We are finally home.

Commander Bly: I requested additional troops to assist with the unloading.

Commander Bly: Here comes your Jedi friends, General.

Ki-Adi Mundi: Welcome home, Aayla.
Yoda: Pleased by your safe return, we are.

Aayla Secura: Thank you, Master Jedi. We could not get back soon enough.
Mace Windu: All the preparations have been made. Everyone has assembled in the meditation room.

Aayla Secura: Master Gallia is aboard. I rode with her…personally.

Mace Windu: Commander Bly, please direct the procession. Follow us to the meditation room.
Commander Bly: Yes, Sir.

Commander Bly: Alright men! Everyone lift and walk together. On my mark……ready……march!


In the sacred Meditation Room, a traditional ceremony is held for the fallen Master Jedi Adi Gallia, a member of the Jedi Council.


All available Jedi are called back to Coruscant for the sacred ceremony, to be broadcasted on the Holonet.

Agen Kolar: Here comes Chancellor Palpatine, ready to deliver another impassionate speech. How is he allowed to speak at this memorial, when the Code forbids any non-Jedi speakers?
Mace Windu: Since Adi was a part of the Council and a friend of the Chancellor, he made it an Executive Order. He also invited some of his fellow politicians. The Senate requested his presence.


Chancellor Palpatine: Thank you for joining me for this very special ceremony. It is under the saddest of circumstances we come together to remember a fallen hero. A hero which was a member of the Jedi Council, but also a friend to the political society of Coruscant.

Chancellor Palpatine: Jedi Master Adi Gallia was born & raised on Coruscant. Being the daughter of high-ranking Corellian diplomats, she understood the importance of the Republic & it’s democracy. Her close friendship to Chancellor Valorum led to the successful liberation of my home planet of Naboo over ten years ago.

Chancellor Palpatine: It was shortly after the blockade that I first met Maser Gallia. She quickly earned my respect as a very instinctive & intelligent Jedi. She was not one to be fooled easily. Master Adi Gallia’s long contribution to the Jedi Council has saved the Republic from many dangers over the years. Her loss is especially difficult during these troubled times.

Chancellor Palpatine: Quite frequently, I would consult with her regarding the security of the Senate and Coruscant. In fact, we had an appointment to meet today regarding the Galactic Security. It is my strong belief that Master Gallia would have supported the upcoming measure, as a way to preserve the working democracy of the Republic.

Agen Kolar: Leave it to the Chancellor to turn this into a platform for his Security measure.
Mace Windu: He is a politician. He’d never miss opportunity to promote his agenda, even at the expense of a fallen Jedi.

Chancellor Palpatine: Please join me in a Moment of Reflection, to honor the work and life of the great Jedi Master, Adi Gallia.

Chancellor Palpatine: Thank you. It is now my privilege to introduce a dear friend of Master Gallia, Senator Bail Organa of Alderaan.

Bail Organa: Thank you, Chancellor. Fellow Senators, Jedi, ladies and gentlemen…………….
Obi-Wan Kenobi: You’re late, Anakin.
Anakin Skywalker: Sorry, Master. I had……an unexpected visitor. It won’t happen again. Has the Chancellor spoken?

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Yes, he just finished. Senator Organa is now speaking.
Bail Organa: …………………we must remember her for all of the sacrifices she made throughout her lifetime…………
Anakin Skywalker: I’m sorry I missed the Chancellor’s speech. I’m sure his words offered some comfort.

Captain Antilles: Welcome, M’Lady.
Padme Amidala: Thank you, Captain.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: You’re delay didn’t have anything to do with Senator Amidala, would it?
Anakin Skywalker: Of course not. Why would you ask that? We would have arrived together then. Which we did not……as you can see.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: I suppose you’re right. Strange, though, since she is usually very punctual.
Anakin Skywalker: Perhaps I will ask her…….the next time I see her…..whenever that might be.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: No, don’t bother. I know your distaste for politicians.
Anakin Skywalker: Well……Padme…….Senator Amidala is not just a politician, Master.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Well, that may be true but…….wait……where’s Master Windu going?
Anakin Skywalker: Shhhhhh……I can’t here Senator Organa.




Mace Windu: Are your here?
Shade: I am.

Mace Windu: Let me start by saying whatever we speak of today shall remain confidential. Few know of this meeting, and even less know the purpose of it.
Shade: Understood.

Mace Windu: Begin the hunt for Darth Sidious. Find proof of his existence, and the possible location of Count Dooku & General Grievous. All of this is critical to ending the War.

Mace Windu: The Dark Lord has some connection to the Chancellor’s office. Begin there.

Mace Windu: When you find something, report directly to me.
Shade: As you wish.

12-20-2005, 03:58 PM

Chapter 15

While the Jedi ceremony concludes, the remaining Clone Commanders are assembled in one of the outpost hangars on Coruscant, awaiting their next orders.

Commander Gree: Have you got your orders yet?
Commander Bacara: Not yet. Rumor is Rhen Var or Mygeeto. General Mundi doesn’t tell me anything until we ship out. What about you?

Commander Gree: My latest orders have me researching the origins of Grievous. The Jedi believe a better understanding of his background will give us an advantage whenever we find him.
Commander Bacara: If they gave me a week, I could hunt down & destroy Grievous.

Commander Bacara: All I need are my Marines and no meddling Jedi.

Commander Gree: Hey, no arguments here!

Commander Gree: But my research has been very interesting. The Kaleesh species have always been at war. Grievous has known nothing else his entire life. It would explain his expertise during battle.

Commander Bacara: Is that why the Jedi are afraid of him? We could have destroyed him on Raxus Prime, but Mundi wanted to sweep through the barracks on foot. We lost a lot of men that day……unnecessarily.

Commander Gree: The Jedi are one “species” I prefer not to understand. Why are we wasting our time here on Coruscant, anyway?
Commander Bacara: Some Jedi ceremony. What is Commander EZ doing now?

Commander EZ: And I want that speeder bike secured to the ship! When you get done with that, inspect the exterior cannons!

Commander Bacara: Why don’t you do some of the work yourself, EZ, instead of barking out orders? You can always catch up on your rest when you get to the battle, anyway.
Commander EZ: Wha??? Oh……Bacara……I should have guessed.

Commander EZ: Well, I am a commander. I give orders, and my men take orders. You would be wise to teach that to your men. Or what’s left of them…
Commander Bacara: What did you say?

Commander Bacara: Why don’t I do your men a favor and dump you off at the nearest Separatists base?
Commander EZ: Heeeyy!!!

Commander Gree: Calm down, Bacara. We don’t need him filing another complaint.
Commander EZ: That’s right. Wouldn’t want your squadron to be without their beloved barbarian commander!

Commander Gree: Enough, EZ. Get back to your work, and we’ll get out of your way.
Commander EZ: Good thing you were here, Gree.

Commander EZ: What are you guys staring at!!! Get back to work!

Commander Bacara: One day he’ll get his…...
Commander Gree: Forget him, Bacara. Here comes Bly & Oddball.

Commander Bly: Too bad our brethren don’t get that type of ceremony.
Commander Oddball: No problem, because the Republic knows who really is responsible for winning the War.

Commander Gree: Commander Bly & Oddball! So good to see you guys again. Heard you got in. Where’ve you been?

Commander Bly: Just left the memorial for General Gallia.

Commander Bacara: Why waste your time remembering a Jedi? They could care less about us. Their only concern is whether or not you can follow their commands.

Commander Bly: General Gallia was a great warrior. And General Secura has saved my men plenty of times.
Commander Bacara: Only because you didn’t do it yourself…

Commander Bly: You want a fight, you got it!

Commander Bacara: Just as long as your bleeding heart can take it, banana boy!
Gree & Oddball: Break it up guys!

Commander Bly: It’s not my fault you lost some men at Raxus Prime, Bacara!

Commander Bacara: Only because of your precious Jedi! My men gave their lives for nothing!!!

Commander EZ: Which one of you is responsible for denting my Gunship?

Commander Bacara: I’ve had enough of you bleeding hearts. I’m outta here!

Commander Bly: Gree, you know him best. What is his problem??
Commander Gree: He just needs to be back on the battlefield. All this time waiting is just making him more and more irate about what happened at Raxus Prime.

Commander Bly: Trust me when I say that Commander Deviss and his men were given a proper burial at Adaven.
Commander Oddball: And the next offensive should be happening very soon. Since all of the Generals and Commanders have been recalled to Coruscant, a new attack plan will be created to win the War.

Commander Gree: Nevertheless, Deviss did not get his name all over the Holonet like the Jedi. Just remember that. What ended up happening to General Gallia & Deviss anyway?
Commander Bly: According to General Secura, the Seppes ambushed Gallia, Deviss, and his men. The attack was led by General Grievous.

Commander Gree: I have been studying Grievous and the Kaleesh species. Based on my research, Grievous has known nothing else but war his entire life. Deviss’ squad had no chance of survival as soon as they arrived on Adaven.

Commander Bly: That could be very true, but someone still had to alert Grievous to their exact location. That is more troubling than the attack itself.

Commander EZ: I would not be taken out so easily. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a ship to inspect.

Commander Oddball: If only EZ was as good in battle as he is in keeping his armor clean.
Commander Bly: What else have you learned about Grievous?
Commander Gree: Well, let me tell you his history in the War with the Huks………

To be continued...

12-20-2005, 04:22 PM
Let's see, where is my lower jaw? Not on the floor, maybe through that hole in the floor? No, Ah, here it is about 20 feet down in the earth. This is AMAZING, there are some parts I really like. The subtle hint to the palpitine/sith connection is great with the Dooku royal guard escort, I love the clone dialouge in Chap. 15, and the ani/Dooku fight is top-notch. One little funny thing though, in the first couple of shots where Windu is talking to the clone, but the clone is out of the picture, I thought windu was acutually talking to the windowshade behind him, not Clone Shade http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/wink.gif. And now, off to the skywalker ranch to tell George about how he still hasn't hired you.

12-20-2005, 05:58 PM
banana boy! lol

great adition to the story! the banter between the commanders was nice too.

12-20-2005, 06:38 PM
Yes great chapter. The commanders fight was pretty off beat and funny. It was great to see you acknowledged the character's personalities. Gree was interested in alien species as the databank said and Bly was quick to mention Secura. Bacara seemed angry. Dooku's lines of dialogue were stupendous and sounded like real movie quotes. The whole thing seems like it belongs in a movie. Great job!

12-20-2005, 09:31 PM
Wow Dude.....just....wow.

How do you continue to make each chapter better than the last?
I thought it was great how each chapter had something different going on. The fight in chapter 13 was top notch, very realistic, and great dialouge as usual. Very moving ceremony in chapter 14, I thought you did a fantastic job with the funeral. And you are a master at taking household objects and turning them into your settings. Chapter 15 was my favorite, because of the different personalities you gave the clone commanders. The scholarly Gree, the anal EZ, the loyal Bly, and the jerky Bacara.
The shot of them brawling on the floor was classic.

Brilliant, Brilliant work once again.

12-21-2005, 09:52 AM
Fantastic work S_A, the way you gave all the clone commanders some personality was great, and also worked with what the Databanks says. The ending to the Dooku fight was well done too, and the little hint to the connection between him and palpatine was great as well. I'm definitly looking forward to more!

12-21-2005, 12:10 PM
Wow Longhorn! Some of your best work yet! I loved the funeral sequence, and the clone commanders. But there are some minor typos.

12-23-2005, 12:24 PM
awesome longhorn awesome. Great stuff as usual. The Dooku battle was excellent!

12-27-2005, 03:37 PM
Thanx to everyone for leaving some feedback. It was fun to begin making these stories again after a short break at the end of Act I.

The Anakin/Dooku fight was fun to shoot since the figs have great articulation. I switched out the two Dooku figs based on the mood of the scene (angry Dooku or calm Dooku).

The funeral scene was a challenge, but came out decent. I could not get the lighting right, so I kept clone Shade out of the pic until the end. I wanted to keep him in the dark/shadow while Mace spoke.

The Clone Commanders was a small omage to Flacksguy. Didn't want the chapter to be over-the-top, but tried to give each commander a personality and how they would clash with each other. Everyone picked up on that easily. Look forward to creating more chapters with these commanders.

I have the outline for Chapters 16, 17, & 18. With the holidays, my production has been slowed, but they will be up within a week or so.

Thanx again for the feedback. All is much appreciated. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

12-27-2005, 09:53 PM
Great addition Longhorn. I love the Dooku vs Anakin fight and how you swithced the Dookus for the best face expression. I thought the funeral was fantastic and how you gave the Commanders their own personatilys. Can't wait until the next addition of chapters.

01-02-2006, 11:50 AM
I loved that clone fight. I really like how you used their personalities there.

01-03-2006, 08:29 AM
Thanx for the feedback guys. The Clone Commanders will show up more in future chapters. This past chapter was a great way to show each commander's personality, and might explain future events... http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Got lazy this weekend and didn't get a chance to work on the story. Won't start shooting until after the Rose Bowl.

But hopefully, with some work by this weekend, the next chapters (16, 17, & 18) will be complete by next Monday.

Always appreciate the feedback! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smile.gif

01-13-2006, 10:28 AM
Well, after MUCH delay, I have completed the next three chapters. Hopefully, I will be able to update my story more frequently now that football season is over!

Enjoy chapters 16, 17, and 18! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smile.gif

01-13-2006, 10:29 AM

Chapter 16

In the abandoned, manufacturing section of Coruscant known as The Works, Count Dooku arrives for a special meeting.


Count Dooku: Remain here.

Count Dooku: Everything went as planned, My Lord.
Darth Sidious: Very good, Lord Tyranus.

Darth Sidious: I trust your mission was a success.

Count Dooku: Indeed. The young Skywalker was overwhelmed with anger. His fear of being discovered with the young Senator from Naboo fueled his attack. He is as powerful as you have foreseen.

Darth Sidious: You have done well, my apprentice. Skywalker could become a powerful ally. But we must be patient. His time will come.
Count Dooku: As you wish.

Darth Sidious: For now, we have more urgent matters to attend to. You must travel to the Oner system.

Darth Sidious: There, you will meet a warrior of great interest to us. His skills as a fighter could become a tremendous asset. But his story is just as important.

Darth Sidious: His name is Sagev. A cunning warrior, he has been exiled from his home planet. Revenge is his only purpose now……which should make him the perfect ally.

Darth Sidious: But be mindful, Lord Tyranus. He is not to be trusted. What he says may be of more value to us than what he does.
Count Dooku: I understand, My Master.

Darth Sidious: Move quickly. The Jedi have begun their search for you and General Grievous. They are relentless.

Count Dooku: I shall rendezvous with the General immediately. We will make contact with this warrior, My Lord.
Darth Sidious: Your ship awaits, Lord Tyranus.

Darth Sidious: Remain here until Lord Tyranus has departed.

Darth Sidious: Destroy any evidence of this encounter.

01-13-2006, 10:30 AM

Chapter 17

As Shade searches for evidence of a Dark Lord, he begins at the place suggested by Mace Windu.

Shade: (thinking) ……no one here……based on the photos……the holo-computer should be directly below…...

Shade: (thinking) ……begin security jam……grappling hook secure……

Shade: (thinking) ……for the Republic!……

Shade: (thinking) ……work quickly……security jam temporary……

Shade: (thinking) ……tap into holo-computer……record transmission locations……

Shade: (thinking) ……no unknown locations……only recent transmissions found……

Shade: (thinking) ……strange……check the historical records……

Mas Amedda: ….unfortunately, the Chancellor is running behind schedule…
Shade: (thinking) ……voices……coming this way……abort! abort!……

Mas Amedda: Please allow me to apologize for……Guards, please turn on the lights!

Mas Amedda: That’s better. As I was saying, Governor Tarkin, please accept my apologies for the Chancellor’s delay. He is a very busy man during these times, you understand.

Tarkin: Think nothing of it. We did not have a meeting scheduled. I simply wanted to give him an update on our latest…project.

Mas Amedda: Yes, of course. I’m sure the Chancellor will be most eager to hear about your progress.

Mas Amedda: Guards! Contact the Chancellor’s personal security. Notify them the Chancellor has an important visitor waiting.

Mas Amedda: The Supreme Chancellor is always accompanied by his Royal Guards, as decreed by the Senate. He hopes with the passing of the Galactic Security measure, he will no longer need the entourage.

Senate Guard: Sir, the Chancellor is already en route. He will be here shortly.
Mas Amedda: Good. His prior meeting must have gone well.

Mas Amedda: Be sure to mention that Governor Tarkin is waiting.

Mas Amedda: And don’t forget to erase the communications log.

Mas Amedda: Just a security precaution, you understand. Never can be too sure who else is listening. While we wait, would you care to join me for a refreshment?

Tarkin: Thank you, Senator.
Mas Amedda: Did the Chancellor ever tell you the story behind that iron sculpture? What a fiasco that was!

Shade: (thinking) ……deleted the message……but not the historical records……

Shade: (thinking) ……searching……searching……found it……need the recipient’s……location……

Shade: (thinking) ……last transmission sent from……an unpopulated section on Coruscant……

Shade: (thinking) ……coordinates off the map……not part of the working Capital……known as………The Works?

01-13-2006, 10:38 AM

Chapter 18

Following the memorial of Jedi Master Adi Gallia, the Temple is once again full of Jedi preparing to rejoin the War.

Anakin Skywalker: Why has everyone received new orders but us?
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Master Windu is expecting some new intelligence. He specifically wants us to act on that information. But until then, we wait.

Anakin Skywalker: What kind of intelligence?
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Oh, he’s not saying. But based on his tone, it must have something to do with General Grievous. He is determined to find him ever since the attack on Master Gallia.

Anakin Skywalker: What about Dooku? He’s the person I want to hunt down.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Count Dooku has been very elusive. If we discover Grievous, perhaps that will lead us to the location of Dooku and his mysterious Sith Lord.

Anakin Skywalker: And when we defeat them, you’ll have to get used to all the fame that comes with being a hero! You know that means you’ll have to smile, Master!
Obi-Wan Kenobi: If it means the end of the War, then I am willing to just that!

Shaak Ti: Remember, Padawan, a Jedi can feel the Force flowing through them.
Zett Jukassa: Yes, Master.

Zett Jukassa: But why do I have to practice with one just one Sphere? I can destroy ten-times as many. I can pretend I’m on the frontlines of the Clone Wars!

Shaak Ti: Don’t concern yourself with the War, Padawan. Your concentration should be here and now. You must first learn to focus your mind, before you can focus on the things around you. Now, are you ready?
Zett Jukassa: Yes, Master.

Shaak Ti: Then close your eyes……….and begin!

Zett Jukassa: Yah!

Zett Jukassa: I did it! Too easy, Master!
Shaak Ti: Very good, Padawan. However, a moving target is not so easily defeated.

Shaak Ti: It does not matter who is the strongest, Zett. A Jedi must learn to feel the Force. To listen to the will of the Force. Only then will you be one with the Force.
Zett Jukassa: Yes, Master.

Zett Jukassa: When can I spar versus a real opponent? I know how to defend myself. And all of the other Padawans in my class have already passed their lightsaber skills test.

Shaak Ti: Do not compare yourself to you peers. Every Jedi travels down a different path. However, a friendly sparring match would be beneficial for your saber training.

Shaak Ti: You’re too familiar with my style……but how about……Master Kenobi?
Zett Jukassa: Really?! Master Kenobi?!

Shaak Ti: Excuse me, Master Kenobi?

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Hello, Master Ti and Zett.
Shaak Ti: Would you care to have a friendly sparring lesson with Zett? Since he is too familiar with my style, I think he would benefit from working with another Master.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Well, I would certainly like to, but my saber technique has been called……well, simple. I doubt I could teach you anything to be proud of.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: However………my companion, Anakin, would be perfect! I’m sure you have heard about him……from his “fame.”
Anakin Skywalker: Wha?! Who, me?

Zett Jukassa: Really!? No kidding?! Will you show me some of your techniques, Master Skywalker?!

Anakin Skywalker: Well………I don’t know……I have to……sure, I suppose I could show you a thing or two……

Shaak Ti: Now, remember Zett, protect yourself at all times. Trust your instincts.
Zett Jukassa: I will. I know what to do!

Anakin Skywalker: Thanks again, old friend. I owe you one after this.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: This will be good for you, Anakin. You need to stay sharp until our next assignment. Besides, how can you be a Master if you don’t pass down what you have learned? Do try to have fun!

Shaak Ti: Ready? Begin!

Zett Jukassa: Yah!
Anakin Skywalker: Hey! Wait a minute…

Zett Jukassa: Hi-yah!

Zett Jukassa: Take……that!!!
Anakin Skywalker: Calm down, little one……

Zett Jukassa: Yah!
Anakin Skywalker: Hey……be careful……

Zett Jukassa: Take……that!

Anakin Skywalker: Hey……
Zett Jukassa: Yah!

Anakin Skywalker: Take it easy……
Zett Jukassa: And that!

Zett Jukassa: I did it! I defeated Anakin Skywalker!! Wait ‘till everyone hears about this!!!

Zett Jukassa: I should be a Master! I should be on the Jedi Council!

Anakin Skywalker: What??

Shaak Ti: That’s enough, Padawan. A Jedi is never arrogant nor disrespectful.
Zett Jukassa: But……I’m sorry, Master.

Zett Jukassa: But didn’t you see how I took him down……and……
Anakin Skywalker: We’re not done yet, Padawan!

Anakin Skywalker: I’ll show you how to handle a lightsaber!
Zett Jukassa: ………

Anakin Skywalker: You could never defeat me!
Zett Jukassa: ……wait……stop……

Anakin Skywalker: If you want to play for real, then let’s play for real!

Zett Jukassa: Nooo……stop……I didn’t mean to……

Anakin Skywalker: Defend yourself, “Jedi Master!”
Zett Jukassa: Noooooo……please……

Anakin Skywalker: But you said you defeated me?!
Zett Jukassa: ……my lightsaber……that’s not fair……

Anakin Skywalker: How dare you mock me!!! You are no Master! Why should YOU be on the Council??
Zett Jukassa: ……nooooo……(sobbing)……

Obi-Wan Kenobi: ANAKIN! STOP!
Shaak Ti: NOOO!!!

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Let him go, Anakin!
Shaak Ti: This has gone on far enough!!!

Obi-Wan Kenobi: What’s wrong with you?! Have you lost you mind?!
Anakin Skywalker: He deserved it……

Shaak Ti: It’s OK, Zett. It’s all over now. Try to relax.
Zett Jukassa: ……(sobbing)……I’m sorry……

Obi-Wan Kenobi: He is only a Youngling, Anakin! They will say things that cannot be taken seriously. You were no different at that age.
Anakin Skywalker: He wanted a lesson……so I gave him one…...he was mocking me……so I……I......should check on him…...

Anakin Skywalker: Are you alright, Zett? Please excuse my behavior. I was wrong to attack you like that.
Zett Jukassa: ……(sobbing)……I’m sorry……I didn’t mean to……

Mace Windu: Impressive, beating a Youngling. Why don’t you try that against me now?


01-13-2006, 11:12 AM
#18 is a really fun story. Jett is such a kitty. Well worth the wait on that one.

01-13-2006, 11:14 AM
Very well done. Once again most well done story on the boards. I like the whole hunt for the Sith Lord thing, sort of like what Labrynth of Evil was leading up to. Very good use of the Shadow Trooper.

01-13-2006, 11:55 AM
just keeps getting better and better...great shadow trooper action.

Sagev? Could this be SA's first custom...?

01-13-2006, 04:16 PM
Once again, great work on the dialouge.

I like how your showing us glipses of Anakin's darker personality, and a growing rift between him and Mace.

This series is making a better bridge between Episodes II and III than that cartoon on TV did.

01-13-2006, 06:17 PM
Thanks for giving me something to look forward to each week! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/wink.gif You should have written the screenplay for Matrix Reloaded. That was not a good cliffhanger! But that is a totally different series that I won't get into.

Since I can't seem to find any of the Saga Collection, I haven't had much interaction with SW. You manage to keep my interest alive and also make me want to open my Shadow Trooper! Thanks and keep 'em coming (more frequently http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif)

01-13-2006, 06:33 PM
Great work like always! cant wait for the next part!

01-13-2006, 08:40 PM
Wow! Pics of the Coruscant wave and 3 new chapters! All on Friday the 13th! Loved the stories. #18 was my favorite. What would the council say if Anakin went psycho on a youngling! #17 was also good. If they found the trooper sneaking around, and they posted all over that the Jedi told him to do it, that would make the Jedi rebellion seem likely. Hmmm. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/wink.gif

01-13-2006, 10:26 PM
I loved the shadow trooper part I sense a mace anakin duel cant wait great job http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif

01-14-2006, 12:27 AM
Awesome awesome work! I'm LOVING all of it! Can't wait for more updates! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/wink.gif

01-14-2006, 01:33 PM
All right I just got caught up, and Longhorn, this is better than ROTS it's self. Relly like "Vadere's" dark side poping up agnaist Zett. Can't wait for 19.

01-14-2006, 07:56 PM
Another great job on this Longhorn, really great camera angles and I love the ending. I like the anger Anakin showed aganist Zett.

01-14-2006, 08:35 PM
Sorry I haven't had time for detailed replies, but this is another AWESOME chapter which I just re-read.

Just look at the last shot. It's fantastic! Mace entering, Anakin turning to face him, Shaak Ti looking up with concern...The dialogue - you can HEAR the actor's voices in your head!

It's brilliant and the whole damn series is brilliant.

Keep up the tremendous work.

01-23-2006, 11:17 AM
Thanx to everyone for responding and leaving their feedback. Glad no one forgot about my story over the long holiday break. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smile.gif

I wanted to create these chapters for a long time, especially the Anakin/Zett chapter. Zett always gets beat up in my stories! I had to find the right place for this chapter, since it was one of the original ideas I had for the story. Hopefully everyone liks the Mace/Anakin duel coming up.

I had to find a story for the Shadow Trooper. I think everyone will be pleased with his adventure.

No promise on any custom figs. Not my specialty either!

Thanx for the compliments on the photography and dialogue. Those are two things I work on everytime I update the story. Since I lack the knowledge to create digital effects or backgrounds, I try to make everything else look and "read" as real as possible.

I should have another update this week. Just finished the shooting the pics last night, so I just have to work on the dialogue. The story should start picking up some speed from here. Stay tuned!

01-25-2006, 05:25 PM
Good news! I have completed chapters 19, 20, & 21 today.

Since these chapters have a lot of action, the dialogue did not take as long. I tried some different techniques for the dialogue/narration for these chapters.

Enjoy! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

01-25-2006, 05:34 PM

Chapter 19

Anakin Skywalker: Master Windu……nice of you to join us. But like Master Ti said, no need to continue this any further.

Mace Windu: Oh, I understand. You have no problem sparring a boy. But against an opponent of greater skill, you quickly back down.

Mace Windu: Why not show young Zett the difference between a Jedi Knight……and a Jedi Master?

Anakin Skywalker: Very well……I have time for one more lesson today……


Obi-Wan Kenobi: I’ve got a bad feeling about this…



Shaak Ti: Master Yoda will not be pleased.

Mace Windu: Not bad. Obi-Wan as taught you well.

Anakin Skywalker: He has taught me enough……

Mace Windu: But you still have much to learn……like to expect the unexpected.


Anakin Skywalker: Nice shot. That was…..unexpected.

Mace Windu: Stop wasting my time, Skywalker! A Jedi would not be defeated so easily……don’t hold back……show me those “Hero” moves!!!

Anakin Skywalker: As you wish……


Mace Windu: Am I supposed to be impressed?

Anakin Skywalker: You’ll soon find out……



Anakin Skywalker: I grow tired of this…


Obi-Wan Kenobi: The match ends here, Anakin.

Anakin Skywalker: Don’t worry, Master. We are just having fun. If I really wanted to hurt him, I would have…

Mace Windu: In that case, we’re even. Ready for another round?

Obi-Wan Kenobi: But Master Windu……
Anakin Skywalker: Stay out of this, Obi-Wan……whenever you’re ready, Master Windu.



Mace Windu: ………
Anakin Skywalker: ………


Yoda: Useless, this lesson is. Proving only that Jedi can be foolish.

Yoda: What message do we send to the Padawan? To use the Force only to be strong with a lightsaber?

Yoda: Not the way to the Jedi Council, this is, Skywalker. Only cause further doubt among the elder members.

Yoda: But how wise are the elder members, mmmmm, Master Windu?

Yoda: Lose focus, we cannot. Crave power, we cannot. Conspire against others, we cannot. Belong to the Dark Side, these things do.

Zett Jukassa: You were right, Master Ti. Yoda was not pleased.
Shaak Ti: Yes……but I doubt that this will be end of it, Padawan.

01-25-2006, 05:39 PM

Chapter 20

Based on the last transmission received on Palpatine’s holo-computer, Shade traces the coordinates to an abandoned warehouse, far removed from the busy lifestyles of Coruscant.

Shade:(thinking) ……this is the exact place……no one here……

Shade:(thinking) ……footsteps?……coming closer……

Shade:(thinking) ……muffled voices……answers to my questions……

Crimson: We’ve checked everywhere. Let’s get out of here.
Maroon: Not yet. One more time.

Maroon: We have to be sure the place is secure. Follow me.

Crimson: We’ve swept the entire place four times already.
Maroon: Maybe you’re right……wait……I see something…

Maroon: A BARC bike!
Crimson: That wasn’t here last time.

Maroon: Someone is here. Spread out! Shoot first, ask questions later.

Crimson: I’ll check the main platform.

Maroon: And I’ll check the tunnels.

Crimson: Nothing here.
Shade: ……drop your weapon……hands up……turn around……

Shade: ……Royal Security for the Supreme Chancellor……what are you doing way out here……alone?

Crimson: I don’t have to answer any of your questions!!!
Shade: ……arghhhhh……

Crimson: I’ve found him!! He’s over here!!

Shade: ……haven’t answered my questions yet……
Crimson: Hey!

Crimson: Get off of me!!

Crimson: Shoot first, ask questions later.

Shade: ……my thoughts exactly……

Crimson: …………………………

Shade:(thinking) ……no comlink on this guard……must be the other guard……

Maroon: Where are you?

Maroon: This is not good.

Maroon: The speeder bike! Can’t allow him to escape.

Maroon: Still here…so HE is still here.

Maroon: Here we go again…

Maroon: W-W-What was that noise?

Maroon: AH-HA!!!

Maroon: Must be my imagination…got to keep moving…

Maroon: Show yourself!!! Come out and fight!!!

Maroon: Hey……where is your rifle……it was here before…

Maroon: HE must have taken it. I am close…

Shade:(thinking) ……talks too much……

Shade: ……who were you protecting?……tell me now……
Maroon: (gag) I’d rather die than…(gag)…tell you anything!

Shade: ……that can be arranged……
Maroon: (gag) You fool! You can’t kill me! I serve the Republic!

Maroon: If you kill a Royal Guard, you will never leave Coruscant alive! You will become the most wanted man in the galaxy! We are ready to die for the ones we serve!!!

Shade: ……so be it……Royal Guard……

Shade:(thinking) ……talks too much……

Shade:(thinking) ……find the comlink……

Shade:(thinking) ……bingo……

Shade:(thinking) ……what secrets do you hold……

01-25-2006, 05:44 PM

Chapter 21

Meanwhile, in the Oner system, Separatist forces continue to invade new systems while preparing for their next attack.

General Grievous: Attack! Finish him!

A single warrior must fight off the droid armies of the CIS…

…Magna Guards approach the warrior…

…and begin their attack…


…one Magna Guard is struck down…

…while the other Guard attacks from behind…

…but the warrior is ready, taking the electro staff……the Guard is now defenseless…


…for a brief moment…………silence…

…but only for a moment…

…another Magna Guard continues the attack…


…the warrior quickly disarms the droid…

…then begins his own attack…

…by slamming the droid against the wall……decapitating the Magna Guard…

…the droid attempts a final attack…

…but the warrior terminates the droid, without hesitation…

General Grievous: Droidekas!

…droidekas roll and disengage their blasters…

…the warrior, still holding an electro staff,…

…spears one droid…

…then, using the armor of one of the Magna Guards to absorb the laser blasts,…

…approaches the other droid…

…and easily defeats it…

…but the battle is not over…
Battle Droid: Don’t move!

Battle Droid: Hands up---bbbzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Super Battle Droid: Terminate target!


…the warrior is victorious…

…not everyone is pleased…

General Grievous: I’ll finish you myself!

Count Dooku: Stop!

Count Dooku: Lower your weapon. He has nothing more to prove, General.

Count Dooku: Let me be the first to congratulate you, young warrior. Your reputation does not do you justice.

Count Dooku: It is my privilege to meet the great Sagev. Allow me to introduce myself; my name is Count Dooku.

Sagev: I know who you are, Count. You are known to the Outer Rim as the Hero that will defeat the Republic. And your praise is not necessary. My skills have become a necessary evil during this War.

Count Dooku: Indeed……the War against the Jedi has destroyed countless lives. I am but a simple man, trying to bring peace to the galaxy. What are your views on this ongoing struggle versus the Republic?

Sagev: My home planet of Utapau resides in the Outer Rim. My people are proud and strong. Yet, the current administrators have allowed Utapau to become weak, concerning themselves with only with their wealth.
Count Dooku: Very interesting.

Sagev: Tion Medon does not agree with my views to maintain an army of Utapaun warriors. We MUST defend our home from anyone who attempts to invade! Due to my beliefs, I was labeled a terrorist and considered a threat to his power. Therefore, I was exiled from Utapau, never to return. The War will engulf Utapau, it is inevitable. And my people will die and suffer because of Medon’s ignorance!!!

Count Dooku: Your story is similar to that of other Outer Rim worlds. The Jedi do not concern themselves with the safety of systems outside the Republic. Their Armies will invade any planet they feel is necessary to win this War. They cannot be trusted.

Count Dooku: Every system that has joined the Confederacy now has the necessary means to defend themselves against the Republic. Perhaps we can offer that protection to Utapau……in exchange for your services. We could also……perhaps……encourage a new government……one……with a strong leader……

Sagev: If it will save my people and end the reign of Tion Medon, I pledge myself to you and Separatist movement.

Count Dooku: Excellent. With your assistance, Utapau can be spared the destruction of this War. But for now………please tell me more about your home planet, Utapau.

…the warrior will serve us well, My Master…
General Grievous: ……Utapau……

01-25-2006, 06:21 PM
Brilliant!! Brilliant!!

I love the Mace and Anakin fight. The camera angles were perfect and and the dialogue during the fight was great. My favorite chapter was easily Shade. How cunning of a clone he is and how he is loyal to Mace Windu. He's a sly devil as well. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/wink.gif

01-25-2006, 07:24 PM
I'm buying a UTAPAUN warrior ASAP! Great great job man. UGH! Another peg warmer you persuaded me to buy! WHat's next a NEIMOIDIAN COMMANDER! Very creative! The fight with windu, Shade and the guards-just keeps getting better.

01-25-2006, 08:59 PM
WOWEEE! Ah! I love your stories. I love the utapau warrior part, very creative. I always thought Tion was a good man. The shade stuff keeps getting better and the Mace and Anakin fight was brilliant. A+! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif

01-25-2006, 10:07 PM

Awesome, dude....awesome.

Chapter 19-- Loved that duel between Mace and Anakin, thought it was very well done...and that uppercut right into Anakin's mug, GREAT!!!
Yoda's dialouge was RIGHT ON!!!
I swear I could hear him saying those words.
Once again you NAILED the dialouge.
Chapter 20--Fight scenes were great also.
Glad to see a Red Guard getting into it finally. I think yours is the only story where I've seen the Red Guard doing something other than just stand there, so that was cool.
Chapter 21--I'm with Strikeg...I think I want a Utapaun Warrior too!!!!
He was a BAD *****.
I can't believe how cool you made that figure look.
Now THAT'S some good storytelling!!!

01-25-2006, 10:34 PM
another great job! Theres not much that I can say that hasnt already been said... but overall great dialog, poses, and usage of figures!

01-26-2006, 10:14 AM
Oh man I'm so going to be thinking about how I use the force now. Would hate to be chastised from yoda.

Nice use of the Hellraiser guy.

01-26-2006, 12:39 PM
Just saw this at JD and I'm impressed as always.

I'll go back just a step, I am probably in the minority here, but for some reason I just don't like the whole "Shade" sequences. There's great photography here, and the dialogue is good. But something just doesn't sit well with me here. Maybe it's because I don't think that the Royal Guards would really know Palpatine's agenda, they just follow his orders. I don't think they know what's coming, and from the story I get the feeling that they do know, and that they know that Order 66 is coming too. And I think they would't know that Dooku is really "on their side" - I just for some reason have trouble believing that part. Plus, I absolutely dislike the whole Shadow Trooper idea that Hasbro came up with. I guess that puts me in a biased negative towards anything with Shadow Troopers, but that's not against you.

I know that sounded really negative, but it wasn't meant to be. I think you have a great story going on here, and I think it's awesome how you changed the format a bit, showing some description of what was happening. That really helped me a lot and made perfect sense for me.

I really liked the whole Jedi lightsaber duels, especially the Windu fights. Great work there and it shows the inner tension growing within the Jedi Order and Yoda's reaction and dialogue was spot on. The Utapua guard scene was well done; I was surprised to see one guard be able to fight that well. Looks like he could take out a few Jedi if we wanted to, but I was surprised to see his life on the line and then so suddenly taking to the enemy side however. It will be interesting to see what happens with him.

Great work SA!


01-27-2006, 04:23 AM
Really awesome! My favorite part was Anakin going blitzo on the kid.

01-30-2006, 11:07 AM
Thanx for all the feedback, guys. Much appreciated! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Chap 19 (Mace v Anakin) - Toughest part creating this story was the lack of a SA Mace Windu fig. The dialogue was really fun to write for the scene, especially with Yoda at the end. I switched Mace's saber for the SAGA screaming Mace figure. Best purple saber so far, and photograph wells. Anakin has learned from Dooku and Mace now.

Chap 20 (Shade vs Red Guards) - This story will have a big impact in the next update. great fun to work with all three figs, since they are easy to pose. I wanted to make the Guards tough and smart, even tho they get taken out by Shade. All part of the ongoing story. Glad (mostly) everyone is enjoying this character. More to come!

Chap 21 (Sagev vs Droids) - I got the Utapaun Warrior as one of my Xmas gifts, so I did not actually buy him. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smirk.gif
But I immediately thought of a story for him and it really filled a void I had in my DARK ILLUSIONS story. I wish he had ball-jointed shoulders, but he is pretty cool fig. I hope everyone understood the italic narration was written as if Dooku was reporting to Sidious afterwards. Instead of the typical "Yah!" and "Argh!" figting grunts, I wanted to use a descriptive voice as to not reveal what was going on until the end of the chapter, with Dooku testing Sagev with the droids.

Thanx again for all the feedback. I am currently getting ready to begin work on the next update, which may only be 2 chapters since one of the chapter may be very long. Hopefully it will be up in another week. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

01-30-2006, 08:58 PM
Hey, Longhorn, sorry I haven't commented sooner, but I did read and enjoy the hell out of this story when it first debuted.

Another excellent addition! The Anakin/Mace scene was great and, again, your characterizations of the main characters is friggin' excellent! I really love the fact that only Shaak Ti and Yoda are really blameless in the whole ugly incident (I guess Obi Wan, too). But it's nice to see even Mace getting carried away and given how pissy he was in ROTS, it's very believable and very consistent with the films.

I like the Shade character alot, but I agree with Chewie somewhat about his comments about the Royal Guards. I didn't like their inclusion in the last chapters with Dooku. I don't really buy it. IMO, Palp and Dooku are veeery careful about their grand deception. Having Royal guards in the company of Dooku would give the game away. That's the only problem I have in terms of "plausibility" with the story. Besides, Dooku has plenty of droid guards available for his personal use. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smile.gif

I don't really have a problem, though, with the Royal Guards knowing more than the average clone grunt - at least about certain things, as long as they aren't really aware of the Palp/Sidious/Sith situation. Again, it seems like Sidious wouldn't take any chances by clueing anyone else in.

but, aside from that, this is, as always, a stellar piece of work and I can't wait for your next chapters. Bravo.

02-13-2006, 11:01 AM
Sorry, to repsond so late, but it slipped my mind the first time I read your post, LANCE.

I had been wanting to do the Zett/Anakin/Mace/Yoda chapter for a long time, but I needed to setup everything leading up to this chapter. Just a friendly Jedi spat!

The Shade chapter was to continue his ongoing story. His dialogue/thought process is written in a way that he is constantly thinking. That is why his thoughts are always broken up, my attempt for the readers to know what he is thinking, but also realize his thought process. Most thoughts are not complete sentences.

For this story, the Red/Blue Royal Guards are the kind of characters that act first, ask questions later. And like Palpatine/Sidious' relationship with the Clones, they simply follow orders, without regard to Palpatine being evil or good. They serve him, and don't have a life outside of the jobs.

The next update (chapters 22, 23, & 24) are coming, but a being held back a little longer since I am struggling to create the enviornment for chapter 24. I will be taking some test pics today. If they turn out good, then I should have an update later this week. Chapters 22 & 23 are complete and ready to go. I may, may post those 2 chapters by themselves if I take much longer with chapter 24.

Stay tuned! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

02-20-2006, 12:09 PM
Good news! I have finally completed the next three chapters. Sorry for the delay, but chapter 24 took some extra time.

Enjoy! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

02-20-2006, 12:10 PM

Chapter 22

Following an emergency session of the Galactic Senate, Senator Bail Organa waits for Padme Amidala outside the Chancellor’s office.

Captain Antilles: Is it true the Security measured passed, your Majesty?
Bail Organa: Yes, that’s true, and without much resistance. The Chancellor was very successful in gathering support for the measure.

Bail Organa: Once the news spread about two Royal Guards being murdered and dumped at an abandoned warehouse, Senators quickly changed their minds about the need for a Clone Security force. He certainly didn’t need our support, so I’m confused why he wants to meet with Senator Amidala and me so quickly.
Captain Antilles: Perhaps he just wants to thank you for your support. http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c241/S_A_Longhorn3/Dark%20Illusions%20-%20Chap%2022-24/22-2.jpg

Bail Organa: Let’s hope so. I am in no mood to discuss another amendment, which will only result in the Chancellor gaining more power. Prepare the Tantive IV for our trip home. We’ll leave as soon as this meeting concludes.
Captain Antilles: Yes, your Highness.

Bail Organa: Pleasure to see you again, Senator Amidala.
Padme Amidala: And you as well, Bail. I bumped into Senator Tills on my way here. When I mentioned that we were meeting with the Chancellor, he insisted on joining us.

Padme Amidala: He is convinced we will try to persuade the Chancellor to rescind the Security measure, aren’t you, Meena?

Meena Tills: Please don’t misunderstand me. I am just as concerned as you are about the power the Chancellor is gathering. However, this new Security Act will ensure the safety of Coruscant and the Senate.

Meena Tills: I personally have witnessed the consequences of this war. Mon Calamari is still in ruin following the attack by the Separatists. We must protect the Capital at all costs.
Bail Organa: I agree, Senator, but Palpatine has been given the final word on how this new Clone division is used. In short, he controls the only garrison on Coruscant. We must be certain that he does not abuse that power.

Bail Organa: Hopefully, he will give us some insight to his plans during this meeting. My only hope is that he involves the Jedi in some way with this new Clone army.

Meena Tills: That’s a good idea. Perhaps he will. However, this Security Force should only be seen as a positive thing for the Republic.
Bail Organa: Possibly, but what Jedi would sacrifice fighting in the War to remain here on Coruscant fulltime?
Padme Amidala: (whispering) I know of one………

Scarlet: Halt! Show your identification.

Bail Organa: Is that really necessary? We’ve never been asked to show identification before. I am Senator Bail Organa of Alderaan, and this is Senators Amidala and Tills.

Scarlet: Your names appear on the list of guests. You may proceed.
Bail Organa: Thank you. I can understand your concern.

Mas Amedda: Welcome Senators. We’ve been expecting you.
Bail Organa: Senators Amidala and Tills have accompanied me today, Mas.

Mas Amedda: Yes, of course. The Chancellor welcomes any opportunity to speak with a Senator on a one-to-one basis.

Padme Amidala: Where is the Chancellor now?

Mas Amedda: He is speaking to Governor Tarkin.

Mas Amedda: But he wanted to begin the meeting as soon as you arrived, Senators. Here he comes now.

Chancellor Palpatine: Please excuse my rudeness for not greeting you myself. It seems everyone is excited about the new Galactic Security. Welcome, Senators Organa and Amidala.

Bail Organa: Please allow me introduce Senator Meena Tills of Mon Calamari.
Chancellor Palpatine: Yes, of course. I was saddened to hear about the devastation on to your home world, Senator.
Meena Tills: Thank you, Chancellor. We are on our way to a full recovery, thanks to the Republic and Jedi Master Fisto.

Chancellor Palpatine: Well then, let us begin. Thank you for joining me today, to celebrate the passing of the Galactic Security measure. Coruscant will be forever thankful for our work today, Senators.

Chancellor Palpatine: Due to our hard work and dedication, Coruscant will soon be protected by specially trained Clones. These two new divisions will be the best troops we’ve ever had.

Chancellor Palpatine: However, we must not forget the terrible murders of the two Royal Guards. Let us now look upon their tragic loss as the beginning of a more safe and secure Republic.

Padme Amidala: Does that include a Peace Summit with the leaders of the Confederacy, Chancellor?

Chancellor Palpatine: I hope so, Senator. You must know that I personally want nothing more than a peaceful end to this War.

Chancellor Palpatine: But it may prove difficult to convince the Separatist leaders to come to Coruscant……Security Force or not.
Governor Tarkin: I volunteer my home world of Eriadu to hold the Peace Summit. We have learned from our previous mistakes during the Valorum administration, I assure you.

Meena Tills: We must hold the Summit here on Coruscant, for that is the reason many Senators voted for the Security measure. Eriadu is in the Outer Rim, Governor, and not a part of the Republic.

Chancellor Palpatine: Senator Tills is right. The Summit, if one were to be held, must be on Coruscant. That is one point that I will not concede. But first, we must have the Security force in place before any Summit can be organized.

Bail Organa: How long will that take? Clones require ten years to mature.

Chancellor Palpatine: I have good news, Senators! I have just received confirmation from Kamino about a new batch of Clones that were trained for this exact purpose. They were originally created to protect Kamino from any invasion. However, they have agreed to donate these troops to the Republic. They should arrive in a few days.
Bail Organa: And what about the Jedi? Will they be involved with this new Clone battalion?

Chancellor Palpatine: It did occur to me during the debates that one Jedi should work closely with the new troops. Perhaps the Council can recommend someone.

Chancellor Palpatine: As soon as the troops arrive, I will speak with the Jedi Order regarding this matter. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must begin preparing for my public announcement.

Chancellor Palpatine: I greatly appreciate your time and your support, Senators. Only together can we restore peace to the Republic.

Governor Tarkin: I have urgent matters I must attend to on Eriadu. If you’ll excuse me, gentlemen…M’Lady.

Bail Organa: Can you believe the coincidence that Kamino just happen to have these Clones so readily available?
Padme Amidala: No. Why would Kamino need their own security force if the Republic is already protecting Kamino?
Meena Tills: I agree. There is something not right about this.

Meena Tills: Nevertheless, we have Palpatine’s assurances that he will pursue a diplomatic solution. And that he will consult with the Jedi Order.

Bail Organa: We have at least that much. His motives seem well-intended, but everything is happening so quickly. I look forward to his speech and the reaction from the Republic.

Padme Amidala: The reaction will be nothing but positive. He is even more popular with the people than he is in the Senate. But we should discuss these matters elsewhere.

Padme Amidala: We never know who could be listening……

02-20-2006, 12:12 PM

Chapter 23

Jedi Master Mace Windu receives an urgent message for a confidential meeting on a rooftop in the nightclub section of Coruscant.


Shade: ……you’re late……

Mace Windu: How long have you been here? This is a very public place.

Shade: ……no worry……no one looks up……down here…… http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c241/S_A_Longhorn3/Dark%20Illusions%20-%20Chap%2022-24/23-4.jpg

Mace Windu: Very well. Please tell me that your investigation didn’t have anything to do with the murders of the Royal Guards.

Shade: They were traitors to the Republic!!!

Shade: They betrayed their oath……to protect the Republic……they deserved to be executed……

Mace Windu: No one deserves to die, including traitors.

Shade: ……really?……there are a lot of people……that would disagree with you, Jedi……

Shade: ……besides……the information I found……may prove to be more valuable……than their lives……

Mace Windu: What did you find?
Shade: ……not what……but where……

Shade: ……a message sent to an unidentified warrior……to go to a planet in the Outer Rim…… and meet someone there……
Mace Windu: Meet who? It could be Sidious or even Count Dooku.

Shade: ……doesn’t say……but their data pad does have……the coordinates to the Outer Rim planet……

Mace Windu: Which planet in the Outer Rim?

Shade: ……too difficult to tell……the coordinates are well outside the Republic’s maps……

Mace Windu: Do you have any information on the warrior? Could it be another bounty hunter?

Shade: ……no information about the warrior either……

Shade: ……but I will travel to the Outer Rim……and find this “warrior”……

Mace Windu: Do not, I repeat, DO NOT engage the enemy. Wait until we arrive. Is that clear?

Shade: ……unless……it is absolutely necessary……you have my word, Jedi……keep the data pad……

Mace Windu: ………

Mace Windu: Gone……

02-20-2006, 12:13 PM

Chapter 24

Following the memorial for Adi Gallia, Jedi Master Saesee Tiin and Commander EZ are ordered to begin searching for the Separatist Leaders in the Outer Rim.

Epsilon: Did you hear the rumor? Grievous is supposed to be hiding out here in the Outer Rim. And we were the battalion chosen to find him!

Zeta: Really? In that case, care to make a friendly wager? First one to find Grievous, wins…and loser does the winner’s cleaning detail for a month.
Epsilon: You’re on!

Commander EZ: Pipe down, troopers! We’re about to land. Gather your weapons.
Epsilon & Zeta: Yes, sir.

Commander EZ: This is a reconnaissance mission, not a war party. And any more mention of gambling will be reported directly to the Chancellor’s office, is that understood?
Epsilon & Zeta: YES, SIR!!!

Commander EZ: Epsilon and Zeta have volunteered themselves to begin the search. I will remain on board and monitor their progress.
Saesee Tiin: No.

Commander EZ: But General, scouting is a job for troopers…not Commanders. I suggest we remain with the Gunship in case---
Saesee Tiin: No.

Commander EZ: But what if ---
Saesee Tiin: No! We will all participate in this mission, Commander.

Eta: General Tiin, we are approaching the landing zone. Scanners have picked up a large life-form, moving East.

Saesee Tiin: Pay no mind to it. We are looking for small pathetic, life-forms, such as Nemodians. Begin the landing process.
Eta: Yes, General.

Saesee Tiin: Are your men ready, Commander?
Commander EZ: Yes, General. We have a full squad of nine.

Commander EZ: Impossible Jedi.
Theta: Yes, sir.

Theta: Hey……
Commander EZ: Watch it……you call that a landing?? Pilot, I shall report you to the---

Iota: That wasn’t us, sir. We were already on the ground when that tremor occurred.
Commander EZ: Are we under attack?!

Iota: No, sir. The vibration resonated from the ground. Scanners indicate the shockwave came from the large life-form.
Commander EZ: Then, this mission just got more complicated. Keep an eye on the life-form, pilot. Let’s go, trooper.
Theta: Yes, sir.

Kappa: All clear, sir. No sign of any droids.

Theta: What planet is this?
Commander EZ: Don’t worry about that, trooper. The sun is beginning to rise.

Saesee Tiin: Then we should move quickly.

Commander EZ: Another tremor……hold on……..

Epsilon: What is that thing?!
Commander EZ: That shockwave was stronger than the previous one.
Saesee Tiin: The creature is just testing us. Ignore it, and it will ignore you. Keep your focus on the task at hand.

Commander EZ: Pilots, remain with the Avenger. We’ll be in contact.
Iota: Yes, sir.

Commander EZ: You heard the General. Let’s move out, troopers.

Eta: Sir, scanners have picked up something……this direction.

Theta: I have it on my scope……we have confirmation……a battle droid.
Commander EZ: Good, our first catch of the day.

Theta: There’s only one. No wonder the Avenger didn’t see him, sir.

Commander EZ: The Droid Army must have just arrived. They’re setting up their radar.

Commander EZ: Trooper, call for reinforcements.
Theta: Yes, sir.
Saesee Tiin: No. Hold your position.

Saesee Tiin: Let’s follow him.


Saesee Tiin: A single battle droid couldn’t have wandered far from the other droids.
Commander EZ: You’re right, General. More droids straight ahead.

Commander EZ: They’re setting up another radar station. Only a few droids though.

Commander EZ: Their base should be nearby---
(A tree branch snaps!)

Battle Droid: Intruders! Open fire!

Commander EZ: Troopers…Fire!!! Fire!!! Fire!!!

Theta: They’re down, sir!

Eta: Not all of them……destroyer droid!

Commander EZ: Let the Jedi handle that one.


Commander EZ: General, there is no doubt that the Separatists are here. We must call for reinforcements.

Saesee Tiin: Not yet, Commander. We still don’t know why they’re here, or how big their droid army is. Perhaps this will give us a clue.

Saesee Tiin: This is no radar station……it’s a turret. Specifically, an anti-aircraft turret. The Separatists are building a base.

Saesee Tiin: Commander, have your men destroy these turrets. We must find the base quickly.
Commander EZ: Yes, General.


Theta: What about that creature, sir?
Commander EZ: We may have to do some exterminating. But first, tell Central Command to have a battalion ready to deploy. Have them monitor the system for arriving Trade Federation ships.

Commander EZ: Tell them we found something......in the Oner System.

To be continued…

Special thanx to STRIKEG for the additional effects added to picture 24-34b, where the Clones fire back. Great work, STRIKEG! Check out his website, FettsBest.com (http://fettsbest.com/) .

02-20-2006, 02:28 PM
Another terrific update! A great mix of intrigue, followed by action.

I will try to give more detailed comments in the coming days, but I really dig this story, as always. I loved the Shade sequence, he's a very cool character and I'm very hooked into the story/mystery.

The sets for the chancellor's office were very imaginatively made. Great job.

02-20-2006, 03:20 PM
Commented more at JD, here is what I wrote there, or most of it at least -

I think I noticed one typo. In one of the frames where Windu is speaking with Shade, the word "to" should read "too" where he says "to difficult to tell." Also when they are talking about some creature that is making the ground shake they refer to it as "the" creature in the first frame where it is mentioned, like the whole crew already know what it is... maybe referring to it as "a" creature or lifeform here would be better, but maybe not.

Also, to me I am surprised to see Shade and another clone with Saesee arguing so much with the Jedi... just seems a little out of line. Shade just seems kind of bossy to me. I think they follow orders without question from the Jedi until Order 66. But I guess there could be a few that think more independently than others. I was also surprised to see Saesee calling the Nemoidians pathetic lifeforms, I thought he would have a bit more respect than that but perhaps not, it's a trying war.

But there were some things I really like about this too, especially the first chapter in Palpatine's office. You do a great job on those sets, it really feels like you are watching a deleted scene or something from the Clone Wars here. Great work on the set and the dialogue is great. I like Bail's role here a lot and Padme in the robes to hide her belly are a good touch.

I also liked the setting where they land on the planet. It kind of has a Felucia feel to it. I really like how you use Battle Droids in these, do you have a few more for a shot of more than one at a time? Just would be cool to see more than one of them at once as they are the grunts in the droid army.

Good job here, I'm looking forward to seeing how this one goes. How many more chapters are going to be in it?


02-20-2006, 04:35 PM
Thanx LANCE & CHEWIE! Always good to hear from you guys.

LANCE: Look forward to your detailed comments. Shade is a working character and should have some more action scenes coming up. Glad you like Palpatine's office and story so far. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smile.gif

CHEWIE: I copied part of my response from JD:

I corrected the typo. Grammer was never my strong point. The Clones refer to it as a "life-form" until Saesee Tiin refers to it as "the creature". From there, the Clones refer to it as "the creature" since the "wise" Jedi called it that.

The Clones personality is something I am taking some freedoms with. The basic grunt Clones follow orders without question. But the Commanders all have their own personalities. Cmdr EZ was in chapter 15, when he got into a "ruckus' with Bacara. He is known as "anal", as FLACKS described him. Saesee Tiin is a very different Jedi compared to Yoda, Mace, Obi-Wan, or Shaak Ti. He is a quiet, no-nonsense type of guy, which easily conflicts with EZ's "commander" personality. But EZ does follow Tiin's orders, but he does like to hear himself talk "commander".

I only have one battle droid http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/crazy.gif, but if anybody wants to send me some more, by all means.... http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smile.gif

There will be one more Act and perhaps an Epilogue. Still got a while to go. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

02-20-2006, 06:12 PM
Another brilliant edition to the storys Longhorn. I personally like the Obi-Wan robe on Tinn. The sets again are great and the camera angles you capture are fantastic. I wonder what the creature is.

02-20-2006, 08:41 PM
Awesome update! It makes me want more! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif

02-20-2006, 10:50 PM
You know what I really like about your stuff Longhorn?
It's the detail you put into all the frames, the way you make sure to reposition all the figures in a shot, even the background ones. This was very evident in Chapter 22, moving Antillies head slightly, moving Palps hands a certain way...it all adds to the realism.
And I like how you brought this special clone unit discussion into the story, It's pretty cool how you tie things in from the movies.

Great job as always
and yeah, I'm pretty amped to see this creature too.

02-21-2006, 10:57 AM
Thanx again for the feedback guys. Always keeps me motivated to begin working on the next chapters. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smile.gif

SPECIAL OPS: A simple custom by me, to use Obi-Wan's robe on Saesee Tiin. That robe works well on any fig, if you can arrange their arms straight. Sometimes the camera angles are are difficult b/c of space or lighting. I do try to change the distance and angle for chapters that have a lot of talking, like 22 and 23. The sets were harder this time, especially for the Clones battle. I was trying to create a new, different "planet" that I had not used before. I'm running out of ideas!

REDD: Glad to hear from you, REDD. Always good to have your readers wanting more. More, and the best yet to come.

FLACKS: Thanx for noticing the positioning of the figs. I try to move every fig in each pic if I take multiple shots of the same scene for that exact reason, more realism. The shot of Palpatine telling Padme that he wants "nothing else but peace" came out great. I have been slowly building towards the Special Clone Security for a while, so I was glad to get to this part of the story. Look forward to using that "Special" Clone security. Things will begin to change from here.

The "creature" is coming soon. Haven't decided exactly when or how to show him, but he is coming. Adds a little suspense. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

Thanx again for all the feedback!

02-21-2006, 02:43 PM
Fanstastic job Longhorn! When chapter 24 was over, I acutally said "damn" out loud! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

02-21-2006, 05:32 PM
Clone Commander: I let out an evil laugh after I read your post! Stay tuned for the next update. At this rate, it should be up in another month. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

For those who have already read the latest chapter, #24, check it out AGAIN since I swapped out one of the action pics for a new pic with some added special effects. Look for the pic where Cmdr. EZ and his troops fire back at the droids.

Special thanx to STRIKEG for the additional effects added to picture. Great work, STRIKEG! Check out his website, FettsBest.com (http://fettsbest.com/) .

02-21-2006, 06:11 PM
Wow. Those special effects are great! Cool. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

03-10-2006, 10:29 AM
My story is way down the list now..... http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/frown.gif

Just giving an update: the next chapters (25, 26, & 27) are coming! I hope to post these chapters by next Friday. I have been really lazy and slow to create these chapters, but I think they are coming out good since I am taking my time.

Check back next week! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

03-11-2006, 02:29 AM
When Cody comes out you going to do another clone commanders on break part?My guess would Cody would be the tough guy?

03-13-2006, 12:44 PM
When Cody comes out you going to do another clone commanders on break part?My guess would Cody would be the tough guy?

Maybe...if I can find him or any of his grunts! NO luck so far. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/mad.gif

Well, I am finally done with the next three chapters!! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/crazy.gif
The story changed a bit from my original order, but should work better for you, the readers.

Enjoy!!! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

03-13-2006, 12:50 PM

Chapter 25

After a receiving a direct order, Separatist leaders Nute Gunray and Rune Haako from the Trade Federation arrive on Oner.

General Grievous: Welcome to the Oner System, Viceroy. I hope your trip wasn’t too rough for you.

Nute Gunray: This is outrageous! How dare you bring us here!

Nute Gunray: The Republic’s Armies have made you a priority target! If they capture you, they will also capture us! And our capture will result in the end of this War……and the end of your expensive droid army!

General Grievous: If it were up to me, Viceroy, you would already be dead. May I remind YOU that your life is no more valuable to me than a Jedi’s.

Rune Haako: Your arrogance will cost us all our lives, General.
Nute Gunray: Enough of this! I demand an update on the War! Why have you brought us here, so close to the War?

General Grievous: It was not my choice to bring you here, Viceroy.

Count Dooku: The choice was Lord Sidious’. We are in no danger, Viceroy, I can assure you. We are fully aware of the Republic’s forces. Their blind, relentless pursuit of the General’s army has strung them from one side of the galaxy to the other.

Nute Gunray: Then we must attack them immediately! This is our opportunity to finally win this War.
Count Dooku: Really? Then tell me, Viceroy……where should we attack? What objective would we accomplish?

Nute Gunray: Well……I think……it’s possible that……I…don’t know…
Rune Haako: We only question the progress of the War, Count……nothing more……

Count Dooku: Then, trust me when I say the War is progressing exactly as my Master predicted. Very soon the Republic will crumble, and then the Trade Federation will become the strongest and richest federation in the galaxy.

Nute Gunray: We trust you, Count……and Lord Sidious.
Rune Haako: But what about this mysterious warrior…Sagev? Can we trust him? What if he is a spy for the Jedi?

Count Dooku: He has no love for the Jedi, believe me. Sagev has pledged himself to us. In exchange, I have offered his home world of Utapau protection from the Armies of the Republic.

Rune Haako: You assume too much, Dooku.
Nute Gunray: Yes, and we have too much at stake to lose everything because of some freelance warrior.

Count Dooku: I understand your concerns. That is why I have brought you to the Oner System.

Count Dooku: Allow me to give you a glimpse of my Master’s plan. As we speak, a Clone division has landed on Oner, led by Jedi Master Saesee Tiin……and they are on their way here.
Nute Gunray: What?! What did you say?!

Count Dooku: You can relax, Viceroy. As I said before, we are fully aware of the Republic’s armies. They are no threat to us, as you will soon see.

Count Dooku: You may begin when ready.
Battle Droid over comlink: Roger roger!

03-13-2006, 12:52 PM

Chapter 26

Shmi Skywalker: Don’t be afraid, Annie. He just wants your help. And if you can help him, you should.
Anakin Skywalker: But mom……those Jawas are disgusting creatures!

Anakin Skywalker: Besides……he wouldn’t help us.
Shmi Skywalker: Then set a good example.

Shmi Skywalker: Besides, I’ll be right here if you need me. Now go…
Anakin Skywalker: Awwwww…….

Jawa: Eee-chee!!
Anakin Skywalker: Hi there. Gonk droid not working again, huh? Let me take a look.

Anakin Skywalker: There you go……good as new! His shifter was loose.

Anakin Skywalker: You were right mom. He just wanted his droid fixed.
Shmi Skywalker: You see? You had nothing to be afraid of. I’m so proud of you, Annie.

Shmi Skywalker: The biggest problem in this universe is no one helps each other.

Anakin Skywalker: Mom……

Anakin Skywalker: …………

While contemplating his most recent vision, Anakin returns to Padme’s apartment.

Anakin Skywalker: ………

Padme Amidala: Anakin!
Anakin Skywalker: I’ve missed you, Padme

Padme Amidala: Are you alright? You seemed…….troubled.
Anakin Skywalker: I’m fine now.

Padme Amidala: Good, because I wanted to talk to you about something-----
Anakin Skywalker: Obi-Wan was here…

Padme Amidala: Yes, he came by earlier looking for you. http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/dealianres/Dark%20Illusions%20-%20Chap%2025-27/26-15.jpg

Padme Amidala: Annie……Obi-Wan mentioned a fight between you and a Padawan?

Anakin Skywalker: Obi-Wan exaggerates. It wasn’t a fight. Zett got a little excited……and……I……knocked him down.

Padme Amidala: Is he alright?
Anakin Skywalker: He’s fine. Master Ti and Windu were there. But enough about that……I heard the Senate finally passed the Galactic Security Act.

Padme Amidala: Yes, we did. It passed with a landslide vote. The Chancellor was pleased, to say the very least.

Anakin Skywalker: That’s good news!

Anakin Skywalker: I’ll feel better knowing that you’re safe when I leave.
Padme Amidala: Oh? You’re leaving again? When?

Anakin Skywalker: Master Windu has plans for Obi-Wan and me. I’m sure Obi-Wan knows by now, but he hasn’t told me.
Padme Amidala: Perhaps it’s best for the details to remain confidential until everything has been confirmed. Besides……the Council has a lot of things to worry about, including the new Security Force.

Padme Amidala: Senator Organa proposed a Jedi be assigned to work closely with the new Clone Security, to be sure their authority is not abused. The Chancellor is supposed to discuss it with the Council.

Anakin Skywalker: Protection is a job for Clones, not Jedi! Every Jedi is needed in the battlefield right now.

Padme Amidala: I was hoping……you would volunteer.
Anakin Skywalker: What? Why?

Anakin Skywalker: Padme, you know the Republic needs me to win this War. I have to be out there. I should be out there right now!
Padme Amidala: But what about Dooku? If he can walk in here, what’s to stop him from attacking the entire Capital? If you work with the Clone Security, it allows you to be here……on Coruscant……with me……

Anakin Skywalker: But that’s why I have leave, Padme. So that I can take the fight to him! You have to understand. I’m doing this for us……for the Republic.

Padme Amidala: I’m starting to think this War will never end. It’s tearing apart the Republic. Palpatine continues to amend the Constitution. And now, we have a garrison on Coruscant.

Anakin Skywalker: The Chancellor is trying to end this War, Padme. And at the same time, he is trying to protect the Capital, that’s all
Padme Amidala: I know he’s your mentor, but even a good man can be wrong sometimes.

Padme Amidala: But enough of this. You have a lot on your mind as it is. Just make me a promise…
Anakin Skywalker: A promise?

Padme Amidala: Promise me you will at least think about working with the new Clone division? You don’t have to decide right now……just promise me that you will think about it.

Anakin Skywalker: I will……for you……I will……

03-13-2006, 12:53 PM

Chapter 27

As Saesee Tiin and Commander EZ continue their search for the Separatist base on the planet of Oner, clone pilots Eta & Iota remain with the gunship, Avenger.

Eta: What does their latest report say?

Iota: General Tiin and Commander EZ have discovered four more turrets. No sight of the base yet.

Iota: Our orders are to remain here. And to be on the lookout.
Eta: Yes, sir.

Eta: The creature has moved away. It appears to be following the squad.
Iota: General Tiin was right. But with darkness falling, the squad will have a hard time seeing it, much less any battle droids.

Eta: Did you hear that?

Iota: What? The creature? Yea, I heard it.

Eta: No, not that……something else……
Iota: Like what?

Eta: It sounded like……

Eta: BATTLE DROIDS!!! Ambush!! Ambush!!

Iota: Open fire!!!

Iota: They’re flanking us! Inside the ship!

Iota: Come in…come in Commander EZ……we’re under attack! Four battle droids identified! Requesting backup!

Iota: They’re jamming our signal! We’re on our own! Take out as many as you can!
Eta: Yes, sir!

Eta: More droids coming! There’s too many of them!
Iota: We’re not going to hold out here for long……we better move!!

Iota: AAAHHH!! I’m hit!!! Go! Get out of here! We’re being over-run!!
Eta: No……I can’t……not without you…

Eta: Yes, sir……

Eta: More droids……

Eta: Got to clear a path…

Eta: Gotcha!

Eta: Oh……not good……more droids……

Eta: …keep them at a distance……I might still get out of here.

Eta: Halt!!! Who are you?!?!

Eta: Too fast……UGHHHH……

Eta: uuuuggghhhh……

Sagev: Where is the Jedi?

Eta: ……don’t know……what you’re talking about……on a peace mission……

Sagev: Then you’ve failed!

Sagev: He’s dead. Where’s the other one?

Iota: ……ughh……losing blood……need a bacta tank……

Sagev: You’ll need much more than a bacta tank IF you don’t tell me the location of the Jedi! Do not test my patience.

Iota: ……massive blood loss……I need a bacta tank first……
Sagev: How’s this?


Sagev: One less clone for the Republic.

Sagev: Droid, check their communications. And notify Dooku we’ve secured their gunship.

Meanwhile, back at the base on Oner…

Sagev over comlink: ……we’ll soon have the location of the Jedi.

Count Dooku: You see, Viceroy. Everything is under control. You may begin landing your ships.
Nute Gunray: Excellent, my Lord.


03-13-2006, 02:24 PM
Your work continues to be stellar. I always eagerly await the next chapters. Keep it up.

03-13-2006, 03:50 PM
Copied by reply from JD -

Wow, I wasn't expecting another update so quickly! I like the additional Battle Droids in this one.

The first chatper was great, that was a great environment you used, something totally new and fresh. Well done on the dialogue here, Nute Gunray was perfect. Tha't exactly how I think he would act in the given situation.

The second chapter was nice too, it's always hard to write those Anakin/Padme scenes but you did a good job. Too bad there aren't more Padme figures to use for scenes like that but you did a great job with it. The little elephants seemed a bit out of line with what you might see, but still a good set piece.

The final chapter was really good too, nice seeing clone pilots in the action some. I am curious what the "creature" is though. I wonder what it could be?


03-13-2006, 06:19 PM
Wow! They just keep getting better. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

03-13-2006, 10:18 PM
Hey good for you!
You got your Nute and Rune!
Really liked the back and forth between Grevious and the Neimoidians, you did a very good job there. And the Evo cape looks good on that Dooku, I've actually done the same with mine. (Hey, does that count as a custom???)
Anakin's dream might just be my favorite scene you've ever done. It was perfect. The dialogue, the photography, the whole idea. Perfect, just perfect.
I can't say enough about it, you really knocked that one out of the park.
Fight scene was great, I'm really liking that Sagev character. Great idea you had there to introduce him last time, hope to see more of him.
"Then you’ve failed!"---great line.

Great job again Longhorn.

03-14-2006, 06:12 PM
Wow thats a first. We get to see Clone Pilots in action. Dialogue nearly flawless and I'm loving this new planet. Now I have to think how Tinn is going to get out of this.

Great addition. Whens the next update? http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif

03-14-2006, 06:46 PM
I really liked the work on the Ani & Padme chapter. It seemed very plausible (in my mind anyway) and you managed to work around Padme's lack of articulation VERY well. In this, and all chapters, nice work, man!

03-16-2006, 01:01 PM
Thanx to everyone that left feedback. Meant to comment yesterday, but ran short of time:

RATM Welcome! Glad to read your enjoying the story and thanx for leaving some feedback. Hopefully another update soon, but a few weeks away most likely.

CHEWIE Commented over at JD. Gunray and Haako are always fun, just glad I found them. We do need more Padme figs! I voted for her in the ToyFair poll. The "creature" is coming up soon.

REDD Thanx for compliments! Always trying to bring something fun or different evertime out.

FLACKSGUY Glad the dialogue b/w GG and Gunray/Haako was on target. And the Evo cape on ROTS Dooku counts as a custom in my book! Surprised to read your comments about Anakin's dream. I re-worked that part several times before settling on that sequence. I had to get a short sequence with Annie' mom. Glad you liked it! Sagev is a fun character, since I am free to create his personality. He will have some more cool scenes the rest of the way. Thanx for the feedback!

SPECIALOPSUNIT Always happy to hear the dialogue read easily. The new planet, ONER, has been a challenge to work with, but has come out decently in the pics. There will be some new locations on ONER in upcoming chapters. The next chapters will deal with Saesee Tiin and his squad. Stay tuned!!!

P3NDR4GON Thanx for leaving your comments and welcome! The Ani/Padme chapters are hard to shoot since they are all so dialogue-heavy. Glad the chapter was received so well. We need more Padme figs!!! with articulation!!!

Thanx for all the feedback guys. Beginning to work on the next chatpers this week. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

03-31-2006, 12:16 PM
Another update! Below are chapters 28, 29, and 30.

The dialogue and narrative sound effects kept me from posting this earlier. Hopefully the story still works, but I am open to suggestions to improve the dialogue.

Enjoy! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

EDIT - SHELLACHEAD volunteered to add some special effects into the battle sequences. Usually I don't use any special effects for my pics, but for the battle to really work, the laser blasts were necessary. Special thanx to SHELLACHEAD for bring to life some of the action pics. Excellent work! I'll be adding more as they become available.

03-31-2006, 12:21 PM

Chapter 28

Jedi Master Saesee Tiin and Commander EZ continue their search for the Separatist base on Oner, while destroying more anti-aircraft turrets.

Commander EZ: Another turret? What is that? Number 12?

Saesee Tiin: 15.

Commander EZ: Theta, contact the Avenger. Tell them do conduct another sweep of the area and determine how close that creature is.
Theta: Yes, sir.

Theta: Come in, Avenger, come in……

Theta: No response, sir.
Commander EZ: We’re probably out of range. I suggest we return to the ship, General.
Saesee Tiin: ……hmmmm……

Saesee Tiin: ……there’s something is not right here…
Theta: Sir, our signal is being jammed.

Commander EZ: Impossible! Who would be jamming us? http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b260/S_A_Longhorn2/Dark%20Illusions%20Chapters%2028-30/28-7.jpg

Saesee Tiin: The gunship……is lost. We better get moving.
Commander EZ: What?! How do you know that?

Saesee Tiin: We’re being hunted now. And not just by that creature. Let’s move.

Commander EZ: And go where? General, with all due respect, we don’t even know where we are. I suggest we discuss this first before we---

Saesee Tiin: MOVE! NOW!

Epsilon: There is something moving out there……

Commander EZ: Troopers……form a circle around me and the General! Immediately!
Clone Troopers: YES, SIR!

Commander EZ: Steady……wait for it…
Saesee Tiin: This is not a good idea, Commander. We should head for higher ground.

Upsilon: Battle droids!!!

Commander EZ: Open fire!!!


Upsilon I’m hit!
Commander EZ: Keep firing! Keep firing!!!

Epsilon: More battle droids on this side!

Zeta: Great…more target practice!
Epsilon: Droideka!!!! COVER!!! COVER!!!

Zeta: Too late……
Epsilon: Argh…..

Lambda: More droids……behind us!

Commander EZ: Fall back!!! Fall back!!!

Saesee Tiin: Head for the woods!



Lambda: They’re pursuing us!
Kappa: Returning fire!!!

Lambda: Look out! Magna droid!!! Uggghhh……..

Kappa: I’m hit……there’s too many of them…

Commander EZ: My rifle is jammed! My rifle is jammed! Cover me!!!
Omicron: Y-Y-Yes, sir…

Commander EZ: Nevermind……make a run for it!!!
Theta: Yes, sir!

Omicron: What was that? I didn’t copy?? S-S-Sir?

Omicron: Aaahhhh!!!!!

Battle Droid 252C: The 2 remaining clones have moved into the woods.
Sagev: Let them go.

Sagev: It is the Jedi we want.

Saesee Tiin: Just me?

Sagev: Your mission has failed. Your men have deserted you. Surrender now, Jedi!

Saesee Tiin: Never.



Sagev: The situation is hopeless. I’ll give you one last chance to surrender, Jedi!

Saesee Tiin: The Force is my ally.

Saesee Tiin: Now tell me, young warrior. You don’t seem to be part of the Separatists movement, so who do you fight for?
Sagev: You fool! I fight for my people! The people that the Republic has forsaken!

Saesee Tiin: What people? Where do you come from? And who recruited---

Saesee Tiin: Grievous!
General Grievous: JEDI SCUM!!!




General Grievous: What’s the matter, Jedi? Tiring already?
Saesee Tiin: Your arrogance is your weakness, General.

General Grievous: And your ignorance is yours! Get him!!
Saesee Tiin: Can’t you fight your own fights, General?

Saesee Tiin: Ugghh…
General Grievous: Of course I can…

General Grievous: …if I wanted you dead!

General Grievous: Actually, your death would be preferable to what awaits you, Jedi.
Saesee Tiin: …ugh……

General Grievous: Bring him to the base.
Battle Droid 252C: Yes, sir.

General Grievous: Count Dooku will be most pleased.

Meanwhile, deep within the woods of Oner…

Commander EZ: (panting) Are we……in the…clear….
Theta: (panting) Yes, sir……the droids……have given up their……pursuit…

Commander EZ: (panting) How many men with us?
Theta: (panting) It is just us, sir. No one else made it out.

Commander EZ: What?! But how can……I gave everyone the order to retreat!
Theta: Yes, sir.

Commander EZ: This rock……just moved……
Theta: Sir……

Theta: ……I don’t think that’s a rock.
Commander EZ: Then what is it…………

Commander EZ: It’s the creature!!! Take him down!!!
Theta: Yes, sir!

Theta: Sir?? Where are you going?!?!


Commander EZ: Have to……get back……to the ship……

Commander EZ: AAAHHH!!!

Commander EZ: You won’t take me without a fight!!

Commander EZ: AARGH….my ribs!!!!


Special thanx to SHELLACHEAD for adding the laser blasts, lightsabers, and other special effects. Awesome work, buddy!

03-31-2006, 12:29 PM

Chapter 29

Following the battle, the Trade Federation completes the landing of their remaining core ships.

Viceroy Gunray: All of our ships have landed, Count Dooku. What about the Jedi? Is he dead yet?

Count Dooku: You need not worry about Master Tiin. We have him well under control. General Grievous is interrogating him as we speak.

Rune Haako: What?! You didn’t kill him?!
Viceroy Gunray: This is outrageous! It is too dangerous to hold a Jedi captive!

Count Dooku: Yes, Master Tiin is still alive. He is much more valuable to us alive than dead, Viceroy.

Viceroy Gunray: I do no agree with this, Count. What would Lord Sidious say?
Count Dooku: My Master has full knowledge of this plot. But perhaps you would feel better if you saw the Jedi yourself. Follow me…

Count Dooku: Trust me when I say everything is proceeding as planned.

General Grievous: Pull! I want to see him suffer!
Saesee Tiin: …………

General Grievous: Pathetic Jedi…

General Grievous: As soon as Dooku is done with you……your life will belong to me, Jedi!

Count Dooku: Patience, General. His time will come.

Count Dooku: How are we doing this morning, Master Tiin? I apologize for your accommodations, but your visit was……unexpected.

Viceroy Gunray: Now I understand! We will demand the Republic surrender in exchange for the life of this Jedi!

Count Dooku: The Supreme Chancellor would never surrender the War just because a Jedi was foolish enough to be captured. Nevertheless, this will be an embarrassment for the Republic, I can assure you.

Count Dooku: It is time to make an example of Master Tiin and the arrogance of the Jedi Council……something that should have been done a long time ago.

Saesee Tiin: Your hate has blinded you, Dooku. Only you would turn this War into personal vendetta against the Jedi Order. How many more people will die for your cause?

Count Dooku: Oh, I’m afraid you’re mistaken, Master Tiin. This is not MY personal vendetta.

Count Dooku: Leave us.

Count Dooku: It’s curious, don’t you think Master Tiin, that the Council has been unable to discover the identity of Darth Sidious. When I told Master Kenobi about his controlling of the Senate, I would have wagered the Council would have destroyed the Sith Lord by now.

Count Dooku: But the Council isn’t even sure if Darth Sidious exists. For all you know, I could be Darth Sidious. Or, could it be possible that the Council…is also under the control of Sidious?
Saesee Tiin: Never. The Council would be aware of it.

Count Dooku: Perhaps…but surely you can’t believe the Republic is worth saving with corruption running rampant? I’m sorry, old friend, but the beloved Republic that you and Master Windu once served is a shadow of itself. It must be rebuilt…with one, strong leader.

Count Dooku: But enough politics. You and Master Windu are close friends, are you not? Perhaps we should “reach” out to him……and enlighten him of your current situation.
Saesee Tiin: What are you going to---aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!

Meanwhile, light years away, at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant…

Mace Windu: Saesee……in pain……so much pain……

Saesee Tiin: aaaaahhhhhhhhh….
Count Dooku: I’m sorry, old friend. I wish there was another way...

Saesee Tiin: ………………………
Count Dooku: That should be enough……for now. Enter, General Grievous!

Count Dooku: I have concluded my conversation with Master Tiin.

Count Dooku: You many continue with your……interrogation, General.
General Grievous: With pleasure…

General Grievous: Now…where were we?



Mace Windu: ……Saesee……


Shade:(thinking) ……that interrogation is not allowed under Republic law………

Shade:(thinking) ……must rescue the Jedi……

Shade:(thinking) ……but Windu said not to engage the enemy……

Shade:(thinking) ……I will follow orders……and report their location……need a coded signal……

Shade:(thinking) ……the gunship……

Later, at the hangar holding the captured gunship, Avenger…

Battle Droid 647F: Security check complete. Re-commencing…

Battle Droid 414A: Roger roger!

Battle Droid 647F: Did you hear something?
Battle Droid 414A: Negative.

Battle Droid 414A: Continuing security check.

Battle Droid 414A: Error---!

Battle Droid 647F: Repeat. Could not confirm last communication.

Battle Droid 647F: Alert! Alert! Possible intruder!

Battle Droid 647F: Possible---

Shade: ……now to send my report……

Shade: ……found General Grievous, Count Dooku, and Trade Federation leadership……sending coordiantes……Oner system……

03-31-2006, 12:34 PM

Chapter 30

As the War rages across the Outer Rim, members of the Jedi Council discuss the ongoing events and the new Galactic Security.

Ki-Adi Mundi: Despite the ongoing War, Palpatine is pushing for an answer regarding which Jedi will serve with the Galactic Security. And if we don’t respond quickly, he will nominate someone during the next session with the Senate.

Kit Fisto: If the Chancellor nominates his own Jedi, it will appear that the Council is indecisive or unresponsive to the needs of the Chancellor. We should choose someone before he is given that opportunity.

Yoda: Elect a Jedi to direct the new Clones, we must. But remain focused on the War, if we are to find Grievous and Dooku.

Ki-Adi Mundi: I agree with Master Yoda. We are receiving daily reports from the front lines, but the exact location of the General remains elusive.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: But Master Yoda, with so few Jedi to fight the War, how can we spare one to remain on Coruscant full-time? Surely the Chancellor understands the situation we’re in.

Yoda: If criticize the Chancellor we begin, careful we must be. Words of the dark side, they are.

Kit Fisto: We must continue to support the Chancellor, at least until we find Grievous or Dooku. Once they’ve been eliminated, the Separatist Leadership will dissolve and this War will end.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Perhaps we should promote a Jedi Knight to the level of Master. Someone who has proven himself during this War. Someone like……Anakin?

Ki-Adi Mundi: He is too young for such an assignment. And based on your description, far to reckless. Must I remind you of the incident in the training room with the Padawan?

Kit Fisto: Here comes Master Windu. Perhaps he can offer some insight on these issues.

Mace Windu: I’ve just received confirmation from one of our secret operatives. Count Dooku and General Grievous are in the Oner System.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: The Oner System? Isn’t Master Tiin there on a reconnaissance mission?

Mace Windu: Yes, in search of a rumored Separatist base. But there’s more. I saw Saesee……in a vision……being held captive. Something must have happened to his squad because he is now in the custody of Count Dooku.

Ki-Adi Mundi: But how could they have captured Saesee? His mission was only to sweep each planet to confirm the rumors of a hidden base. This would be the second time Grievous has ambushed a Jedi Council member.

Mace Windu: Dooku had knowledge of Saesee’s location, no doubt. But unlike Master Gallia, Dooku has kept Saesee alive. He wants us to try to rescue him.

Yoda: Chosen the final battleground, Dooku has. Organize a strike team, with multiple Jedi, if we are to defeat Dooku and his droid army.

Mace Windu: I will lead the attack myself. I have a contact on Oner that will give us their precise location.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Anakin and I are ready to leave immediately.
Kit Fisto: Count me in. And may I suggest we include Commander Gree. His knowledge of the system will serve us well.

Mace Windu: It will take some time to organize a Clone battalion, but we should have a small squad ready to depart immediately.

Yoda: Meet with the Chancellor, I will. Due to these latest events, allow us more time to nominate a Jedi, he must.

Ki-Adi Mundi: Agreed. Our focus must be on rescuing Saesee. The Chancellor will have to wait for our announcement until we return.

Ki-Adi Mundi: I will contact Commander Bacara and join you as soon as I can.

Mace Windu: Then it’s settled. May the Force be with us.

To Be Continued……

03-31-2006, 03:34 PM
Best chapter by far!!

The fight between the clones and the droids was fantastic and we saw how greedy the Commander got and only wanted to save his own life.

Can't wait until we see this huge battle with all the jedi and droids, General Grievous and possibly Count Dooku.

More battle droids as well, brilliant works again Longhorn.

03-31-2006, 04:55 PM
Thanx for the feedback and compliments, SPECIALOPS. Glad the battle sequence was understandable. I was afraid the dialogue was not going to be clear enough. I'm sure you won't be the only one who is glad EZ bit the dust.

Be sure to go back and re-read chapter 28 since I added the special pics created by SHELLACHEAD. They definitely bring the battle to life! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif

03-31-2006, 10:39 PM
Wow Dude. Chapter 28 was awesome. One of the best you've done. Great action, lots of stuff going on, and Shellac's effects look dynamite. You were right, this was a case where you needed the effects.
This is some great stuff you got going on here with this series.

How in the world do you get these done so fast?

04-01-2006, 12:51 PM
MAN! These chapters were the best yet, good job S_A on this one, and nice effects shellached!

04-03-2006, 10:46 AM
Thanx for the feedback guys.

FLACKSGUY: Thanx for compliments on chapter 28. I was exciting about telling that part of the story, but realized some additional effects would really make the action come alive. Glad SHELLACHEAD did that work, he is the best on the boards! And I am also surprised that I got this update done so quickly. I guess it was my excitement to do these 3 chapters. Part of the reason I get updates so fast is b/c I don't have to bother with the backgrounds and effects. Just set up the scenes, and pose the figs.

Clone Commander: Glad you liked the effects and story, CMDR. Stay tuned for more action!

Thanx again for leaving some feedback, guys! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smile.gif

04-04-2006, 01:41 AM
awesome stuff man. You really do have a gift in keeping dialogue really interesting and adding a perfect amount of action. The end result really is like a movie. A movie i'd like to see over and over again http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

04-04-2006, 04:52 PM
Thanx again for leaving your feedback, MURDERWEAPON. Glad you found the dialogue easy to read. I was concerned the sound effects were dumb. Enjoy the re-reads, since I got confirmation from SHELLACHEAD that he will work on a few more pics. I'll swap them out as they become available.

04-08-2006, 07:45 PM
Hey S A! It's been awhile since I checked in on the photonovels. I'll have to check more regularly. You have done an amazing job; both in pictures and storytelling. I hope you enjoy creating these as much as we enjoy reading them. I hope you have a large forum to post your work in. It is truly enjoyable and more people need to see it. It is even better work than I have seen in some professional SW comics. Keep up the great work and I look forward to your next chapter(s) with great anticipation.

04-09-2006, 03:28 PM
Thanx for the nice feedback, JEDIRUS.

This story has been a lot of fun to create, but I never thought it would have been this long. I've been reading too many SW novels. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

Eventually, I will move DARK ILLUSIONS and VADER'S QUEST over to STRIKEG's photonovel website, Fett's Best (http://www.fettsbest.com) . Until the story is complete, I will continue to post updates here.

The next update has been delayed since I have been battling a bit of the flu. But I am getting better (finally), and the next 3 chapters will conclude ACT II. Stay tuned and thanx for checking back in, JEDIRUS! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif

04-14-2006, 12:48 PM
Now,that you have Cody will you include him in the next chapter with Obi-wan & Anakin?

04-14-2006, 01:57 PM
Now,that you have Cody will you include him in the next chapter with Obi-wan & Anakin?

Don't have him yet......

But one advantage of this story being so LONG is that I can use some of the SAGA figs. He should make an appearance, since I enjoy using the Clone Commanders. Another personality to work with..... http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif

04-15-2006, 11:59 AM
Eh?Didn't you PM about not worring about finding you one?Or are you getting it in the mail? http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/confused.gif

04-15-2006, 02:24 PM
Eh?Didn't you PM about not worring about finding you one?Or are you getting it in the mail? http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/confused.gif

You are correct, sir! Fellow scummer found him for me. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif

04-27-2006, 04:58 PM
Are you going to use R2 in the next chapter becuase you seem to be avodingthe droid duo. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/wink.gif

04-27-2006, 07:44 PM
Personally, I'm waiting for the return of the KimCharise!! Maybe if Master Saesee Tiin used that gunship, he wouldn't be in this predicament. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/wink.gif

04-28-2006, 01:58 PM
Thanx for the continued interest guys & gal!

R2 will be making an appearance in these final chapters. And I can't promise the return of the Kimcharise , but there will be a few more surprises until the end.

Sorry for the delay, but I have been taking some time off from the story. I wanted to take a break after the conclusion of Act II, but since I've already taken a break, I will go full-bore thru Act II into Act III. Look for an update within the next two weeks. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

05-12-2006, 06:48 PM
Wow, theres not much to say except If there was a movie version of this, i'd buy the ticket in a second. Maybe even half a second. Bravo I can't wait for more. True work of art. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/laugh.gif http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif

05-12-2006, 06:57 PM
Thanx for the feedback, VirusX. Awesome compliment! Keeps me motivated to finish the story.

I plan to post another update soon, hopefully within a week's time.

Until then, here is a preview pic from an upcoming chapter:


05-12-2006, 07:05 PM
No problem. Ive been looking around the site for a while and this is the first Photonovel that made me go, Holy...

I can't wait for the next part. Looks like good stuff. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smile.gif

05-12-2006, 07:15 PM
Awesome preview pic, LONGHORN!

Can't wait to see the new chapters!! Your stories are simply terrific, epic in scope, with spot-on dialogue.

05-12-2006, 07:43 PM
Damn!! Look at all those Utapau clones. Glad to see your better, can't wait for the next chapter, been waiting very unpatiently. ^__^

05-13-2006, 02:01 PM
NICE!! I haven't been on here in a while, but just caught myself up and would like to say that this, alonge with Rykrof Enloe, is my absolute favorite photonovel. You are a master with a camera. Can't wait for the next chapter, love the preview!

05-18-2006, 03:00 PM
Thanx for the feedback guys. I am working hard on the dialogue for this update. There is a lot of discussion in the next three chapters, so this dialogue is driving me crazy!

But I promise this update will be posted tomorrow. Stay tuned! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

05-18-2006, 04:49 PM
Tomorrow!! I shall hold you to your word!!

05-19-2006, 12:11 PM
OK, after much delay, here are the last three chapters of Act II. I hope and pray I got the dialogue to work smoothly, b/c these three chapters were the hardest to write the dialogue for. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

Enjoy chapters 31, 32, and 33! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

05-19-2006, 12:12 PM

Chapter 31

At the request of the Supreme Chancellor, Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker is summoned to Palpatine’s office for an unofficial meeting.

Mas Amedda: Everything is on schedule.
Chancellor Palpatine: Excellent. We will discuss this matter at a late time.

Chancellor Palpatine: Anakin, thank you for seeing me on such short notice.
Anakin Skywalker: I always have time for the Supreme Chancellor.

Chancellor Palpatine: Come……let us speak in private……guards, leave us!

Chancellor Palpatine: I wanted to extend my best wishes for your upcoming mission to Oner. The Jedi Council made a wise choice in selecting you for this assignment.

Anakin Skywalker: Thank you, Chancellor. But how did you know about the mission?

Chancellor Palpatine: When a large division of Clone troopers is re-assigned to a remote system like Oner, I take notice. It is…my army after all.

Chancellor Palpatine: However, I do question the real objective of the mission. Do you think the Council is serious about defeating the Separatists?
Anakin Skywalker: What do you mean? The Jedi are trying to end this War by finding General Grievous and Count Dooku.

Chancellor Palpatine: I hope so. But why would the Council hide the real objective? To rescue Master Saesee Tiin?

Anakin Skywalker: I…I…don’t know. I’m sure they have their reasons, Chancellor.

Chancellor Palpatine: Perhaps……but to withhold this information from the Senate or from me is suspicious, don’t you think?

Chancellor Palpatine: It concerns me that the Council is quick to respond to their own needs…….yet is slow to respond to the needs of the Republic.

Chancellor Palpatine: Believe me, I understand the importance of the rescue mission. Master Tiin is a valuable member of the Jedi Council.

Anakin Skywalker: The Republic could not win this War without him.
Chancellor Palpatine: Oh, I agree. But what about you, Anakin? You should be on the front lines right now, winning this War for the Republic……not waiting for the Council to give you an assignment while sparring with Padawans in the Temple.

Anakin Skywalker: You……heard…about that?
Chancellor Palpatine: Yes, but don’t be embarrassed, Anakin. You did what had to be done. The growing arrogance of the Jedi has spread to their Younglings.

Chancellor Palpatine: It’s that type of arrogance and lack of cooperation that has the Senate worried.
Anakin Skywalker: Worried? About what?

Chancellor Palpatine: Well, for example, their delay in deciding which Jedi to appoint to the new 501st Clone Division. This has been a matter of extreme urgency, yet, they seem complacent to wait as long as possible. The Senate is growing impatient.

Anakin Skywalker: I had no idea this was going on……
Chancellor Palpatine: It doesn’t surprise me, since they don’t think it concerns you.

Chancellor Palpatine: The very security of this Republic depends on the 501st protecting Coruscant. Just imagine if certain Senators were killed in an attack on the Senate Chamber? Or if I was captured during a battle?

Anakin Skywalker: The Separatist wouldn’t dare attack Coruscant.

Chancellor Palpatine: One can never be too sure, Anakin. During these stressful times, all potential threats against the Republic must be watched carefully……even your allies can betray you……including the Jedi Council.

Anakin Skywalker: The Council? The Jedi would never do anything to endanger the Republic.
Chancellor Palpatine: But can you be sure of that, Anakin?

Chancellor Palpatine: What about Count Dooku? Remember, that he was once a Jedi. If someone as honored and respected as Dooku can leave the Order and wage a war against the Republic, then what is to prevent another Jedi from attacking the Republic……from within?

Anakin Skywalker: That……would never happen……

Chancellor Palpatine: Yes, you’re probably right. But these are the things that I must consider as the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic.

Chancellor Palpatine: That’s why the 501st is so important. It is Coruscant’s final line of defense versus all threats, internal and external.

Chancellor Palpatine: If the Council refuses to assign a Jedi to the 501st Division, then I will unfortunately have to make that decision…for the sake of the Republic. What about……you, Anakin?
Anakin Skywalker: Me? Command the 501st?

Chancellor Palpatine: Oh, absolutley. You are clearly the best person for the job. Your mere presence will lift the spirits of the people of Coruscant. Just because the Jedi are blind to your importance, don’t let that hold you back. The Republic needs your help.
Anakin Skywalker: Thank you, Chancellor...but...I think we should wait for the Council’s decision.

Chancellor Palpatine: Every day that passes, the Senate grows more and more restless. But I will do what I can to maintain order. We can only hope the Council will decide when you return from Oner.
Anakin Skywalker: Oner? I’m sorry, Chancellor, but I have to go. I’m late for a mission briefing.

Chancellor Palpatine: I understand. I also have matters to attend to.

Chancellor Palpatine: And I think it would be best if we kept this conversation between us…for now.
Anakin Skywalker: I agree.

05-19-2006, 12:14 PM

Chapter 32

In the days since the Jedi Council decided to form a task force to rescue Saesee Tiin, Commander Gree was instructed to direct the Mission Briefing of the Oner System.

Commander Gree: Thank you for coming to this important briefing. We must be prepared for what awaits us in the Oner System.

Commander Gree: We have assembled a specialized Strike Team, that will no doubt be successful in rescuing General Tiin, and hopefully, ending this War.

Commander Gree: With the cooperation of the Jedi, our Strike Team will be separated into teams, each with it’s own objective…

Obi-Wan Kenobi: (whispering) You’re late.
Anakin Skywalker: (whispering) Something came up. Won’t happen again.

Anakin Skywalker: (whispering) Besides, what’s there to know, Master? Just point me in the direction of Dooku, and I’ll handle the rest.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: (whispering) Very funny, Anakin……now pay attention!

Commander Gree: Each team will be led by a Clone Commander and several Jedi. The timing of this mission is critical to the success of all objectives, including the rescue of General Tiin.

Commander Gree: The ground assault will be conducted by the 212th Attack Battalion, led by Commander Cody. They’ve just returned from a successful campaign. Congratulations and welcome back.

Commander Cody: Thank you, Commander Gree.

Commander Gree: Since preliminary reports indicated that General Tiin is being held in the jungles of Oner, I will be directly involved in the rescue operation. I will be accompanied by three members of the Elite Corps.

Commander Gree: Psi, Chi, and Phi are three of the best the Elite Corps has to offer.

Commander Gree: The air campaign will be led by Commander Oddball.

Commander Gree: Commander Oddball will provide cover fire and secondary troops as needed.

Commander Gree: The Oner System, for those who are not familiar with it, is made up of various terrains, including grassy plains, freezing mountains, and dense jungles. A relatively unknown system in the Outer Rim.

Commander Gree: However, that quickly changed with the discovery of the Crystal Mines about five years ago. The unlimited supply of crystal quickly gave way to non-stop excavations that destroyed much of the land on Oner.

Commander Gree: The solid crystals caverns became a valuable commodity to everyone in the Galaxy, including the Trade Federation. Constant battle for control of the system, and specifically the Crystal Mines, has led to the extinction of the native Onerians.

Commander Gree: It is rumored that Count Dooku’s family on Serreno invested in the Crystal Mines. This could explain the Count’s presence there now.

Commander Gree: Yes, Commander?
Commander Cody: What of the reports about rancors living in the Oner System?

Commander Gree: Unfortunately, the reports are true. As part of the ongoing battle for control of Oner, several rancors were transported to Oner to specifically kill the people of Oner. With the natives wiped out, Oner would be ripe for the taking.

Commander Gree: It remains a mystery who coordinated the delivery of the rancors. The little we know of what happened once the rancors were delivered is based on the news archives during that time.

Commander Gree: However, something went wrong during the delivery. Several rancors escaped their cages prematurely, killing everyone, including the transporters. Even more curious is the fact that no one claimed ownership of Oner after the incident. The Crystal Mines have remained untouched for the past several years.

Commander Gree: Ever since that incident, the rancors have lived in isolation. Having completely wiped out the population of Oner, we presume their numbers have decreased over time. Unfortunately, we do not have a count on how many still exist today, so be cautious.

Commander Gree: Based on the last transmissions of the doomed Avenger, the Separatists’ base is deep within the jungles of Oner. Too deep to attack by air and only accessible by foot. Most likely General Tiin is being held there, by Count Dooku or General Grievous.

Commander Gree: Generals Windu and Fisto will assist the Elite Corps in rescuing General Tiin.

Commander Gree: Meanwhile, the 212th Attack Battalion will attack the Separatists’ outside defenses.

Commander Gree: Generals Kenobi and Skywalker will be with them. Anyone who surrenders or is taken prisoner will be detained and questioned.

Anakin Skywalker: (whispering) Good, at least we get all the real action.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: ……

Commander Gree: Finally as a bid of caution, this siege may last several days. Please note the vegetation on Oner. Most of the plants are poisonous and what little vegetation is edible has most likely been contaminated by the Separatist Army. Be sure to carry enough rations.

Commander Gree: And with this, I bid everyone good luck. The Republic is depending on us. Dismissed!

Phi: Double-check all scanning equipment before we leave.
Psi & Chi: Yes, sir!

Kit Fisto: Good work, Commander. This information will serve us well.
Commander Gree: Thank you, General. The men are prepared for the task at hand.

Mace Windu: Commander, I have information from a secret operative already on Oner. His information may help us locate Saesee Tiin quickly. Please follow me…
Commander Gree: Of course……

Commander Cody: We depart in less than an hour. Get as much rest as you can between here and Oner. You may not get much once we arrive. I’ll see you on board.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Commander Cody? Please allow me to formally introduce myself. I am Obi-Wan Kenobi and this is……
Anakin Skywalker: …his trusted bodyguard, Anakin Skywalker.

Commander Cody: Yes, of course, the famed Heroes of the Republic. With you guys on board, we are assured of victory. My men and I look forward to working with you.

Anakin Skywalker: The 212th Battalion also has made a name for itself during this War. That’s good news, Master! I won’t be the only one having to watch you!
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Watching me? Now wait just a minute…

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Let me give you fair warning about this young one, Cody. He is as reckless as he is confident. Be sure not to fire on him by mistake. Wouldn’t want to tarnish that “Hero” reputation, now would we, Anakin?
Anakin Skywalker: Oh very funny, Master.

Commander Cody: Don’t worry, General. The 212th will never let you down. Follow me on board and I’ll introduce you to the rest of the squad.

05-19-2006, 12:15 PM

Chapter 33

With tension high & rumors running rampant about a Jedi being held hostage, Supreme Chancellor Palpatine addresses the Republic via the HoloNet.

Mas Amedda: A special message from the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic.

Chancellor Palpatine: Thank you and good evening. I come to you from my office on the capital world of Coruscant, the shining beacon for democracy in the galaxy.

Chancellor Palpatine: Recent events may have alarmed the masses about how the War is progressing. In short, the War goes well. We have regained control of the Inner and Mid Rims. As every day passes, we make tremendous strides to defeating the Confederate of Independent Systems. All the while, we still maintain the security necessary to protect our most precious freedoms.

Chancellor Palpatine: Within the past few days, our intelligence has found the location of a secret Separatist base. We can only hope that both Count Dooku and General Grievous are there, and will be defeated by the Clone Armies.

Chancellor Palpatine: However, several rumors are running rampant that a certain member of the Jedi Council has been captured by enemy forces.

Chancellor Palpatine: I can personally assure everyone that these rumors are baseless and false. It is merely another attempt by the Separatists to strike fear into the people of the Republic.

Chancellor Palpatine: If these rumors were true, the Jedi Council would have certainly informed the Senate or myself.

Chancellor Palpatine: There is also news to celebrate closer to home. The newly formed Galactic Security is now fully functional, serving and protecting the people of Coruscant.

Chancellor Palpatine: Please allow me the opportunity to publicly thank the Senate for their never-ending work to pass this most important security measure. The Capital of the Republic is now a safer and more secure place.

Chancellor Palpatine: The Galactic Security is separated into two, distinct divisions. Each division has been trained with skills that are far more advanced than the normal Clones. The 501st Clone Division is assigned to protect Coruscant from any attack. They will preserve the necessary peace required for the Republic’s capital to continue to function, no matter the situation.

Chancellor Palpatine: A Jedi will be assigned to work with the 501st to coordinate the necessary security. As of yet, no Jedi has been assigned, but I trust we should have an announcement soon.

Chancellor Palpatine: The 501st Legion will be led by Commander Appo.

Chancellor Palpatine: The 501st Legion is the most elite army in the Republic. While being based here on Coruscant, I have been given the power to order them off-world if necessary.

Chancellor Palpatine: The other division, known as Homeworld Security Command, is assigned to protect me. Certain members of the Senate believed that I have become a target for the Separatists. While I do not feel more protection is necessary, I understand their concerns. Allow me to introduce the leader of the Security Command, Commander Thire.

Chancellor Palpatine: Commander Thire will oversee all security for my office here on Coruscant and for my off-world trips. However, I do have Commander Thire’s assurances that my “open door” policy for all members of the Senate will not be adversely affected.

Chancellor Palpatine: Homeworld Command troopers are easily distinguished from their Clone counterparts due to their unique crimson markings on their armor. Their crimson color signifies their affiliation to the Royal Guards and to this office.

Chancellor Palpatine: Please help me in welcoming them to our home planet. We should commend them for their bravery and never-ending dedication to the Republic.

Chancellor Palpatine: These new but important Clone divisions usher in a new era of peace and security for the Republic.

Chancellor Palpatine: Only together can we defeat the Confederacy. However, these are difficult times. I ask for your continued support as we strive to return peace to the Republic. These dark days will soon come to an end.

Chancellor Palpatine: Thank you for your time. I bid you all good night from Coruscant.

End of Act II

To be continued in Act III

05-19-2006, 04:36 PM
Once again,a fantastic chapter! I am honestly at a loss for words. Everything you have done is as good or better than your previous work. I loved the presedential-type adress to the citizens. Great chapters! Can't wait for act III.

05-19-2006, 04:53 PM
Very Nice! I really like how you handled the briefing and the "addressing the republic".

05-19-2006, 04:54 PM

This new upcoming battle looks like it will be great!! I like how Palpatine is already seducing Anakin. Hopefully we will get to see the 501st and the shocktroopers in action soon. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Keep it up Longhorn, I'm loving this.

05-19-2006, 10:23 PM
Well, all that work you put in to the dialouge really paid off. You pretty much nailed it. The exchange between Anakin and Palpatine was right on the money. It very much reminded me of some of the conversations they had in ROTS.
And I really like how you tied some things in to the movies:
the 501st, Palps saying "what if I were captured in battle", Obi-Wan getting teamed up with Cody, the Shocktroopers...
all good stuff.
This is a good example of a well done PN. You don't need non-stop action to make it great.

05-20-2006, 08:11 AM
I can see why you were worried about the dialogue. Planting the seeds of deception and insurrection as delicately as Palpatine did was no easy feat! You have yet again amazed me with your continuing saga! Keep 'em coming! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif

05-20-2006, 08:53 AM

05-20-2006, 02:47 PM

05-22-2006, 01:51 PM
Thanx for all the feeback guys & gals! Sounds like everyone still enjoyed the story despite the lack of action. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smile.gif

CloneCommander1: Thanx for the very kind words. While I do try to show something different with every update, I just hope every chapter is believable. I'd hoped to do the Chancellor's speech differently at first, but my original idea became to difficult. So, I tried a simple speech with Palpatine looking directly into the camera, with some images of the Shocktroopers and the 501st.

Bear78: Glad you liked the briefing. A fun way to showcase Gree's personality and at the same time explain the history of Oner. All important info for Act III. Palpatine's address was so difficult to write b/c of the dialogue, but I am very relieved it worked.

SpecialOpsUnit: Look for the Shockies and the 501st to have some important chapters in the next Act. The politcal plot will also continue to thicken. And I am already thinking how to present the Battle of Oner. Thanx for feedback!

Flacksguy: Thanx for the feedback on the Anakin/Palpatine chapter. Really hoped to channel that feeling of the conversations they have in ROTS. I waited a long time to finally reveal the 501st and the Shocktroopers. Look for them in the next Act. Many thanx for the compliments on the dialogue and overall update. Very satisfying to hear the story is still entertaining!

Kimcharise: Looks like I didn't need your help with the dialogue! I was so worried about the dialogue for these chapters, I asked Kim if she would be interested in proofreading the script. But in the end, I didn't want her to worry about getting back to me in time. So I went ahead and posted the chapters on Friday, as planned. Thanx for the kind words, you keep me motivated to continue the story!!!

Artoo: Sorry I didn't get R2 into this update. But he will appear, you have my word! Thanx for the feedback.

Jedi_matt_c: Thanx for checking in for the first time. Always appreciate people taking the time to leave any type of comment. Hope you check back for the next update.

Thanx for everyone leaving their feedback. I was just happy everyone still remembered the story. My little break has renewed my eneregy for the story, and look forward to completing Act III. Stay tuned!!! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

05-22-2006, 05:55 PM
Since I read that Oddball is getting ready for a mission, I am definitely anticipating the next chapter!! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif

05-22-2006, 08:28 PM
Nice work! I can't wait to see what the battle's gonna be like.

05-23-2006, 11:32 AM
Copied my post from over at JD -

SA, good additions to your storyline. This Dark Illusions has really compiled a lot of chapters, I am wondering where the end point to it will be, if it will be right up to the the events starting at ROTS?

I have a couple of suggestions, and don't take these wrong, they're just ideas I would try.

(1) I know you don't customize much, but if you were to swap out the knees on your Cody with a Utapua Clone, Cody would be a better height. Hasbro made that figure way too short. It really shows up in this picture with the angle you used -


He just looks so out of place... damn Hasbro. It's a pretty simple change if you want to try it though for future stories.

(2) I think the dialogue with Palpatine was excellent, but a bit repetive in the pictures. Some side angles of him, or more views of his audience here would have been nice. It's always hard though to try and do a lot of dialogue without it getting boring, but you always seem to pull it off.

(3) The leaning clone in the meeting... it was ok for a pic, but it seemed like every pic of him in the crowd he was always leaning like that, I think that maybe doing some very slight hand positioning in the crowd some more would have made them look a little less static and interacting with what Gree was saying.

(4) Loved the Rancor flashback pics, using the pet carrier is a good idea for a cage.

(5) Is that a Thire custom you did? It looks great!


Well done SA, and thanks for continuing to bring this series to us.


05-23-2006, 12:05 PM
Thanx for the feedback!

Kimcharise: No one mentioned the Gunship Kimcharise would return! Commander Oddball flies all types of ships! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/wink.gif

CommanderRedd: Glad to see you still around REDD. I am already stressing about the battle pics. But I got a couple of ideas. Stay tuned...

CHEWIE: Shorter reply from the original JD response:

RE: (1) You're right about Cody! What a shrimp!

RE: (2) My original vision of Palpatine's Republic address had various shots of Senators, clones, and Jedi watching him during key parts of his speech. But those pics would have been complicated for me, since I would have to use some type of monitor for them to be looking at. In the end, I crapped out of trying and just used simple pics.

RE: (3) I tried posing them all different, but never went back for subtle changes.

RE: (4) You nailed the pet carrier!!! My dog didn't mind - I paid him in Greenies.

RE: (5) Thought that pic of Thire would get your attention. Sorry to say, not a custom. Just a simple cut & paste of the Evolutions III head to a beheaded Shocktrooper.

05-23-2006, 04:30 PM
Also a little knowledge the 501st weren't asigned to Coruscant,they were in all the malor battles.The Shocktroopers were assigned to Coruscant.Also there really wasn't a use for R2 in that chapter so I understand.

05-30-2006, 06:12 PM
Hey Longhorn!

Fantastic as always. I always enjoy looking at your stories. The dialogue is always well done and the pictures are just marvelous. It always impresses me that you're able to do what you do with very little, if any, special effects. Your story elements are great, and you just get a sense that everything makes sense in the world you have created. Good job and I can't wait to see more!

06-01-2006, 09:31 AM
Whoa. Man these are fantasticlly amazing. The address to the people was really cool. This is a little of topic, but do you remember your ep.3 fan fic you did in the storry with pics thread, if so coud you repost these in one big thread, once this is done that is?

06-05-2006, 12:21 PM
Hey guys, thanx for the feedback.

ARTOO: While it is true that the 501st were involved in many battles, they were based out of Coruscant. And based on the their appearances on film, they only appear on Coruscant. I used this story to give a possible reason for their creation and ultimate purpose. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smirk.gif And I'm already looking for a key role for R2 in the next update.

YESTERDAY101: Good to see you back again, Yesterday. Enjoying your funny story as well. Thanx for the compliments on my dialogue. That was the most difficult part for this past update, since it is all "talking". While I don't do too much effects, some of the battle scenes in the past required some effects to really get the action to stand out. The upcoming battle shots will also need some effects. Any help would be appreciated.

FORCEBWITU: Thanx for leaving some feedback, FORCE. IMO, the Chancellor's Address would have been better if I could have got some shots of various Senators and Jedi looking/listening to Palpatine. But those shots would have requried some special editing, and I got lazy. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/crazy.gif Thanx for asking about my first stories. Those little battles were what got me motivated to make these longer versions. Those were my first attempts at the photonovel, so they are very simple. I'll have to see if I still have those pics saved on my Photobucket accounts. I may have deleted them for more space. Otherwise, just look up the old "Stories With Pics" threads in this Photonovel section. They are probably at the bottom of this forum.

Thanx again to everybody posting their comments. Currently drafting the next 3 chapters. Stay tuned... http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

06-10-2006, 02:44 PM
Your making us impatient here SA. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/wink.gif

06-11-2006, 01:41 AM
Your making us impatient here SA. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Sorry guys, but making the final tweaks to the Act III thru the end of the story. Should begin shooting this week. Lots of twists & turns coming up! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

Stay tuned...

06-12-2006, 04:01 AM
NICE!!! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/laugh.gif more!!!more!!!more!!!

06-17-2006, 11:29 PM
Almost fell to the third page. Can't have that happening. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/wink.gif

06-20-2006, 03:40 PM
Almost fell to the third page. Can't have that happening. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Thanx for the bump, SPECIALOPS. And for your feedback, SPYBOY.

I just wanted to give you guys two preview pics of the upcoming chapters. The next three chapters are in various stages of completion, with one being complete. There will be an update very soon!

Stay tuned! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

EDIT - Preview pics inserted back into the story.

06-20-2006, 11:07 PM
Looks great! I'm egarly anticipating. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif

06-21-2006, 04:44 PM
Almost fell to the third page. Can't have that happening. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/wink.gif

I agree. We can't afford to let this wonderful work of art fall back.

Longhorn, let me know if you need anything. I look forward to the rest of your story!

06-21-2006, 05:13 PM
That Commander Gree photo looks awesome.

I'll be waiting impatiently for the next chapter.

06-26-2006, 12:06 PM
Update coming soon guys. Just finishing up the dialogue for the third chapter, and having some efects put into some of the pics. Should be an exciting update.

And I promise I'll post it sometime this week.

Stay tuned!!! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

06-28-2006, 01:33 PM
S_A! I am just in complete AWE!

I've skimmed through a few good photonovels, but this one left me drooling for more. I never seen this one up until about TWO HOURS AGO and I couldn't stop scrolling until I read the whole thing!

I just have to say keep up the outstanding photography, dialogue and overall story.

**Someone get George on the phone! We've gotten the head writer for Ep. VII-IX!**

06-30-2006, 10:43 AM
Commander K: Thanx for the feedback and welcome to the story. Glad you liked the story enough to read all previous 33 chapters in one sitting! Very cool! And I appreicate your compliments on the photography, dialogue and overall story. This photonovel has been a lot of fun to work on and I look forward to completing it. And let me know when you get George on the phone - I already have the scripts written for Episodes VII thru IX! J/K

Well, after much work the past few weeks, I have completed the next 3 chapters (34, 35, and 36). Special thanx to YESTERDAY808 for adding in the excellent special effects to really bring the story to life. We've wanted to work together for a while, and I am glad we finally got to. I apologize for some of the pics being slightly blurry tho.

Enjoy chapters 34, 35, and 36! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

06-30-2006, 10:44 AM


Chapter 34

Several weeks have passed since the creation of the 501st Legion and Shocktroopers. While the Battle of Oner will be waged on a far away planet, tensions still run high on Coruscant, despite the high level of security.

Padme Amidala: Thank you, R2. That will be all.
R2D2: (beep whistle beep)

Bail Organa: With the Galactic Security now in place, the Chancellor’s approval rating is the highest it has ever been during the War. He will have no problem passing any of his new legislation.

Meena Tillis: But even you must admit, Senator Organa, the Chancellor has brought back a feeling of peace and security to Coruscant. The economy is flourishing with just the mere presence of the 501st.

Meena Tillis: What do you think, Senator Amidala? Has the Chancellor not succeeded in providing a new level of security for the Republic?
Padme Amidala: He has done that, I have to admit.

Padme Amidala: But at what expense? The Separatists’ leaders will never agree to a peace summit if they feel threatened by the 501st. I feel their existence will only prolong the War. And as long as there is a War, the Jedi will never return home…

Bail Organa: Senator Amidala is right. Just the other day I heard the 501st raided Dexter’s Diner. They believed it was a secret meeting place for local terrorists.
Meena Tillis: Those are just rumors. The HoloNet reported the explosion was caused by a gas leak.

Bail Organa: Oh, really? Then let me tell you what I saw with my own eyes today, Senator……

Bail Organa: When I arrived today from Alderaan, I was “greeted” by the 501st. At first, I was relieved to see the high-level of security around the spaceport.

Bail Organa: I was asked to show my identification, including my Senate photocard. In the past, customs agents were familiar with all Senators.

Bail Organa: The Clone Trooper began asking me various questions, such as my reason for coming to Coruscant, and if I had a residence here. There was no room for pleasantries with this trooper.

Bail Organa: However, after an extended amount of time and several more questions, I was cleared and allowed entry.

Padme Amidala: I don’t understand. What is so strange about that?
Bail Organa: Oh, nothing really. It was what happened after I was cleared, as they questioned the next traveler……a Rodian supposedly from the Outer Rim.

Bail Organa:: I could not here their initial conversation, but it quickly become apparent that the Trooper did not like what the traveler had to say.

Bail Organa: The 501st quickly ordered the traveler to place his hands behind his head and to get down on his knees. The Rodian didn’t seem to understand what was going on.

Bail Organa: That is when I saw Commander Appo approach the traveler…

Bail Organa: …and strike him.

Padme Amidala: No! But how could they just hit him without proper cause?
Bail Organa: I soon found out…

Bail Organa: Commander Appo then approached me. He said the traveler was a dangerous terrorist with ties to the Separatist movement. He asked me to leave, for my own safety, of course..

Bail Organa: What else could I do……

Meena Tillis: But what happened to the traveler?
Bail Organa: They proceeded with their ‘interrogation’.

Bail Organa: I fear that the 501st and the Chancellor have already begun to abuse their powers. And now there are rumors of a secret cloning facility right here on Coruscant.

Mena Tillis: While I agree the treatment of the foreign traveler was a bit harsh, we must understand we live in dangerous times. Change is never easy. But those who have nothing to hide should not fear the 501st, like us.

Bail Organa: Nevertheless, if a Jedi were involved with Commander Appo, I seriously doubt this incident would have occured.
Padme Amidala: We must make it a priority that a Jedi be assigned to oversee the 501st. Even if it means forcing the Chancellor to appoint one himself.

Meena Tillis: Very well. I will call for a vote at the next Senate session.
Bail Organa: Let me speak to the Chancellor privately first. Perhaps there is more to the situation than we know. Until then, let’s call it a night. It is getting late.

Bail Organa: Good night, M’Lady……Senator Tillis.
Meena Tillis: Until tomorrow, Senators.
Padme Amidala: Good evening to you both.

Padme Amidala: (deep sigh)

R2D2: (curious whistle)
Padme Amidala: I’m fine, R2. I’m just a little tired, that’s all. Tell 3PO that I am retiring for the night.

R2D2: (woooooooooo)

06-30-2006, 10:46 AM

Chapter 35

Jedi Master Mace Windu & Kit Fisto are the first to arrive on Oner. Accompanied by Commander Gree and the Elite Corps, they prepare for the upcoming battle and the rescue of Saesee Tiin.

Commander Oddball: We are approaching the landing point, General..

Mace Windu: Continue to scan the area for any large creatures.
Commander Gree: Commander Oddball, set the ship down near that flattened area.

Commander Oddball: Yes, sir. Our scanners indicate nothing in the area.

Commander Gree: General, do you see how the vegetation in that area is flattened? It’s a clear indication that a rancor has been here recently.
Mace Windu: When we land, verify the tracks. We don’t want any unexpected visitors.

Sgt. Trooper Psi: What a desolate place this is.
Kit Fisto: Don’t let your eyes deceive you, trooper. Even in the ugliest places, beauty can be found.

Commander Gree: Stay with ship, General. My men and I will take a look around first.
Mace Windu: Be sure to stay in contact. I will contact my informant and have him meet us as soon as possible.

Commander Gree: Sergeant Psi – take Trooper Chi with you and check the hillside. Phi and I will cover the lower areas.
Trooper Phi: It will be dark soon. We better get moving.

A few hours later……

Trooper Phi: No signs of any life anywhere, sir. Including droids……
Mace Windu: That’s not entirely accurate. You’re just not looking in the right places, trooper.

Commander Gree: I was right. A rancor has been through here. See the broken branches? These tracks are fresh, perhaps no more than a couple of hours. Difficult to tell if this was caused by more than one rancor, though.
Trooper Phi: I don’t understand how something that big can hide so easily.

Commander Gree: The rancor has adapted to this environment. Its hunting skills have been sharpened. We must be cautious----
Sgt. Trooper Psi over comlink: Commander! We found something! You better take a look at this. I’m sending you our coordinates!

Commander Gree: We’re on our way! Whatever it is, do not engage the target until I arrive!
Sgt. Trooper Psi: No need to worry about that, Commander.

Sgt. Trooper Psi: We’re already outnumbered.
Trooper Chi: I count a total of 8 droids.

Commander Gree: Have they spotted us?
Sgt. Trooper Psi: No, sir. Looks like they are still setting up their defenses.

Commander Gree: We’ve arrived sooner than they expected. Those turrets will keep our gunships grounded……for now.

Commander Gree: And there are some droidekas patrolling the outer perimeter.

Sgt. Trooper Psi: Shall we take them down, sir?
Commander Gree: No, Cody and his men have that responsibility. We’re here to scout the enemy’s location and rescue Saesee Tiin.

Commander Gree: I don’t see any……wait a minute……is that?………OOM-12 is down there. The Separatist ARE serious about holding this planet.
Sgt. Trooper Psi: Who or what is an OOM-12, sir?

Commander Gree: OOM-12 is the Droid Commander down there. He was programmed specifically for open-field warfare. Reports are that he has never lost a battle. This operation just got more difficult. Come on……let’s get back to camp.
Sgt. Trooper Psi: Yes, sir.

Some time later, aboard the gunship KIMCHARISE……

Commander Gree: With OOM-12 directing the droid army, I suggest a new strategy. We should concentrate our attack on the barracks first. Once their defenses are weakened, we shouldn’t have a problem entering their base.
Mace Windu: And hopefully find Saesee inside. Good work, Commander. We’ll go with your new plan.

Shade: …and walk right into their trap.

Commander Gree: Halt! Identify yourself!!
Mace Windu: You can relax, Commander. This is my informant, Special Ops Trooper Shade.

Shade: Took your time getting here, didn’t you, Jedi?

Mace Windu: We came as soon as we could, Shade.
Commander Gree: It takes time to research and assemble the right strike team. We will not fail in our mission.

Shade: And while you play “Commander”, I have to keep tabs on what the Droid Army is doing to prepare for your arrival. Remind me not to get captured if it means waiting for you guys to rescue me.

Mace Windu: That’s enough. We’re wasting time arguing. What is their attack plan, Shade?

Shade: The Separatist knew you were coming with an assault team. Therefore, they have spread out their army. They’ve relocated Master Saesee Tiin to an abandoned village on the far side of the ridge. He is being held in one of the huts there, for “safe-keeping”.

Mace Windu: Commander, begin reconnaissance on the village.
Commander Gree: Yes, sir, right away.

Mace Windu: What else have you discovered?
Shade: I have been monitoring all transmissions sent from their base.

Shade: Most of the transmissions were sent to Trade Federation starships, ordering them to land their droid armies. But I intercepted one transmission unlike all the others.
Mace Windu: Why? What was different about it?

Shade: It was sent to a private transmitter on Coruscant. I’ve just recently pinpointed the exact location of the receiver……in The Works area.
Mace Windu: The old manufacturing section of Coruscant? That is where you encountered the two Royal Guards before.

Mace Windu: This may the clue we need to unravel the mystery of the Sith Lord.
Commander Gree: But I checked that place from top to bottom. There was no one there.

Mace Windu: Go back and check it again. The Sith Lord will show up again. And when he does, I want you there to identify him.

Shade: And then what?
Mace Windu: Contact Master Yoda immediately. He will handle it from there. DO NOT attempt to apprehend the Sith Lord by yourself. Wait for help, Shade.

Shade: As you wish……Jedi.

06-30-2006, 10:49 AM

Chapter 36

Joined by Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, the Clones of the 212th Battalion are prepared to defeat the Droid Army. Following the coordinates given by Commander Gree, Commander Cody & the 212th begin their important mission on the plains of Oner.

Commander Cody: The gunship cannot get any closer without taking fire from the turrets. Check your ammo and supplies one last time, troopers.

Commander Cody: Everybody out!

Commander Cody: We’ll wait for General Kenobi’s gunship to land. Keep a lookout for any droids or rancors.

Trooper Dagda: We’re approaching the rendezvous point, sir.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Very good, trooper.

Anakin Skywalker: I thought Commander Gree was exaggerating about the conditions on Oner. In reality, it’s worse than he described.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Do give it a chance, Anakin. We’ve only just arrived.

Anakin Skywalker: There’s something not right……something…distant…hiding……

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Don't center on your anxiety, Anakin. Keep your concentration here and now where it belongs. Here comes Cody now.

Commander Cody: We’re ready to move out, General.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Lead the way.

Commander Cody: Lock and load, troopers! Let’s move out!

Anakin Skywalker: ……hmph……

Rancor: (distant low growl)

Some time later……

Trooper Daiki: Commander, possible targets up ahead.
Commander Cody: Everybody down! Switch to private comlink frequency 2-1-5.

Commander Cody: Let us check it out first, sir.

Anakin Skywalker: What?! Come on, let’s take them out now!
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Calm down, Anakin. Let them do their job.

Commander Cody on private comlink: Stay low. Sa’dia & Hadi – circle around to the left. The rest of us will go right.
Troopers Sa’dia & Hadi on private comlink: Yes, sir.

Trooper Sa’dia on private comlink: I have a visual, Commander --- two battle droids on patrol.

Trooper Hadi on private comlink: They’re coming this way.

Commander Cody on private comlink: We’ll distract them.
(A rock hits the ground.)

Battle Droid 3125: What was that?
Battle Droid 2945: Probably just a critter.

Battle Droid 3125: Let’s check it out.
Battle Droid 2945: Roger, roger!
(Laser blast! Laser blast!)

Trooper Sa’dia on private comlink: They’re down.
Commander Cody on private comlink: Good work, troopers.

Meanwhile, at the Droid Army Command Post……

Battle Droid 1750: Two droid transmitters just went out.
OOM-12: Send all nearby units to investigate.

OOM-12: Activate the rest of the droids.

Back on the plains of Oner……

Trooper Daiki on private comlink: Several targets fast approaching from the south, sir.
Commander Cody on private comlink: Prepare to fire.

Battle Droid 4152: Clone troopers identified! CHARGE!

Commander Cody: OPEN FIRE!!!

Battle Droid 4152: …clone…troopers……identi----

Trooper Daiki on private comlink: More droids approaching from the east.
Battle Droid 4325: CHARGE!

Commander Cody on private comlink: Sa’dia – Hadi - Ra’d – Dagda – try to flank the droids on the right side.
Troopers on private comlink: Yes, sir!

Troopers Daikia on private comlink: We’ve got more droids incoming, Commander.

Commander Cody on private comlink: Take evasive action!

Trooper Ra’d: Magna guards!!!

Electro-staffs ignite.

Anakin Skywalker: How about now?
Obi-Wan Kenobi: OK, now they need our help.

Anakin Skywalker: First one to 100 kills wins!
Obi-Wan Kenobi: This is not a competition, Anakin.



Anakin Skywalker: Always doing things the hard way, Master……
Force crunch!

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Always showing off, Anakin……

Anakin Skywalker: Tied 1-1.
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Anakin……this is not a competition…

Trooper Dagda: Droidekas!!!

Trooper Ba’al: Where?!?! I can’t see them!!!
Trooper Dagda: Scamble! Scramble! Scramble!

Droidekas disengage and open fire.

Anakin Skywalker: 2 TO 1!!

Anakin Skywalker: 3 TO 1!!!

OOM-12: Continue the assault. Begin Operation: Nightcrawler.

Commander Cody: They’ve splintered us. Relay the emergency coordinates to everyone. We need to regroup!
Trooper Daiki: Yes, sir! Code Orange: Regroup at points 3-4-2-8!

Laser blasts and explosions fill the air.
Trooper Daiki over private comlink: Code Ora……group……points……2-8!
Trooper Dagda: Didn’t copy! Come in! I’ve lost my visual. Where is everybody??

Trooper Daiki: Dagda has been separated from the squad, sir. But I have his coordinates.
Commander Cody: Then let’s get to him before the droids do.

Trooper Dagda over private comlink: Didn’t copy!! Repeat!!! Wha----who are you?!?! No, wait ---- AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
Commander Cody: DAGDA?!

Comander Cody over private comlink: Hold on, trooper! We’re on our way!!!

Trooper Daiki: How is he, sir?
Commander Cody: He’s……he’s gone. We’re too late.

Commander Cody: He was stabbed with some type of spear.
Trooper Daiki: A spear?

Trooper Ba’al: It was my fault. I knew this was his first real combat. I should have never let him out of my sight.

Commander Cody: Don’t blame yourself, Ba’al. Dagda knew the danger of this mission. But we have to leave him behind. Leave a marker, and we will return for him.
Trooper Ba’al: But sir---

Commander Cody: I don’t want to leave him anymore than you do, Ba’al. But we are in a critical situation. The entire mission depends on us reaching their base. And his death tells us that we must contend with something more dangerous than droids.

OOM-12: Continue the offensive. The battle is ours to lose.

OOM-12: Advance the 3rd and 4th droid armies.

Sagev: Notify Count Dooku that the battle will be over shortly.
OOM-12: Yes, sir.

To be continued……

Special thanx to YESTERDAY808 for adding in the excellent special effects to really bring the story to life. Great working with ya, buddy!

06-30-2006, 12:02 PM
That was awesome, the visual effects were outstanding. Nice job Yesterday. It really does bring everything out.

I also like the name of Shades unit "Special Ops Trooper." http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Chapter 36 was probably my favorite so far SA. Keep up the great work, this is by far my favorite photonovels to read.

07-01-2006, 09:07 AM
Wow Longhorn,
Good call getting Yesterday to help you out with those effects, they look great. The action in Chapter 36 was fantastic, you really do battle scenes well.
Very much enjoyed the 501st sequences, hope to see more of them shaking down innocent travelers. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif
I completely forgot about Shade.
And I liked the use of the two different Mace figures.

Excellent work as usual. Hope you and Yesterday can work on more battle scenes in the future. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/wink.gif

07-02-2006, 03:05 PM
Very nice! The dialouge is great, and so are the pics. Can't wait for more.

07-03-2006, 02:43 PM
Wow I didn't want it to end!

THe spear!
The sith lord!
The utpaun warrior!

So much mystery! I love it

07-03-2006, 09:52 PM
Thanx for all the feedback, guys. I'm on vacation right now, so I don't have the time (or effort) to reply to each one, but I will as soon as I return. Keep them coming tho!

I do appreciate all of the feedback, compliments, and criticism. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

07-18-2006, 03:11 PM
This is getting better and better!

07-19-2006, 02:36 PM
best photo novel i have had the pleasure to read.

keep up the good work

07-19-2006, 04:04 PM
Well I am finally done with my two back-to-back vacations. So I can get back to work on this story!

SpecialOpsUnit: Thought you might like the name of Shade's division! YESTERDAY808 did an outstanding job with the visual effects. This current battle will look 100x better with his effects. Thanx for the compliment regarding this photonovel being your favorite - your compliments keep me motivated.

Flacksguy: Good to hear from ya, buddy. The battle scene came out great, despite my constant lying down in my tall grass. The 501st will continue to appear throughout this final Act. Shade has been waiting on Oner since witnessing Saesee Tiin's torture. YESTERDAY hit a homerun with every pic. And good news! I did get confirmation from him that he is ready to do more for the upcoming chapters. So stay tuned...

Commander Redd: Thanx for the feedback on the dialogue and pics. Always eager to get feedback about how the dialogue worked or didn't work.

Blight: Glad you like the mystery and suspense. All previous 33 chapters are leading up to this final Act and wil answer all questions by the end of the story.

Jediabartulin: Thanx for stopping by and leaving some feedback. I hope the story continues to build "steam" as it progresses to the conclusion. A lot more twists and turns upcoming.

SWE Clone: Thanx for also stopping by and leaving some feedback. I am very appreciative of the your kind words. This story has taken a life of it's own. I'll try to keep it going!

Thanx again for everyone leaving feedback. I am beginning to write the outlines for the next 3 chapters. Stay tuned... http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

07-19-2006, 11:20 PM
Hey, this photonovel is very impressive! I'm kinda new here, and don't post much, but for the past couple of months I've been up to date and always love to see the updates! Awesome stroyline, diolougue, and picutres. Everything is very clear and done nicely. Keep it up, and can't wait until the next update! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smile.gif

07-25-2006, 10:41 PM
awesome light show I like it!

07-30-2006, 04:14 PM
Again, great chapters.

I really admire your work-your storyline is superb-and your photography is brilliant.

Keep up this high level of work for which we all strive to be like.

As always, I still think yourself and CHEWIE are the masters of the photonovels, in every shape and form.

08-03-2006, 03:54 PM
Thanx for the feedback guys. Always happy to see feedback between the updates, especially since the update are taking longer to post everytime. I greatly appreciate all of the loyal readers, especially those that have been here since the beginning of this story, dating back to October 2005. Almost a year guys, sheesh... http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

Yodaman24: Thanx for finally leaving some feedback. Always want to read people's comments who take the time to read the photonovel. I appreciate the compliments, and I try to create a better chapter everytime out. Stay tuned and welcome to the board!

Nightwatcher: If you are referring to the special effects, all the credit goes to YESTERDAY808. He has created some outstanding effects in his stories, either the APRENTICE or the JEDI DUEL story. Check them out for more of his work.

Lushros Dofine: Thanx for the compliments. CHEWIE and I may have been here the longest, but there a bunch of new Scummers making some great stories, including your EMPIRE AT WAR photonovel. I'm just happy to know that people still find my story interesting after all this time!

As for another update, I was hoping to post chapters 37, 38, and 39 this Friday , August 4th. However, with my schedule being very hectic this week, the update may not come until Monday the 7th. Nevertheless, the next update really gets the DARK ILLUSIONS story moving full speed towards the conclusion. Here are some preview pics for your viewing pleasure, until the update is posted:

(I am going to have a problem with some of the sizes of the pics in this next update. I prefer to have all pics the size of the Cody/Dooku pics below, but some of the pics will be the size of the Shocktrooper's pic)


08-03-2006, 07:04 PM
Great previews SA, really looking forward to it like I'm always.

I'm one of those loyal readers. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/wink.gif

08-04-2006, 01:34 AM
These previews look fantastic.

One thing I love about your photonovels is the way you show Palpatine's grip on the galaxy tighten. It reminds me of modern day life-as governments tighten rules and remove civil liberities in the name of security. Very relevant to modern day life.

Your photonovel is grand and definately worth reading.

I tune in for every update and am looking forward to the next one very much-especially if that photo of Bail is something to do with Palpatine's security laws-which it has to be-otherwise why would the clones be there! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

Good work-in fact...fantastic work!

08-04-2006, 08:03 PM
Awesome preview pics! Can't wait for the next couple! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

08-04-2006, 11:51 PM
Photonovels rocks! post more! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif

08-14-2006, 10:32 AM
I am working on the final details for chapters 37, 38 & 39. For sure it will be posted this week, most likely on Wednesday - August 16th.

Until then, 2 more preview pics for those who are "patiently" waiting. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/smile.gif


08-14-2006, 10:46 AM
Looks like we have some good battle scenes coming our way.
Cool, looking forward to it.

C'mon Longhorn, Git 'R Done. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/grin.gif

08-16-2006, 03:29 PM
Well, after much delay and hard work, I have finally completed the next update, Chapters 37, 38 & 39. Many thanx to YESTERDAY808 for completing all the special effects in the following chapters. I may have overloaded him with so many pics. http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/crazy.gif

I hope this update was worth the wait, as it was the hardest set of chapters to complete, both in dialogue, photography, and special effects. I have to apologize again about the smaller sized pics, as there is no way to expand those shots without losing clarity.

So without any mroe delay......Enjoy! http://threads.rebelscum.com/images/graemlins/cool.gif

08-16-2006, 03:30 PM


Chapter 37

Despite the ongoing War and recent developments on Oner, rumors of a secret cloning facility on Coruscant are running rampant not only among concerned Senators, but ordinary citizens fearful of the new brand of justice enforced by the 501st Legion.

Senator Meena Tills: The 501st Clones were simply doing their job, Bail. We should consider that before we suggest they be reprimanded to the Chancellor.
Senator Bail Organa: I understand your concern, Meena.

Senator Bail Organa: However, if the 501st is allowed to operate without any supervision, incidents like what happened to the Rodian at Spaceport will continue unchallenged. It will only be a matter of time until we find ourselves in an intergalactic scandal due their brand of “peace keeping.”

Senator Meena Tills: I agree limits to their power must be declared, but not at the expense of the Capital’s security. We must protect the Senate and the Chancellor.
Senator Bail Organa: I’ll be sure to voice your concerns to the Chancellor. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m late for my appointment. I bid you both a good day.

Senator Bail Organa: (thinking) Great…more security…
Shocktrooper Oir: We have a visitor, Commander.

Commander Thire: May I see your identification.
Senator Bail Organa: I have an appointment with the Chancellor. I’m Senator Bail Organa of Alderaan. Surely you have my name on his itinerary.

Commander Thire: The Chancellor’s schedule is confidential. Let me see your identi---- is that a blaster underneath your cloak, sir???
Senator Bail Organa: A blaster? Oh, yes, it is. I forgot to ---

Commander Thire: Don’t move! Hands up!
Senator Bail Organa: Whoa!! Calm down…calm down…

Commander Thire: Hand over your blaster and identification. NOW, SIR!!!
Senator Bail Organa: N-N-No problem……here you go…nice and easy……

Commander Thire: Does he have a code clearance?
Shocktrooper Oir: Yes, Commander. Senator Organa is on today’s approved list of guests. He is ten minutes late.

Commander Thire: You are free to proceed, Senator. We are confiscating your blaster, however.
Senator Bail Organa: Of course……

Senator Bail Organa: (thinking) Welcome to the new Republic……

Shocktrooper Oir: His blaster wasn’t charged, sir.
Commander Thire: No matter……keep an eye on him.

Mas Amedda: Welcome, Senator Organa. The Chancellor has been expecting you.
Senator Bail Organa: I was……delayed unexpectedly.

Chancellor Palpatine: Senator Organa…so good to see you again.
Senator Bail Organa: My apologies for my lateness, Chancellor.

Chancellor Palpatine: Oh, think nothing of it. I always look forward to our conversations. I hope the Security Clones weren’t too bothersome.

Senator Bail Organa: Well, the security has definitely tightened around here, Chancellor.
Chancellor Palpatine: Yes, an unfortunate sacrifice during these stressful times.

Chancellor Palpatine: But don’ forget, it was your fellow Senators that decreed I be accompanied at all times by either the Homeland Security Clones or the Royal Guards.

Senator Bail Organa: Actually, that was the reason I wanted to speak with you privately, Chancellor. There is a growing concern among both Senators and our constituents regarding the limitless power of the Galactic Security.
Chancellor Palpatine: Oh? Are you referring to the incidents at Dex’s Diner and at the Spaceport?

Senator Bail Organa: Well…yes, I am. Both incidents have quickly earned the 501st a reputation of a “shoot first, ask questions later” security team.

Chancellor Palpatine: I was informed the explosion at Dex’s Diner was the result of a gas leak, which obviously had nothing to do with the 501st. As for the Rodian at the Spaceport, that was a regrettable incident. The Rodian matched the description of a suspected terrorist named Greedo. However, we are taking corrective steps to prevent such an occurrence from happening again.

Senator Bail Organa: Well, Chancellor, if I may be so bold……it will be difficult to judge whether or not the Clones have acted improperly if there are no written laws to judge them by. We need someone to oversee their day-to-day operations…someone who is not a Clone.
Chancellor Palpatine: Oh, I agree, Senator. That was the reason I requested a Jedi be assigned to command the 501st.

Chancellor Palpatine: Unfortunately, the Jedi Council has ignored my requests. The War has the Council spread across the galaxy. Until they reconvene, the Republic’s security will be in the hands of the 501st Legion. They are more than capable of handling the responsibility, I assure you.

Chancellor Palpatine: You have my word, as Chancellor, that the incidents in question will be investigated fully. And the results will be made public.
Senator Bail Organa: I’m sure that will go a long way in restoring trust in the 501st.

Senator Bail Organa: However, there is another matter I wish to speak to you about…a matter of some delicacy.
Chancellor Palpatine: Go on, Senator.

Senator Bail Organa: There have been several reports on the HoloNet about a secret cloning facility right here on Coruscant. According to these reports, Taun We herself is in charge of the facility and continues to operate it without prior approval from the Senate.

Chancellor Palpatine: I have also seen these reports. Trust me when I say that the reports are just speculation without any basis in fact. The Kaminoans are under strict orders to contact the Senate regarding any matters with the Clone Army.

Chancellor Palpatine: If there were a cloning facility on Coruscant, my office would be aware of it. But as you know……the Senate would first have to approve of such a facility.

Senate Bail Organa: Yes, of course. I believe that is the reason for the concern, if the reports were true. There has been no mention of such a proposal to this point.

Chancellor Palpatine: I will recommend a commission be created to ascertain the truth. We will discover the source of these reports immediately.
Senator Bail Organa: Thank you, Chancellor. I will pass that information along.

Senator Bail Organa: My compliments to you for this fine piece of artwork. Is it new?
Chancellor Palpatine: No, this crystal was a gift to the Republic from the people of Oner many years ago. A token of appreciation for the rebuilding efforts of their homeland. They were truly artists, don’t you think?

Chancellor Palpatine: I felt it was appropriate to display the sculpture during the current campaign. This sculpture now stands as a memorial to the fallen people of Oner.

Senator Bail Organa: A very nice gesture, Chancellor. I thank you for your time.
Chancellor Palpatine: Always a pleasure to hear from you, Senator. Only working together can we bring peace and security to the Republic.

Mas Amedda: I trust your meeting was informative, Chancellor?

Chancellor Palpatine: Indeed……

08-16-2006, 03:32 PM

Chapter 38

As Commander Cody and the 212th Battalion attack the Separatist forces on the plains of Oner, Commander Gree and the Elite Corps begin their search & rescue mission for Jedi Master Saesee Tiin.

Commander Gree: We’re approaching the village, General Windu.

Commander Gree: Allow us scout ahead, General. We don’t want to lose the element of surprise.
Mace Windu: Very well, Commander.

Commander Gree: The vegetation on this planet is exquisite. It will provide excellent cover for us, and make identifying rancor tracks easy.
Elite Trooper Phi: Droids up ahead, sir.

Commander Gree: Everyone down! Just two battle droids. The main battle is far away from here, so these droids must be on patrol. We must be close.

Commander Gree: Everyone spread out. I want a triangular shot.

Commander Gree over private comlink: We need to take them out quickly, men. We only got one chance at this. Ready……aim……

Commander Gree: ……fire!
Laser blast!

Laser blast!

Commander Gree: Dead eye!

Commander Gree: Get to the droids ASAP!

Commander Gree: Re-activate the droids’ communication signal. We don’t want their Command Center to know these droids are down.

Elite Trooper Phi: The signal has been re-established, Commander.
Commander Gree: Good work.

Commander Gree: General Windu, you may now advance to my coordinates.

Mace Windu: Very good, Commander. I sense a trap, Kit. The dark side surrounds this place.
Kit Fisto: It’s Count Dooku. He knows we are coming.

Kit Fisto: It makes no sense for Dooku to kidnap Master Tiin and bring the War to an empty place like Oner……unless, of course, he is using him as bait. But why keep him alive?

Mace Windu: I wish I knew. There is something else at play here. Either way, the Force will be our guide.


Commander Gree: Fire!
Laser blast!

Laser blast!

Commander Gree: Two more droids. Re-establish their signals. We are very close now…


Elite Trooper Phi: The battle has been going on for hours. How do you think the 212th are doing, sir?
Commander Gree: The Droid Army was well prepared for this battle. Commander Cody knew what they were up against. I have no doubt they will be successful. But there will be many casualties.

Commander Gree: We will honor our fallen brethren by successfully completing our mission. Let’s keep moving...

While Gree and the Elite corps continues their covert operation, the battle on the rolling plains of Oner rages on……

OOM-12: Execute formation 45. CHARGE!
Laser blasts!

Laser blasts!

Clone Trooper Diffe: Arghhhh…
Clone Trooper Cyef: Uuugghhhh…

Clone Trooper Verd: Returning fire!
Laser blasts!

Clone Trooper Verd: Got’em!

Battle Droid 214B: Charge!
Laser blasts!

Clone Trooper Zub: More droids incoming!
Laser blasts!


Super Battle Droid 341A: Clone troopers straight ahead.
Laser blasts!

Clone Trooper Klou: Look out!!!
Clone Trooper Zub: …uuugghh!
Clone Trooper Uhvl: I’m hit…

Clone Trooper Klou: More droids behind us!
Laser blasts!

Commander Cody: Cover fire!!!

Commander Cody: They’re trying to out-flank us.

Commander Cody: Call in the reinforcements. We need more men!

Elsewhere on the battlefield…

Clone Trooper Tobey: Don’t let them get away. Shoot them down!!!

Clone Trooper Tobey: Just like the simulation!
Laser blasts!

Clone Trooper Tobey: Nobody messes with the 212th!
Clone Troopers Polu & Xabl: Yea!

Suddenly, a spear stabs a clone trooper in the back of the neck.
Clone Trooper Polu: BLEH---

Clone Trooper Xabl: Who?! Let go of my blaster! Tobey!!!

Laser blast!
Clone Trooper Tobey: What is it --- uuuggghhh….

Clone Trooper Xabl: Ooof!

Clone Trooper Xabl: Get off of me, freak!

Clone Trooper Xabl: …got to get my blaster……where is it??? Where is it?!?!

Clone Trooper Xabl: Got it! Now you’re…

Clone Trooper Xabl: …dead! Huh?

Sagev: No……now you’re dead…freak.

On another part of the battlefield…

Slash! Slash!
Anakin Skywalker: 67! 68!

Anakin Skywalker: 69!

Laser blasts!
Anakin Skywalker: 70!!!

Anakin Skywalker: I’m at 70 droids. How many do you have, Master?

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Anakin……we are not in competition!

Super Battle Droid 913X: Die Jedi!


Obi-Wan Kenobi: Our objective is to defeat the Droid Army.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: But I think that last one puts me at 75.
Anakin Skywalker: What?? 75?!?

Clone Trooper Rtho: No! Get away! Ughhhhh…
Anakin Skywalker: What was that?
Obi-Wan Kenobi: I don’t know…

Anakin Skywalker: That was no droid. They’re not programmed to fight at close range. Something’s not right……

Obi-Wan Kenobi: I sense it also. Something or somebody is attacking our troopers.

Clone Trooper Oyre: Help! AAAHHH----
Anakin Skywalker: Over there!!!

Obi-Wan Kenobi: No, Anakin! Wait!!!

The Republic Gunships begin arriving, bringing more troops to the battlefield…

Commander Oddball: The drop point is coming up. Get ready, troopers!

Commander Oddball: Go! Go! Go!
Clone Troopers: YEEAAAAA!!!

Laser blasts!

Battle Droid 867A: Republic Gunships are incoming.

OOM-12: Fire all anti-aircraft turrets!
Battle Droid 867A: Roger roger!

Turret laser blasts!

Clone Trooper Edui: We got incoming fire! Look out!

Clone Pilot Aryn: Too late!!!
Clone Trooper Edui: AAAAHHHHH!!!!

The explosion is heard across the plains.
Commander Cody: They got one of our ships…fully loaded.

Battle Droid 537X: Die clones die!
Laser blasts!

Clone Trooper Cabz: Uugghh!
Commander Cody: More droids……
Laser blasts!


Turret laser blast!

Commander Oddball: We’re taking heavy fire! Everybody hold on!!!
Turret laser blasts!

Commander Cody: We are playing right into their hands.
Laser blasts!

Commander Cody: And losing too many men.

Commander Cody: Tell the Gunships to make their drops further back until we clear the battlefield of those turrets.

Commander Cody: We need to do something OOM-12 wouldn’t expect us to do……something he’s never prepared for……

08-16-2006, 03:35 PM

Chapter 39

Unknown to Senator Bail Organa and the rest of the Senate, the rumored Cloning Facility on Coruscant, codename Perfidy, continues to operate deep under the planet’s surface, in a secret bunker whose location is only known to a select few.

Taun We: That concludes today’s session. We will continue tomorrow. Please resume your security patrols.
Trooper Hades: Thank you, Taun We.

Taun We: And now back to work…

Door slides open
Taun We: Hades, is that you? We will continue the training tomorrow---

Commander Appo: Taun We -- your services are no longer necessary. Consider this job terminated.

Taun We: I’m in charge of this cloning facility, not the Republic.
Commander Appo: Not anymore…

Tuan We: Noooo!!!
Commander Appo: Blast her!!!
Laser blasts!!!

Commander Appo: Target has been eliminated.

Trooper Hades: Did you hear something?
Trooper Crimson: Negative.

At the same time, a secret transmission is being sent from The Works on Coruscant…

Darth Sidious: How goes the War, Lord Tyranus?
Count Dooku: Very good, My Lord. We have acquired several new systems during the Outer Rim sieges, including some without firing a single shot.

Darth Sidious: Excellent. Where are the Separatist leaders now?
Count Dooku: They have been moved to Cato Nemodia for the time being. Viceroy Gunray preferred to be a safe distance away from the action, of course.

Darth Sidious: And the battle on Oner?
Count Dooku: The battle is on schedule. The young Utapaun warrior is proving to be very……useful.

Count Dooku: Commander OOM-12 has the Clone Army on the run. It will not be long until we secure a victory.

Count Dooku: We are also tracking several Jedi that arrived with the Clone Army, no doubt to reclaim Master Tiin.

Darth Sidious: You have done well, Lord Tyrannus. But be mindful. The Jedi are not to be underestimated.

Count Dooku: Then, do I have your approval to proceed with the final part of our plan, Master?

Darth Sidious: Yes…the time has come.
Shade: (thinking)……he’s here……finally……

Darth Sidious: Inform General Grievous that he may begin eliminating the Jedi……beginning with Master Tiin.
Count Dooku: Yes, my Master.

Darth Sidious: Except for Kenobi and Skywalker. You must deal with them personally.

Count Dooku: Finally the time has come for young Skywalker. His destiny lies with me.

Darth Sidious: We will deal with Skywalker in due time.
Count Dooku: Forgive me, Lord Sidious. Your orders then?

Shade: (thinking)……it IS him……THE Darth Sidious……

Darth Sidious: Eliminate Obi-Wan Kenobi. His death will be the first step towards securing Skywalker’s fate.
Count Dooku: It will be done, my Lord.

Darth Sidious: All loose ends on Coruscant have been……taken care of. Everything is going as I have foreseen.

Darth Sidious: The time for illusions is over.
Count Dooku: As is the reign of the Jedi Order.

Shade: (thinking)…no time to wait for slow-footed Jedi……have to act now……

Shade: (thinking)……time to end this War……once and for all……FOR THE REPUBLIC!!!
Laser blasts!

To be continued……

Many thanx to YESTERDAY808 for adding the excellent special effects to chapters 38 and 39. The battles scenes would be very boring without him and his special effects, which bring the story to life. Great working with you again, YESTERDAY.